


Bread and Bitter

by KlonoaDreams



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst and Humor, Casual Discussions of Dead Bodies, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dark Comedy, Everyone is hot, Flirting and Crushes, Friendship, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Memes, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Insert, and screaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-06-11 05:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 65,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15308673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KlonoaDreams/pseuds/KlonoaDreams
Summary: You'd think that waking up hungover in some random facility—of which you have no memory of ever joining—would make you the least qualified to save the world. Too bad you're all that's left, assisted by a staff made up of mostly unpaid interns, a lovable kouhai, a doctor who goes on about his internet idols, and a local thot who demands money in exchange for Saint Quartz.





	1. Spirits and Stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all, just here to say that I’m doing perfectly fine and I like to apologize in advance for starting up yet another fanfic when I have so many others that I need to work on!
> 
> Except I do what I want, so sorry, not sorry!
> 
> Yeahhhh, I just recently beat the Camelot Singularity in _Fate/Grand Order_ , so…in honor of that feat, because it was a pain in the ass to get through, I introduce you to yet another idea formed within the depths of the Gacha Meme Hell Discord Chat (formerly known as Clair de Lune).
> 
> FUN FACT: Bread and Bitter is actually the name of our general chat—so that’s a thing!
> 
> Anyways, I was enabled—mainly by **Alicitzen** , as they are the reason I got dragged into the gacha hell that is _FGO_.
> 
> Speaking of **Alicitzen** , shout outs to them, **Lyrecho** , **ShadedCat** , **kurobook** , **PartyFavors** ( **Jadecore** ), and **TheOnlyN** (who helped IMMENSELY with this fic’s summary) for taking part in the creation that is this fic!
> 
> Having said that, let’s get this disclaimer out of the way! But before that, a quick announcement!
> 
>  
> 
> **I have only beaten up to the Camelot Singularity and I am in no ways caught up with JP _Fate/Grand Order_ , so please avoid any spoilers that come after the Camelot Singularity. Like, seriously—don’t be that guy who spoils shit.**
> 
>  
> 
> I want to experience this game for myself as it updates, so again, **NO SPOILERS AFTER CAMELOT.**
> 
> Anyways, disclaimer!
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer for the entire story: I don’t own _Fate/Grand Order_ or anything related to the _Fate_ series!**

You know, there are probably better ways to spend the weekend that don’t involve getting shit-faced drunk. There are certainly more responsible ways that are likely productive, too—but none of that crossed my mind as I was downing the fruity alcoholic cocktails that I had made in the kitchen. I just…needed to take my mind off of things and drinking seemed to be the best solution I can think of for the moment.

I don’t plan on making this a habit—that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I may not be the smartest person around, but I’m not _that_ stupid.

_Famous last words…_

“Shut up, brain…” And I’ve reached the point where I’ve started talking to myself. Welp, that’s enough drinking for me! I consider myself pretty lucky that my parents aren’t home and today was just one of those days where I neglected to take my medication and had nothing better to do that would require me to drive.

I was surprisingly still conscious by the time I got back to my room. I grabbed my tablet off my desk and jumped into bed to play the few gacha games I have on it (which is honestly the only reason I have a tablet in the first place). This is probably the last thing I should be doing while under the influence but fuck it—this is my only form of entertainment until I inevitably pass out.

_Only a matter of time…_

I’m such a fucking lightweight—why did I do this to myself?! “ _Ooh_ , an apple!!”

_Sweet—I can keep playing!!_

“I love you too, Hans!!” I slurred out while resisting the urge I had to kiss my tablet’s screen. “And I love youuuuu, Oz…!”

_God, I’m so pathetic…_

“Fuck off, Tristan—you waste of a pretty boy.” I was expecting memes and jokes when I got to Camelot—what the absolute fuck did I actually walk into?! Pain and suffering—that’s what! “Can’t wait to kick your ass…”

Assuming I don’t get my ass thoroughly whooped…

_Ahahaha, fuck me and my indecisive luck._

There isn’t much that I remember after that. I just remember getting very comfortable in bed (I _vaguely_ recall flirting with Ozymandias—I was **really** out of it) and that’s that—out like a light. It’s the same shit as usual. Just another case of me passing the fuck out because I’m an effing lightweight, except…

_Something is off…_

I feel so… _light_ —like I’m floating in water, except when I move my fingers, there’s nothing.

_Nothing but air…_

That’s when an uncomfortable tingling sensation spreads throughout my skin. It grows stronger and stronger with each passing moment, making it increasingly difficult to remain asleep.

_I don’t…want to wake up._

My head feels so fuzzy—as though it’s full of cotton.

_Is this what it feels like to have a hangover?_

“Uuurgh…” Go back to sleep, _please_ …

“Fou? Kyuu…Kyuu?” I have never been that much of a morning person and this is certainly no exception. Please shut the fuck up, whoever the hell is there! “Fou! Fou…Fou!”

_What the actual **fuck**?!_

Something just _licked_ my cheek! Okay…okay— _that_ fucking woke me up. “Hrrrk…”

_Oh god, **why** am I even awake?!_

My vision practically swims when I open my eyes. The bright light really hurts and…hello, who the heck are you?

“Uhhh…” I stared blearily at the girl whose face is right in front of mine. Her hair color is the first thing that stands out to me in my extremely disoriented state, which happens to be a very pale shade of…purple?

_Kinda looks pinkish…_

Her hair barely brushes the tops of her shoulders, with long bangs that almost obscures both of her eyes. A dark purple eye peeks out, staring intently at me through a pair of glasses.

“Umm…this isn’t a good place to sleep,” she says to me.

All of a sudden, I become increasingly aware of the hard surface my body rests on—why the hell am I on the floor?! Waitwait _wait_ — ** _hello_**?!

“This isn’t my room.” Where the hell is the mess that I’ve grown to tolerate to an extent instead of clean up due to depressive moods? “This isn’t my beautiful house.”

I don’t recognize a god damn thing about this place and while my house was pretty average-looking, it still looked a lot nicer than _this_ place and its empty hallways!

“You’re not my beautiful husband!” I’m rambling at this point, but this girl looks _nothing_ like Ozymandias!

_Waaaay too pale!_

The girl blinks. “I’m…nobody’s spouse—you’re married?”

“Nope.” I shake my head—an action I immediately regret when my head starts to spin. “Uugh…”

“Are you okay?” she asks, sounding somewhat concerned.

“I’m…fine?” Huurk—give me a moment. Bleegh…

_Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t throw up!_

“Do you need some help?” The girl holds out her hand. “You shouldn’t sleep in the hall—or do you need a hard bed?”

“I don’t…” I prefer firm mattresses, but this beyond what I like! “I’m supposed to be in my room—where am I?”

Did I fucking leave the house in a drunken haze—is that it?

_Oh man, Mama is **not** gonna like this…_

“You’re in an observatory.” How the _fuck_ did I find one on such a short notice?! I live in the middle of heckin’ nowhere in the hot-as-hell state of Southern California! It’s at least a three-hour ride to get anywhere worth notice and even _my_ dumbass self knows better than to drive under the influence!

Especially after the shit that happened near the end of May when I lost control of the car and crashed it into a tree…which we don’t speak of, now that it’s become a joke amongst my older siblings.

_It’s funny when you guys do it, but when I do it to you guys, then all of a sudden **everyone** is pissed off because they can’t take a joke!_

I hate being the youngest…

“Fou!” A high-pitched cry reaches my ears in ways that make my head throb.

Oh god—that’s too close!

“That’s Fou, by the way.” What the hell is a Fou?

_Is that something you can eat? I’m hungry—Jesus fuck, what kind of animal is that?!_

I jumped back at the sight of the white-colored ball of fluff that leapt off my shoulder. It stands on the floor on four feet, with long ears that almost remind me of some sort of rabbit. It’s rather small, with violet-colored sclera and a long-flowing tail. It wears a little cape of some sort, which is honestly adorable now that I think about it…

“Fou!” it cries out. “Fou, Fou!

Holy fuck—it’s a Pokémon!

_Generation VIII is looking pretty good—the graphics are phenomenal!_

Oh god, I need _help_ …

“He’s a Privileged Life-form allowed to freely walk around Chaldea,” the girl explains to me as slowly as possible, as though she instantly knew that I suck eggs at listening to people.

_Curse you ADHD and your comorbid auditory-processing disorder!_

Wait… “Chaldea?”

“That’s the name of this place.” The girl’s left eye shifts to the side to follow after Fou as he scampers off down the hallway. She exhales, sounding somewhat disappointed. “He ran off somewhere again. He does that sometimes, just walks around…”

“Very cat-like…” I should know—I had two cats…had. That number went down to one as of last year. Poor ol’ Lucky bit the dust… I miss that fatso and his squeaky meows… “What a mysterious creature…”

“Yes, normally he doesn’t go near anyone aside from me…but he seems to like you, Senpai.” The girl gives me a small smile. How cute…wait.

_Senpai?_

“Congratulations—now you shall become the second caretaker of Fou in Chaldea!” The girl doesn’t give me enough time to react as she grabs me by the hand and helps me stand up. It’s quite the impressive feat for someone who is…actually taller than me. Never mind. “Careful—it seems you’re still half-asleep.”

Naaah, that’s just a massive hangover, _slowly_ killing me from the inside… “Do you have any water?”

Bleeegh, my mouth is so dry, it’s _nasty_!

…

About ten minutes later, I was now chugging down an entire bottle of water that the girl brought me after leading me over to a nearby bench. It feels good to drink water—so nice and refreshing!

“Ahhh…” I sighed contently after nearly drinking half the contents of the bottle. “Thanks—uhhh…I’m sorry, but what’s your name?”

_Should’ve asked that first before anything…_

“That’s a hard question to answer suddenly.” The girl sits to my left, looking somewhat uncertain as to how to answer my question. “Maybe I’m not important enough for you to know my name?”

_Excuse me?_

“Sweetie—I don’t know who’s been telling you shit, but you’re worth a lot more than you think you are.” I’m gonna kick the ass of whoever is responsible for contributing to this girl’s low sense of self-esteem… “And anyone who says otherwise deserves a swift punch to the gut!”

“Uuhmm!” The girl’s face lights up with a prominent blush. “You don’t have to go that far, Senpai…”

“You don’t have to call me that!” It’s kind of awkward, considering this girl seems to know more than I do… “I’m not anyone special, after all.”

At least, not special enough to be called something like senpai or something…

“Nonono—everyone is a ‘senpai’ to me!” the girl quickly explains. “That’s…just how it is.”

“Uh-huh…” Sounds kinda bullshit to me, but if it’s what makes her most comfortable, then I won’t stop her. I’ll just have to get used to it, then—assuming I stick around long enough. Shit— _that’s right_! “So like…I’m not supposed to be here.”

The girl blinks a few times. “Huh?”

“Look—I don’t know what happened while I was drunk, but if I broke into some high-security facility, then can you please show me the nearest exit so I can leave?” Preferably like…right now. “And can you _please_ not press any charges?”

I go back to school like next month and I honestly don’t need a criminal record of any sort messing with my financial aid eligibility. Also, I am in _desperate_ need for some painkillers. I think—I think I might just swear off alcohol after this.

_Haha—fat chance!_

Shut up, brain!

“Umm…” The poor girl just looked so confused. I don’t think she was expecting any of this. She might just be some intern or something—which would explain why she decided to talk to me instead of reporting me to the nearest authoritative figure that will likely put my ass in jail.

“Ah, there you are, Mash!” I nearly screamed at the deep-ass masculine voice that had reached my ears. I turned to my right to see a man walking toward us. He had long, fluffy hair and wore a green suit with a top hat of the same color. “That won’t do, you know, wandering about without permi…oh.”

He seemed genuinely surprised at first upon noticing me. Then he smiled at us, as though nothing was wrong—even though it was. Because I am not supposed to be here.

_I’m not supposed to be **anywhere** except home._

“I see—someone’s already with you.” He tipped his hat as though to greet me. “You’re…”

“Leaving!” I immediately interjected, my anxiety having gotten the best of me. “I’m _so_ sorry for breaking and entering—please don’t call the police!”

I’m not rich enough to pay off my own tuition without financial aid!

“Senpai—it’s okay!” The girl grabbed onto my hand, keeping me somewhat grounded as I tried my very best to avoid having an anxiety attack.

_Hello, anxiety, it’s been a while since you last ruined my day. Can you **please** fuck off?_

It took me a few seconds to realize that the man was laughing at my antics, while the poor girl was still trying her best to keep me calm.

_Laughter is good!_

Laughter means that I might just be let off with a warning! “Am I in trouble?”

“Why would you be?” The man adjusts his hat. “You’re the rookie who just got assigned here. If there’s anyone who’s supposed to be here, then it’s you.”

Weird man say wha…? “Excuse me?”

“Where are my manners?” The man smiled. “I’m Lev Lainur, one of the technicians employed here. And your name is?”

“Uhhh…Noa?” If I sound uncertain, that’s because I am—it’s like the first name to pop into my head and something about it feels right, but I _know_ that’s not my real name.

“Hmm, Noa…” Lev holds up his wrist and presses a button on this bracelet that he’s wearing. Immediately, a hologram pops out of it, showing a picture of some random girl with orange hair. There’s a name right next to her picture, but before I have a chance to read it, Lev shuts the hologram off and just smiles at me. “So you’re the last of the forty-eight candidates.”

“Wha?” _Hello_? Did I sign up for something while I was drunk? Is that it?!

_Oh, Noa, you’ve really gotten yourself in some deep shit now!_

“Welcome to Chaldea,” Lev tells me, seemingly oblivious to my current state of bewilderment. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Thanks?” Geez, I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to this, like—I thought I was beyond pulling stupid shit while I was drunk!

_Then again, I’ve done stupider shit while sober, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised…_

“I heard you were selected out of many public applicants—how long was your training?” Lev’s question snaps me out of my thoughts. “A year? Six months? Three months?”

“Dude, I don’t know what sort of training you’re looking for, but the most experience I have is as a sales associate.” To be honest, I’d rather be working at Starbucks or even McDonalds, but a job’s a job—even if your boss happens to be your second oldest brother’s ex-wife, who is a massive _bitch_.

_Be strong, Noa—be strong for your wallet._

“Oh?” A wide grin formed on Lev’s face as he closed his eyes. “So you’re a complete amateur?”

_WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT—_

“Right…” Lev placed his hand on his chin. “Come to think of it, we did call for applicants to just fill numbers.”

_Is that what I did?_

Shit, no wonder I got dragged into this mess!

“So you’re one of them? Do forgive me, I was inconsiderate.” You sure the heck were, Lev. You just don’t do that to people for…whatever the hell _this_ is. “But please don’t be discouraged because you’re a public applicant. We need all of you for this mission.”

Ahh, hell—did I sign up for some random testing? Is that it?!

“What am I getting out of this?” Look, I need to know before I decide to follow through on whatever experiments I’m gonna go through. “Like, am I gonna benefit from this in any way? Actually—will this do my resume any good?”

Forget pay—I’d fucking _kill_ to build my resume right now! A better resume means higher chances of finding work elsewhere so I can finally quit my job.

_That means the evil that is my boss will be defeated!_

“I assume it should,” Lev replied. “After all, what you’re doing is very important.”

“Okay then, I guess I’ll stick around.” Even though I should probably be heading home… I’m sure Mama will understand.

_Oh, she heckin’ won’t—I’m dead upon arrival._

“Well…that’s good to hear.” Lev chuckled. “If there’s something you don’t understand, feel free to ask Mash or myself anytime…”

_Mash?_

Is that her name? That’s…kinda a weird name. It’s like one letter away from smash.

_Lemme smash._

Memes aside, I’m in no position to judge people’s names and considering that one of my online friends went by the name of Smash… That’s probably why it’s weird for me.

_Geez, I hope I don’t accidentally call her Smash, then…_

“So what were you two talking about?” Lev turned to Mash. “That’s not like you. Did you know each other before?”

Mash shook her head. “No, I’d never met Senpai before. I just saw Senpai sleeping here, so I just…”

“Sleeping?” Lev turned his attention back on me. “Noa was asleep, here?”

I just shrugged. “I guess so. Don’t ask me what I was doing before then—I honestly don’t remember.”

_Maybe after this hangover goes the fuck away…_

“Ahh, you went through the simulation when you entered, right?” I stared questioningly at Lev. “Spiritron Dives can get to you if you’re not used to them.”

And just like that, he lost me!!

“I’m guessing after the simulation, the gate must’ve opened, and you walked over here before you returned to consciousness,” he continues. “It’s a type of sleep-walking. When you fell, Noa, that was when Mash spoke to you.”

…

…

Sure, let’s go with that. It _totally_ wasn’t because I was drunk, ahahaha…

“You seem to be fine, but I’d like to take you to the infirmary just in case…” Oh goodie, maybe I can get some painkillers from there to ease my throbbing headache! “Oh, sorry—hang in there just a little longer. The Director’s orientation is about to start. You should hurry over.”

“Orientation?” Wait a sec—shit, I forgot that those were a thing!

“It’s to greet the Master candidates assigned here today,” Mash explained to me. “Master candidates like you!”

_Master? **What**?_

“In other words, it’s for the big boss to welcome the careless newbies.” Lev doesn’t hold back his punches. “Since the Director is not the type to forgive and forget, if you show up late, you’ll be on her radar for the entire year.”

Oh shit, then I should probably get going! “When is it?!”

“It should start in…about five minutes.” Lev grins. “It’s in the Central Command Room. Just go straight down this hall and you should get there. You better hurry, though.”

I don’t now who this Director is, but I feel that it is now my mission to avoid getting on her radar. I’ve already spent a month on my current boss’s radar for being late and she _still_ hasn’t let me off the hook. I didn’t even bother to say anything else, as I just took off down the hall.

It…took less than a minute for Mash to just catch up with me. Just in time, because I honestly don’t know how else I would’ve gotten off the floor after tripping and falling. Hungover me is especially lazy…

_And sleepy._

Geez, I’ve never felt this exhausted before. I’m guessing the adrenaline must’ve worn off now that I know I’m not in any serious trouble. I yawned loudly as I followed Mash onto an elevator. Lev followed right after us, deciding to tag along for reasons involving Mash.

“If I leave you alone like this, the Director might yell at me,” Lev explained with a somewhat nervous chuckle. “Might be for the best.”

“Better safe than sorry,” I mumbled out. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy, making it so tempting to just close them. Aaaaaand I’m pretty sure I just tuned out anything that Lev might have said to me, so I just pretended I was listening and nodded my head. I might have nodded off momentarily, because the next thing I know, Mash had me by the hand and was dragging me off in some random direction.

Thankfully, that random direction brought me to the Central Command Room, where a very pretty lady with long, silver hair, fair skin, and tawny-colored eyes was in the middle of talking to a large group of people wearing white uniforms. She seemed justifiably annoyed when Mash guided me to an empty seat in the front row of seats where everyone was sitting. As soon as Mash left my side, the lady crossed her arms over her chest and continued speaking.

“Well, that wasn’t on time.” She threw an angry glare in my direction. “But it looks like we’re all here now.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, turning my head to my right when some pale-skinned guy with black hair gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He had some of the bluest eyes I have ever seen…and then I promptly looked away before it got weird.

_Now’s not the time for flirting!_

Don’t even think that counts as flirting, my brain is just acting weird…

“Welcome to the Special Organization, Chaldea!” the lady continued with her orientation. “I’m the director, Olga Marie Animusphere.”

_Animusphere?_

What a strange name…oop! Almost fell asleep!

“You have been selected, or discovered from each nation for your rare—” I don’t remember much of what Olga Marie had said because at some point, I just whited out. That’s when I felt a very harsh slap on my face that woke me the fuck up.

“Ahhh!” My eyes snapped open, my hands immediately covering the red imprint of a hand on my cheek. “Oow…”

“Are you all right, Senpai?” Mash asked, looking rather concerned.

“Uhh…wait—was I asleep?” I don’t remember leaving the Central Command Room!

“Yes.” Mash nodded her head. “It seemed like you were in REM sleep… Anyway, the Director’s slap seemed to wake you up completely. Thank goodness.”

Yeah, yeah…say that to my face, where the Director’s bitch slap left a lasting impression…

_Can I report this for some compensation?_

Maybe, but do I really wanna go through the effort?

_Not really—she’s probably rich as fuck, anyways, so her lawyers will kick my ass._

Man, I wish I was rich…or at least had enough money to live a somewhat comfortable life. Then maybe, I could buy myself a _Switch_!

_Yeah!_

“It seems you’ve been left out of the first mission, Senpai.” Mash managed to snap me out of my thoughts. “I was just taking you back to your room.”

_I have a room?_

“I have a room?” Jesus fuck, how long have I been here?!

“Of course—why wouldn’t you?” Poor Mash just looked so confused. I’m sorry, sweetie—but I really need to know the shit that my intoxicated ass got myself into… “Just follow me, okay?”

Sluggishly, I nodded before letting another loud yawn. Might do me some good to sleep off this hangover if I actually want to act like a functional person…

…

As soon as we got off the elevator, Mash got attacked by a killer rabbit. Except that killer rabbit wasn’t a killer rabbit, but just Fou.

“Fou!” Fou just kinda hissed at me for screaming at him.

“It’s okay!” Mash tried to reassure me. “Fou likes to attack my face, slide around to my back, and settle on my shoulder. No need to scream.”

I’m sorry, but I wasn’t expecting him to jump the fuck out of nowhere like that! “Sorry, Fou…”

“Kyuu!” Fou just nuzzled his cheek against Mash’s. “Fou, Fou!!”

“So…were you the one to name him?” I mean, not the most creative of names, considering that Fou is pretty much a Pokémon if he’s just repeating his own species name or whatever.

“That’s right.” Mash nodded her head. “No special reason, the word ‘Fou’ is the first thing that popped into my mind.”

Huh, so it was like that…

“I’m impressed that you knew that, Senpai.” Mash smiled at me, making me feel somewhat bashful. “I see you’re quiet perceptive yourself.”

“Ahaha, I guess…” She must never know of my tendency to ignore what’s right in front of my face… “Ahh!”

Fou jumped onto my shoulder and…is currently nuzzling me. Huh…fluffy.

_So soft~!_

“Apparently, Fou’s embraced you as one of his own, Senpai.” Mash couldn’t help but laugh. “But can a squirrel who sees humans as rivals exist in this world?”

_Is that what he is?_

That’s one weird-looking squirrel, then. Wait— “He sees me as a rival?”

Oh honey, you’ve got a big storm coming your way. I’m the last person you’d ever want as a rival, for the sheer fact that my stubbornness has made people quit out of their own free volition. I’m that exhausting of a person when I want to be, and it is _not_ a fun time when that happens.

“I’m sure he’ll forget it by tomorrow,” Mash said, likely basing it off of her experience with Fou. “Anyways, we’re here now. This is your room.”

“Oh…thank you.” I guess I wasn’t paying that much attention—kinda hard when you have a fluffy little… _thing_ , on your shoulder. So fluffy, ehehe~!

“I should be heading back, now, to A Team.” Mash stops for a moment to listen to what Fou has to say. A smile forms on her lips. “Fou says he’ll look after you, Senpai. That sets my mind at ease.”

_Is that really what he said?_

I don’t get a chance to say anything before Fou’s tongue licks at the red imprint left by Olga Marie’s hand. It kind of stings, but I can sense that he means well, so I gave him a few scritches behind the ear as thanks.

“Now, then, I’m off. If we’re lucky, I think we’ll meet again.” Mash doesn’t say any more after that and goes on her way, leaving me alone with Fou. I give him a few more scritches before entering my room.

The first thing I see upon entering my room is a man with peach-colored hair sitting cross-legged on my bed. He has long, fluffy haired pulled into a ponytail and is currently in the middle of eating some cake topped with strawberries. There is a tray with a small teapot and teacup at his feet, set just behind the laptop that rests on one of his legs.

_He better not spill that!_

Green eyes look away from the screen on his laptop and focus on me. His fork remains in his mouth as he stares at me, blinking a few times in confusion. From what I can tell, he certainly wasn’t expecting anyone to walk in on him like this. I know I wasn’t.

The two of us stare at each other in silence, neither of us knowing how to react. Then, after about a minute, I decided to break the silence.

“I won’t tell if you let me in on whatever it is that you’re doing.” I don’t give him time to react, choosing to instead just walk over to the bed and just crawl into the empty space that was behind him. The pillow was especially soft and the mattress firm, so I felt immediately at ease.

Meanwhile, the man reached out for the tray in front of him in order to prevent it from toppling over due to my sudden movements. His fork remained in his mouth, his body mostly tense from what could’ve happened.

“So, what are you looking at?” I glanced at his laptop’s screen, expecting a wide variety of things from a man who seemed to be in his late twenties. “If it’s porn, I don’t mind.”

He just about chokes when I say that, his fork dropping onto his lap. “I-It’s not!”

“I can certainly see that.” It looks to me like he was reading someone’s blog. “Anything good?”

“Depends if you like Magi☆Mari—wait, who are you?!” The man looked over his shoulder at me. “This is an empty room where I come to slack off! Who gave you permission to come in?!”

“Uhh, first off, I’d like to apologize for intruding on your alone time.” My offer still stands, though, if you wanna keep this a secret. “Second—I was told that this was my room. So…are you gonna share that cake or no?”

The man stares at me for a moment before handing over the plate of cake and his fork. I thank him and then quickly get to work on the cake, not really caring much about the fact that this fork was just in his mouth. Maybe if I wasn’t hungover and in desperate need for a distraction, I _might’ve_ cared about that, but right now, I was in the middle of offering Fou a strawberry.

“So the last kid finally showed up…” The man sighs in dismay and buries his face into the palm of his hand.

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m twenty…three.” There was a pause—but only because it’s barely been two months since my birthday and I still can’t get over the fact that I’m twenty-three.

_I can barely get over the fact that I’m legally an adult—what a joke!_

“Seriously?” The man stared wide-eyed at me. “You look a lot younger than that!”

“Ehh, I get that a lot.” I…still don’t know how to feel about that. I mean, I got charged as a child once at the movies, despite me paying with my freaking debit card—why would a twelve-year-old have a debit card?!

_I will never be over that…_

“So…I’m Noa.” I introduced myself in an attempt to change the subject. “And you?”

“Romani Archaman, head of the medical department,” he answered. “Though, you can just call me Roman—everyone does. It’s a lot easier to pronounce and don’t you think Roman has a nice ring to it? It sounds cool and vaguely sweet.”

Aww, he’s actually pretty cute! “Aren’t you the fluffy type? Ahaha…”

“Fluffy?” Roman furrowed his brow. “Oh, you mean my hair? I’m normally pretty busy, so I just let it grow.”

_Welp, I just dodged a bullet—now’s not the time to be flirting with people, Noa!_

“Fou!” And it seems that Fou is a tad bit jealous over that comment I just made.

“Wait, on your shoulder—is that the mysterious creature I’ve heard so much about?” Roman immediately turned his body to face me and Fou. “Whoa, nice to meet you!”

Fou doesn’t say much, choosing to instead eat another strawberry off my fork.

“Mash told me a lot about him, but I didn’t really think he existed…” Oh, so he knows Mash! “Hey, why don’t I teach him some tricks?”

Roman held out his hand to Fou, causing the little fluff ball to momentarily stop what he was doing. He sniffed at Roman’s hand a few times before looking up at him.

“Shake hand!” Roman grinned widely. “If you do it well, I’ll give you a snack.”

Fou stares at Roman for a full five seconds before going back to eating his strawberry.

“Huh, what?” A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Roman’s face. “He gave me a really pitying look and then completely ignored me…”

“To be fair, you did interrupt him while he was eating.” Most animals I know don’t like being bothered while they’re eating.

“A-Anyway!” Roman cleared his throat. “I think I get what’s going on—you’re the rookie who just got here, then got on the Director’s bad side?”

Oh _shit_ —is it that obvious?! “You just read me like a freaking book!”

_Witchcraft!_

“Then you and I are alike!” Roman smiled at me. “Just so you know, I got yelled at by her too…”

“Oh…” Well, aaayy, welcome to the club, then!

“You know the Rayshift experiment’s about to start, right?” Roman asked, earning a questioning look from me in response. “Um, the entire staff’s been sent to help out.”

“Then why are you here?” Pretty sure if you’re head of the medical department, you should be over there and not in some empty room, slacking off…

“It’s my job to look after everyone’s health.” Roman scratched the back of his head. “So I had nothing to do. The machines are more accurate at reading the vitals of the mages who are in the Coffins.”

I see, I see—wait…Coffins?

_Mages?_

_Is this some video game testing facility?_

That would explain Fou if he does happen to be some sort of Pokémon…

“The Director said, ‘When you’re here, Romani, everyone slacks off!’” Roman managed to do a decent job of impersonating Olga Marie. “Then she threw me out. So I’ve been sulking here.”

“That makes two of us.” I got thrown out for sleeping—even though it _totally_ wasn’t my fault!

_It actually is, but fuck it—she didn’t have to **slap** me!_

“Of course, then you showed up!” Roman laughed. “This is what they call a blessing in disguise, right?”

“I guess so—hey, my strawberry!” I scowled as I watched Fou take off with the last strawberry, leaving me with a strawberry-less cake. “You little shit…”

“Since we both have nowhere to go, why don’t we spend some time and deepen our friendship!” Roman suggested.

“Sure, why not?” I poked at the slice of cake, inwardly lamenting the lack of strawberries, thanks to some weird-ass Pokémon. “This is my room, anyhow.”

“Yeah, so that means I’m visiting a friend’s room!” Roman grinned widely. “Woo hoo! I’ve made a new friend!”

“Oh man, I like you already!” Friendship ended with Fou—now Roman is my best friend.

…

Roman and I spent most of our time just talking about random stuff. Though, at one point, Roman started talking to me about the structure of Chaldea. I’m pretty sure he said a lot of important information that I should likely know, but I wasn’t exactly paying attention. All it took was a few cutesy antics from Fou to distract me and now I have no fucking clue what Roman is even saying.

_Do I just…ask him to repeat himself?_

Uuuuugh, but he said so much and he’s _still_ talking!

_Just nod your head and smile—that always works!_

But for how long?! I can only pretend for so long… “How interesting.”

“It is until you get used to it.” Roman chuckled. “Let me know if you’re still having any trouble. I can tell you lost me.”

“Is it that obvious?” I frowned.

“Kinda—you did space out.” Roman placed his hand on his chin. “Hmm…Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder—am I correct?”

“Yep!” I immediately replied. “Combined subtype—includes an auditory processing disorder and rejection sensitive dysphoria!”

“That’s good to know.” Roman smiled as he patted me on the head. “It’s important for the staff to know as much as possible about our candidates—especially since I _am_ head of the medical department.”

“Hmm…” I tilted my head to the side. “Do you do prescriptions or am I presuming too much?”

If so, then that would be lovely, because I am in the middle of insurance complications for the umpteenth time involving my ADHD medication.

_Freaking thanks, new policy!_

Before Roman has a chance to answer my question, a beeping sound interrupts him. He sets down his mug of coffee on a tray and then presses a button on the bracelet he’s wearing on his left wrist. A hologram pops out, just like before, only it doesn’t have a picture and just mostly says, “SOUND ONLY.”

I can barely make out a picture of Lev from where I’m at and that’s when I hear his voice.

 ** _“Romani, we’re going to start the Rayshift soon,”_** Lev’s voice speaks out from Roman’s bracelet. **_“Could you come in case there’s an emergency. The A Team’s in perfect condition, but B Team on down is less experienced and they are displaying some slight abnormalities. It probably comes from anxiety. The inside of that Coffin is like a cockpit.”_**

“I guess I’ll give them some anesthesia,” Roman replied.

_**“Yeah, hurry up, will you? If you’re in the infirmary, then you can get here in two minutes.”** _

There’s a small beep afterwards, which signals the end of the conversation between Lev and Roman. Roman seems to be somewhat nervous, his condition made only worse when I said, “But you’re just hiding and slacking.”

“Whoa…please don’t mention that.” Roman scratched the back of his head and sighed. “It’s gonna take five minutes from here, no matter what…”

“Better get going, then.” I’d love to help out, but I have a sleeping animal on my lap.

“Well, I think they’ll forgive me for being a little late.” He smiled sheepishly. “A Team has no issues anyway. Oh, and that guy’s named Lev Lainur. He’s the mage who created the Near-Future Observation Lens, Sheba—a telescope used to observe that pseudo-planet, Chaldeas. Sheba not only observes Chaldeas, but also serves as a surveillance system for most of this facility.”

I nodded my head, even though I had no idea what Roman was talking about. All I got out of that was that Lev was a mage—I’m guessing he and Roman play _Dungeons and Dragons_ together?

“Thanks for chatting with me, Noa!” Roman smiled at me. “When you get settled in, come by the infirmary. There’ll be another slice of yummy cake with your name on it!”

“You had me a cake, Roman!” Maybe next time, I’ll get to eat the strawberries… “Huh?”

Without any warning, the lights went out.

“What’s this?” Roman was genuinely confused.

“A power outage?” Huh, just our luck…

“Chaldea shouldn’t have any power outages!” Well, then _fuck_!

**_“Emergency. Emergency. A fire has broken out in the Central Power Station and the Central Command Room. Central Area’s containment wall will activate in ninety seconds. All Staff must evacuate from Gate 2 at once. Repeat. The Central Power Station, and the Central—”_ **

“Oh _hell_ no—I didn’t sign up for this shit!” I wasn’t even sober for it!

“Fou!!” And it seems Fou just woke up—how’s it going? Oh nothing much, except that the place has just gone to hell!

“What on earth is happening?!” Roman clambers over to the door, nearly dripping over his own two feet. “Noa, we gotta get out of here now!”

“Lead the way!” Because I have no idea where I should be going and oh god, I don’t wanna die!

“Fou, Fou!!” How are you so calm, you weird-ass Pokémon?! “Fou!!”

“Oww!” Stop tugging at my hair! “What’s wrong?”

“Fou!!” Fou doesn’t seem to have any plans on leaving me alone until I find out what’s wrong with him.

…

Wait, is this about Mash?

_Shit—she said that she was part of A Team!_

“Oh my god, Mash!” That seemed to be the appropriate enough response for Fou to release my hair and just jump off of my shoulder. He cried out a few times, running around in circles before going off in a random direction.

I think he wants me to follow him…

_But the containment wall!_

BUT MASH!!!

“Aaaaugh!” I grabbed at my hair and tugged down harshly, not knowing how else I should respond to this dilemma of mine. I’m too much of a coward to even risk my own life, but even so—I like Mash! She was nice to me when I was lost and alone!

_But you barely even know her!_

Tell that to my conscience, brain!!

“What’s wrong, Noa?” Roman asked, having noticed my distress. “Are you hurt?”

“My head’s throbbing if you must know, and my conscience is currently eating away at me!” Life, death, life, death, hers, mine, hers, mine, hers—fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_! “I can’t fucking take this!”

I don’t even know how to escape from this place, so I might as well die trying to save a friend instead of dying alone because I got lost!

“Wait for me, Fou!!” I yelled out before going in the direction that Fou ran off in.

“What are you doing—Gate 2 is over there!” Roman called out to me before following after me. “Are you really going to come with me?”

“I don’t know!!” I wanna cry, because I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing and this hangover is seriously making everything _worse_. “I want my mommy, waaahhhh!”

And there goes whatever bit of dignity that I had left…

…

The Central Command Room was an absolute mess by the time that Roman and I got there. We were greeted immediately with a heated blast of air upon arrival. Piles of rubble covered the floor, growing only bigger and bigger with each passing moment as bits and pieces of the ceiling came down from above. Smoke filled the air, making it increasingly difficult to even breathe.

“Fou!!” Fou called out.

“Mash, are you here?!” I yelled out before breaking into coughing fit. “Oh god—hack, why did it have to be smoke?”

_I’m dying, Scoob!_

“I’d love to help out, but I can’t let the light in Chaldeas go out!” Roman wipes the sweat off his brow. “There’s still enough time for you to escape—”

_**“Containment wall will close in forty seconds. Those remaining in Central Area, evacuate immediately—”** _

“Fou!!”

“Mash!!” I yelled again, suppressing a powerful urge I had to cough. I ran in the direction where I assumed I heard Fou’s voice coming from. “Fou, do you see her, because I can’t see shit!”

I’m gonna die looking for a girl I barely even know…all because some weird-ass Pokémon told me to.

_Maybe Fou is actually Kyubey trying to get me to form a contract…_

“I’m willing to form a contract if it means not dying!” Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I could practically see my life flashing before my eyes. Oh god, is that an embarrassing moment of mine that I see?!

_Yeah, that just about did it!_

Even in death, I can’t go down in peace! “Maaaaaash! Can you hear meeeee?!”

**_“System switching to the Final Phase of Rayshift. Coordinates, AD 2004, January, 30 th, Fuyuki Japan. Laplace’s shifting protection established. Singularity’s additional factor slot secured. Unsummon Program set. Please start final adjustments.”_ **

I don’t know what the hell that’s all about, but I should probably leave before that happens. In the meantime— “Are there any survivors?!”

If I can’t find Mash, then I’ll at least try to see if there’s anyone else worth saving!

_No dead bodies, no dead bodies, no dead bodies—huurgh…!_

Whatever contents I had in my stomach were immediately emptied upon seeing the pools of blood leaking out from beneath some of the rubble. Oh god, my brain just went to an extremely bad place.

“Ulp…” This is seriously not good for my mental health. It’s bad enough already, thanks to my anxiety and depression… “Someone, anyone—are you _alive_?!”

“Fouuuu!!” That sounded close—Fou, did you find her?! “Mkyuu!”

“I’m coming Fou!” I climbed onto a pile of rubble, ignoring the nausea that was bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I nearly lost my footing a few times, my vision practically swirling with each close call thanks to a lingering sense of vertigo that would _not_ go away. As soon as I reached the top, I yelled out, “MAAAAASH!”

“S-Senpai…” I barely heard that—but it was _definitely_ there!

I jumped down, deciding that it would likely take too much time and effort to just climb down. I gritted my teeth as I landed on the floor, barely managing to maintain my balance for a few seconds before landing flat on my ass. “Aaugh…”

_Could be worse—I could’ve stuck the landing…_

“Everything’s spinning…” I groaned as I rubbed my temples in an attempt to ease whatever throbbing pain I could feel in my head.

“Fou!” Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Fou showed up. “Fou!!”

“I’m up—I’m up!” It took some effort, but I’m standing, okay?! “Mash, if you can hear me—say something!”

“I’m…” Mash didn’t finish her sentence, but I heard that!

“Fou!” Fou ran around in a circle a few times before dashing over to a nearby pile of rubble. That’s when I finally saw her…

“Mash!” I screamed.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

She was trapped from the waist down by a massive slab made out of stone. Blood was trickling down her face, which was abnormally pale. She looked so weak, so… _helpless_.

_But she’s still alive!_

“Just hang in there!” My first thought was to try and remove the slab, only— “Son of a bitch!”

_Hot, hot, hot!_

It only dawns on me now, as I covered my hands with the sleeves of my shirt, that there was a reason why one must always check the surface temperature of doors and the like when there’s a fire. Because just now, I could’ve seriously burned my hands when I touched the stone slab.

_Let’s try this again!_

Attempt #2 was going nowhere, despite the efforts I took to protect myself against the heat. The slab was just too heavy for me to lift…

_Dammit!_

“It’s all…right…” Mash choked out. “You can’t…save…me. Don’t mind me, please… Run.”

“I’m not leaving you behind to die, Mash!” I purposely ignored the pool of blood that was underneath her body, even as it stained her clothes red. “Don’t do this to me, okay?! It’s gonna be okay!”

**_“Warning all observation staff. Chaldeas’s state has changed. Now rewriting Sheba’s near-future prediction data. Unable to detect the existence of mankind. One-hundred years in the near-future on Earth. Unable to confirm human survivors. Unable to guarantee mankind’s future.”_ **

_Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!_

“Chaldeas…has turned bright red…” I don’t know what that means, Mash, but keep talking—you’re doing good! “No, never mind, that—”

“Don’t stop talking, Mash!” Please— _don’t_ … “I’ll get you out, somehow…”

**_“Central Area, sealed. 180 seconds till internal containment procedure.”_ **

“They…shut off the…the area.” Mash grimaced. “Now—Now we can’t get out…”

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

This…this is bad. This is _really_ bad… “We’ll…we’ll figure it out, ahahaha…”

Denial won’t do me any good and I know it. Even Mash can see right through me…

“Ahahaha…” I laughed weakly as I slumped down onto the floor right next to Mash. So much for being a hero…

_Now we’re both going to die…_

Why did I do that?

_I don’t know…_

Why?

_I don’t know, don’t know, don’t know…_

I don’t want to die—not like this…

_Scared, scared, scared, **scared**!_

“It’s…okay to cry, Senpai…” Mash reached out for my hand. “It’s…okay.”

**_“Coffin Vitals: Masters Baseline not reached. Rayshift requirement not met. Searching for qualifying Master… Found.”_ **

“This wasn’t supposed to happen…” My chest feels so tight…my heart feels like it’s going to explode.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

Maybe…this is all just a dream…

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

A really, **_really_** bad dream…

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

**_“Candidate No. 48, Noa—reset as Master.”_ **

None of this is real—it’s all just a dream…right?

_Then why does my chest hurt so much?_

“I’m sorry, Mash…I’m so, _so_ sorry…” I wiped away the tears in my eyes, no longer able to suppress the urge I had to cry. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything…”

_I’m sorry for being such a failure._

**_“Unsummon Program, start.”_ **

_For not being able to do much._

**_“Spiritron Conversion, start.”_ **

_For letting you die…_

“Um…Sen…pai?” Mash choked out.

_For letting myself get into this mess…_

“Would you mind…” Mash coughed, sending out a small splatter of blood. “Would you mind…holding my hand?”

I rubbed my eyes and sniffed, my gaze currently focused on the hand that Mash held out. She was shaking so much and yet…she could still find the strength to smile.

“Please…?” she all but pleaded.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

Her hand felt so cold around mine…so very, _very_ cold. Fou seemed to notice from the way he wrapped his body around our hands. He rubbed his cheek vigorously against Mash’s hand, crying out softly when her grip started to grow slack.

“It’s…okay…” Mash tried to reassure Fou. “I’m just…tired.”

I tightened my grip around Mash’s hand. “You don’t have to stay awake if you don’t want to…”

_Don’t leave me alone._

“I’ll be…okay…” I forced myself to smile at Mash.

_Please please please **please** —don’t leave me alone!_

“It’s…okay…” I choked back a sob. “I’m here…”

Mash laughed weakly. “I’m glad…that I—that I met you…Fujimaru Noa.”

**_“Rayshift starting in 3…”_ **

“Fujimaru…?” I don’t know where that came from, but I don’t have it in me to correct Mash—not when she’s like this… “Your glasses…”

They fell off…

**_“2…”_ **

I reached out and picked up Mash’s glasses with my free hand, never once letting go of her hand. Carefully, I placed them back on her face, feeling oddly at ease from doing such a simple task. A smile tugged at my mouth as I adjusted Mash’s glasses.

**_“1…”_ **

“There—all better,” I said before giving Mash’s head a few affectionate pats.

“Thank…you…” Mash smiled as she looked at me. For a brief moment, I could see my reflection in her glasses. I looked like such a mess…

**_“All procedures clear. First Order, commencing operation.”_ **

Except—I don’t remember having such short hair.

_That’s not my reflection._

I don’t remember _ever_ looking like that.

_That’s not me._

That’s the last thought I had before a spiraling blue vortex flooded my vision. And then there was nothing but darkness…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So anyways, here we have another cold-turkey SI of mine, and like SI!Kaede in _Clair de Lune_ , Noa is also hungover and pretty much _not_ okay. Like—yeah, that’s a thing.
> 
> Should also mention that there’s some memory loss going with her, which is why she doesn’t recognize anyone—except for Ozymandias, because reasons involving thirst and mostly for the fact that he happens to be my first 5* Servant that I managed to pull not just once—but _twice_ in a single 10-pull.
> 
> I am very proud of that pull and am _super_ glad that I managed to get him before the end of his rate-up…anyways! You know the drill when it comes to my SI/SIOCs—ADHD, depression, and anxiety are always a given, considering that that’s what I have! There’s also more where that came from, but I’ll get into it eventually.
> 
> So, like…I got warned ahead of time of how _Fate_ fics are, so if you have any issues with my fic—I don’t really give a shit. Just drop it, because I’m not in any mood to deal with assholes trying to ruin my fun. I pretty much started this fic after a very upsetting situation involving my boss taking her dog back from me because of the fact that she managed to run away while she was in my care—never mind the fact that the dog was now mine, because she was given to me…
> 
> I am still very upset about that, but I’ve moved on…somewhat. Anyways, that thing about me crashing a car into a tree was an actual thing that happened to me near the end of May—I’m fine by the way and so was the tree, but the car?? Ahahaha, nope—it’s gone for good!
> 
> And yes, my siblings have been joking about it. It’s annoying, but I can live with it…and as a reminder, NO SPOILERS AFTER CAMELOT! I’m being serious about that, because I _really_ hate spoilers when it comes to things I am thoroughly invested in…
> 
> Having said that, I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter! I’m honestly surprised it ended up as long as it did, but that just goes to show how invested I am in this fic, so let’s hope for the best! Until next time, everyone!


	2. Caster and Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by: [You Gotta Party Hearty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928299/chapters/34583714)
> 
> A Fate/Zero and Hellsing Ultimate Abridged fic that I highly recommend because it certainly put me in such a mood that THIS chapter came out fast! It's especially great if you need a laugh, so have fun!!

You know, I always wondered what was after death. Apparently, it’s just an eternity in the void—or so I assumed from the endless darkness that’s all around me. Either way, it’s pretty boring.

_Maybe this is actually Hell…_

“Kyuu…Kyuu!” Thankfully, the void decided to talk back after like…I don’t know, maybe an hour?

_Could be longer._

“Kyuu… Fou!!”

However long it took, it didn’t matter, because I soon became increasingly aware of something wet pressing against my cheek.

_Did—did something just lick me?!_

And that’s when the pain started to sink in, making me regret _everything_.

_Oh god, this really **is** Hell!_

Before I had a chance to start panicking, a very familiar voice reached my ears. “Senpai—please wake up!”

_M…Mash? Is that you?_

A hand grabs onto my shoulder and shakes me a few times. Slowly, the darkness begins to fade, but my mind wavers between a state of haziness and clarity, making it difficult for me to even think straight.

_Probably because you’re not straight in the first place._

Shut up, brain—now’s not the time to make jokes! God dammit, why is it so hard to open my eyes?!

“Won’t wake up…” I’m _trying_ , but my eyes just feel so heavy…just give me five more minutes. “Maybe I should use the official title…”

I don’t know what that means, but whatever I hear next does an absolutely _great_ job in waking me up.

“Master, please wake up. If you don’t wake up, I will kill you.”

And just like that—I’m awake…and so is my anxiety, deciding that it has a good enough reason to fuck up whatever was left of my day. I forced my eyes open, immediately finding myself face to face with the girl that I risked my life to save.

_Mash!!_

“You’re alive!” I blurted out, immediately sitting up so that I could give her a hug. The sudden action causes a squeak to leave her mouth, but she does nothing to push me away. “You’re…alive…”

Haaa, I feel so lightheaded!!

“Thank goodness you’re awake now, Senpai!” Mash smiled at me. “I’m so glad you’re safe…”

Oh my god—I’m _not_ a failure!

_I wanna cry!_

“Waaaahh, Maaaaash!!” I last a total of five seconds before I just burst into tears. “I thought you were _deeeeaaaad_!”

Mash laughs awkwardly, likely not knowing how to react to my emotional outburst. I don’t blame her. “As you can see—I’m alive and well.”

“I’m so glaaaaaad!” I cried out, taking a moment to wipe my eyes on the back of my sleeve. “Mash…did you really say you were gonna kill me?”

_Oh shit—that was actually a thing._

“Umm…” A light blush dusted Mash’s cheeks. “That came out wrong…What I meant to say was that you’re going to be killed.”

I blinked a few times. “Mash…that doesn’t sound any better—when did you change your clothes?”

It takes me a minute, but I finally noticed the outfit that Mash was now wearing. It was mostly black in color, with purple accents here and there. It was also rather formfitting and somewhat revealing, though that wasn’t my main issue with it. Instead…

_Is that supposed to be a boob plate?!_

Without even thinking twice about it, I poked at Mash’s chest and confirmed that yes—that is indeed a boob plate. Somehow, in the span of time I was unconscious, Mash managed to find and change into a set of armor of the seemingly impractical kind.

“Is that even comfortable?!” I continued poking at Mash’s chest.

“Umm…it’s fine…” Mash swatted my hand away. “Please don’t do that, Senpai.”

“S-Sorry!” My face heated up from embarrassment. “I’m just—so confused.”

Nothing makes sense right now…and where the hell are we? Why is it so hot?!

“Hyyeek?!” A loud scream rips itself out of my throat when Mash suddenly drops what looks to be a _massive_ shield in front of us.

_BAM!_

“Don’t move!” That’s the only warning I get from Mash before we were bombarded with red arrows. Fou jumped into my lap for safety, narrowly avoiding death from a stray arrow that struck the asphalt he was standing on. The arrow had enough destructive power to leave behind a deep crater, which was a good enough explanation for me to understand _why_ Mash didn’t want me moving.

_Fucking hell!_

The noise was deafening, making my head throb violently in protest and making me regret my life choices.

_This is the worst time to be hungover!!_

Orange sparks were sent flying outwards from Mash’s shield as dust and smoke filled the air. Soon, it was pretty difficult to see _anything_ , but the arrows just kept coming and coming! Eventually, they stopped, and we came out completely unharmed. It’s a shame that the same cannot be said about the ground around us, because all that was left was a massive crater.

“Yikes…” I made a face. Like—that could’ve been us if Mash didn’t have such a massive shield… “Where did you even get that?”

The shield was about as tall as she was, with a cross-like shape to it. It seemed pretty heavy, but Mash didn’t appear to have any issues with its weight…

“Geez, you’re strong…” I’m honestly jealous…

“Umm…” Mash stood up, using her shield to support her weight. “That’s—!”

A loud scream cut Mash off, effectively shifting her attention elsewhere. I looked in her direction, finally realizing the state of my surroundings. We were in a city that was completely in ruins…

_Holy shit, it’s every post-apocalyptic setting ever!_

Smashed cars lined the streets and piles of rubble covered the ground. Buildings were absolutely trashed and most things, if not _everything_ , were on fire.

_So that’s why it’s so hot!_

I yelped when Mash suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me up into a standing position. As soon as she was certain that I wasn’t going to fall down, she let go and started brushing off the dirt on my clothes.

“Are you okay?” she finally asked. “Nothing’s hurting, right? Can you walk?”

“I’m fine!” I assured her, deciding to keep quiet about my massive hangover. “But shouldn’t we go investigate that scream?”

_I’m pretty sure that was the Director…_

And I’m right on the money when Mash barely makes it in time to protect Olga Marie from an army of _skeletons_.

“What the fuck?!” Out of everything that I could possibly come across in a post-apocalyptic setting, living skeletons were the last thing I would _ever_ expect. Where are the zombies?!

_Actually—let’s not bring in the zombies…_

The world’s gone to hell already, let’s not make it any worse…

“Heeeyyy!” While Mash fights off a wave of skeletons, I might as well go check on Olga Marie. “You okay?”

Olga Marie was sitting on the ground, her eyes glistening with unshed tears and her body still trembling from fear. “Wh-Wha…?”

She was an absolute mess…but she quickly recovered upon seeing that it was _me_ , of all people, who was going to her side.

_Bet you regret slapping me now, huh?_

“I’m fine!” she insisted, her face somewhat red from embarrassment. She wiped her face a few times and then got up after slapping my hand away. “I just fell…!”

“Uh-huh…” I know a tsundere when I see one, so I’m just gonna…leave her alone before she slaps me again. “Mash is really strong, huh, Fou?”

Fou just cried out in response before hopping over to my other shoulder. “Fou!!”

_At least one of us is having fun…_

I’ve seen better days, but at least I’m not breaking down. Meanwhile, Mash is having a blast just fighting off skeleton after skeleton. She moves so skillfully for someone who acted so inexperienced. And while she was outnumbered, she still managed to take down every skeleton that headed her way. Every so often, she would swing her shield around in order to throw off any nearby skeletons. This girl was leaving behind _craters_ each time she slammed her shield down onto a skeleton.

“Hot damn…” I think I’m in love…

_Ba-dump!_

_Welp, I’m boned._

When Mash finished clearing the area of every skeleton that was in sight, she ran over to Olga Marie and asked, “Are you okay, Director?”

Olga Marie stared wide-eyed at Mash. “Wha—What’s going on?”

“Director…?” Mash furrowed her brow. “About my situation… I know it’s hard to believe but the truth is—”

“A Demi-Servant, right?” Olga Marie cut Mash off before she had a chance to explain herself. “It’s pretty obvious that you fused with a Servant—what I want to know is why it’s successful now all of a sudden!”

Obvious to you, maybe, but to me—I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. “I thought she was an intern…”

“She’s _not_!” Olga Marie said curtly, jerking her head toward me. “Do you know _anything_ about Servants and Masters?”

“Uhhh…” I feel I should, but at the same time, I don’t think what I know is what you know…

“Oh, for the love of—this can’t be happening to me now.” Olga Marie held her face in the palm of her hand. “Of all the people in that group, it just _had_ to be the civilian who showed up late to my speech—how did someone like _you_ become a Master?!”

“Uhh…” I stared nervously at the accusatory finger that Olga Marie had pointed at me. “I…I’m confused.”

“Only first-class Mages can enter contracts with servants!” Olga Marie jabbed her finger into my chest. “There’s no way you could ever become a Master!”

“Look, if you’re just gonna insult me, can you _please_ save it for later?” I’m not in the mood to cry!

_Thanks, rejection-sensitive dysphoria!_

“Just…just what did you _do_ to her to have her do your bidding?!” Olga Marie tightened her hands into fists.

“I don’t know, okay?!” For the love of god, leave me the fuck alone! I know next to nothing about what’s happening right now and… “Do you have a mirror??!!”

Olga Marie’s face contorted into a scowl. She didn’t say anything, obviously still too angry to speak coherently at this point. She probably had so many things that she wanted to say to me, but instead, she chose to reach into her pocket and pull out a compact mirror. She handed it to me without saying a word and then looked away, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Thank you…” I exhaled shakily. “Let’s…just see what the damage…”

When I opened the compact mirror to take a look at my reflection, I almost screamed.

_That’s not me!!_

I definitely wasn’t hallucinating back then—because that’s _not_ my reflection!

_That’s not my face!_

Brightly-colored eyes stare back at me instead of the usual chocolate brown that I’m so used to seeing. My hair is a vibrant shade of orange instead of dark brown and is at a length far shorter than it _should_ be. I’m not as tan I should be from the time I’ve spent out under the summer sun.

_Who the hell is **this**?!_

There’s a lot more wrong with me the longer I actually _look_ at myself and not just my reflection. I don’t know when I changed into this outfit, but it’s the same one that I saw the others wearing back in the Center Command Room. I’ve also lost a lot of weight, because I am nowhere near pudgy enough to be called chubby the way I am now.

_Should I be happy about that?_

_I’m so conflicted!_

Maybe if it was actually **my** body and not someone else’s, I _might_ be happy! Instead, I’m just trying not to break down…

_Breath in…and then out…_

_Stay calm…calm… **calm** …_

“Are you okay, Master?” Mash asked, her face expressing concern.

“I’m…fine.” Oh, I am _not_ fine—this is a disaster waiting to happen! “I just…wanna cry? I think—I think I’m gonna cry…like right now.”

And _here_ come the waterworks!!

“This is the worst day **ever**!” I bawled out, not even giving a shit about how I’m crying in front of people. “I’m having such a bad time with this hangover, that it’s just…uwaahhhh! The world goes to shit, I almost die twice, I get slapped by some rude _bitch_ —”

“Excuse me?!” Olga Marie exclaims, sounding absolutely scandalized.

“I’m just having such a bad _tiiiimmme_!” I fell despondently onto my knees and started crying into my hands. If I was in my own body, _maybe_ things could have gone better—but I’m not, so I’m just…so fucking _done_. “I want my mommy, uwaaaahhhh!!”

I have no idea how long I just sat there and cried, but eventually, I stopped. At the moment, Olga Marie and Mash were in the middle of a conversation, paying no particular attention to me…for the most part. Every few seconds or so, Mash would look in my direction to check on me. She was especially relieved to see that I had stopped crying.

I still felt like shit, but otherwise, I felt a _lot_ better now that I let all of that out.

“You done crying?” Olga Marie rudely asked me.

I hiccupped and then nodded my head. “I’m good…sorry for calling you a bitch.”

I mean, she still is one, but that doesn’t give me a right to call her one when she’s justifiably pissed off at _everything_ that has happened so far. If anything, she has the right to call _me_ a bitch, because I was certainly one just a few minutes ago.

_God, everything is just **sooo** fucked up…_

But I can’t just keep crying about it! For once, I should try to act like a responsible adult—at least until we get out of this hellscape!

“So…what now?” I stood up and brushed off the dirt on my knees.

_Are they really my knees?_

They are now, so I might as well get used to them, because no amount of bitching is gonna change that anytime soon. Even though this isn’t the body I was born with, I should still _try_ to take care of it.

_Can’t make any promises, though…_

Here’s to hoping I don’t get myself killed… “Huh?”

There was a loud beeping noise that was coming from my left wrist. Apparently, I was wearing one of those bracelet things.

“Huh…” I don’t know why it took me this long to notice, but I should definitely answer that—or I can let Mash do it instead.

“Sorry, Senpai…” Mash apologized for pressing the button on my bracelet. “I wasn’t sure if you knew how to answer it…”

“It’s fine!” I assured. “It’s fine—now who is it?”

A hologram projected out of my bracelet, taking a moment to load before it showed a projection of Roman. It was fuzzy and somewhat unstable, like a television with a bad connection.

 ** _“Right, I finally got through!”_** Roman’s voice was at least audible, if a bit quiet. **_“Hello? This is Chaldea Command Room? Do you read me?”_**

I have never been more relieved to see that Roman was completely fine, if looking rather exhausted. I mean, I pretty much just left him behind when I was looking for Mash…

“This is Mash Kyrielight, a member of A Team!” Mash was quick to respond to Roman, showing no hesitation whatsoever. “At this time, I’ve completed the shift to Singularity F. I am accompanied by the Director and Fujimaru Noa.”

There’s that name again…

_Just don’t think about it— **don’t** think about it._

“Mind and body are both intact,” Mash continued before grabbing my right hand. “Rayshift compatibility, Master compatibility both satisfactory, as shown here.”

I was a little confused at first as to why Mash would be showing Roman my hand. That’s when I noticed the strange markings on the back of my hand. “What the fuck?”

“Please register Noa as an official researcher.” Mash then looked at with a smile on her face. “It’s proof of our contract, Senpai.”

“Oh…” I still don’t know what that means, but…she seems happy, so it’s probably not a bad thing. “Okay.”

 ** _“So that’s what happened to you…”_** Roman sighed in relief. **_“I’m impressed you didn’t ‘lose your existence.’ I’m really glad.”_**

“And I’m just glad you’re safe.” Because I really shouldn’t have left him behind like that. “Also, do I even want to know what you mean by that, or am I better off staying in the dark?”

 ** _“I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”_** Roman cleared his throat. **_“Anyways, I’m glad that you’re safe, too, Mash—”_**

“Hey, Romani—why have _you_ taken control?!” Olga Marie finally joined in on the conversation by interrupting Roman. “What about Lev? Where’s Lev? Put Lev on!”

 ** _“Uhhh…”_** Roman looked nervously at Olga Marie. **_“Oh right—Mash did say you were with her, too…”_**

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Olga Marie’s face contorted into a scowl. “Where’s Lev? What’s the head medic doing in charge?”

 ** _“Don’t ask me why.”_** Roman sighed as he scratched the back of his head. “ ** _I’m fully aware that I’m not cut out for this job, but…desperate times call for desperate measures, because there’s nobody else. Dr. Lev was supervising from the Command Room. There’s no way he could survive that blast…”_**

Olga Marie’s eyes widened. “Wh-Wha…are you—are you _sure_?!”

 ** _“I was in the middle of checking that out, actually…”_** Roman explained with a nervous smile. He seemed to be trying his best, now that Olga Marie was in an even worst emotional state upon hearing that Lev was dead. **_“Okay, sound off—who isn’t dead?”_**

Olga Marie’s eye twitched. “That is an entirely inappropriate way to be addressing the situation—”

Static crackled to life over the communication system, a feminine voice on the other end soon responding to Roman’s question.

 ** _“Everything’s a bit on fire, but I’m. Definitely alive. At least, for now. Kinda trapped in the security room—please send help,”_** she speaks with a strange accent, sounding especially exasperated and on the verge of tears.

 ** _“Do I have to clean THAT up too?”_** another voice speaks up—a masculine one this time.

 ** _“Ask me again in ten minutes,”_** a second masculine voice responds, which is soon accompanied by the sound of a jostling doorknob. ** _“Currently stuck in the supply closet.”_**

 ** _“Oh thank god.”_** Roman sank back into his seat. **_“That’s three down, out of…I don’t know how many.”_**

There’s a small pause before another person—likely a woman—speaks up. **_“Kitchen staff, here and—well, I’m okay. No gas leak, no fire, knives are where they should be. I’m okay.”_**

 ** _“I should tell everyone right now, that I have little to no training in surgery,”_** a third masculine voice deadpans, the voice accompanied by the sounds of someone tampering with a lock. ** _“Also, if you need me, I’m currently in the middle of helping Lumaria out—he’s stuck in a room and won’t stop complaining.”_**

 ** _“The room is filled with dead bodies, Corvin!”_** a fourth masculine voice yells, tone deeper than all the others. ** _“Not all of us are fucking necromancers, okay?!”_**

Roman was growing more and more exasperated with each person that responded to him, which quickly turned into regret when he heard, **_“I feel dead,”_** which was then followed by a, **_“Mood.”_**

 ** _“You guys are fine!”_** he blurted out. **_“I need you guys to meet me in the Command Room as soon as possible! Can you do that?”_**

There’s another pause, before Roman received a collective of weary **_“Yes…”_** as a response.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. **_“At least everyone is well enough to make jokes…by the way, Mash—what is up with that outfit?”_**

“H-Huh?!” Mash’s face lit up with a blush.

 ** _“It’s shameless!”_** Roman chastised, his expression growing stern. **_“I didn’t raise you to dress like that!”_**

Almost immediately, Roman received a response in disapproval for his comment. **_“Hey man—she can wear whatever the hell she wants!”_**

**_“Let her express herself as she pleases!”_ **

And it was at that moment, that Roman knew he fucked up as he received more and _more_ disapproving comments towards his attitude. He looked about ready to scream when my hand grabbed onto the slider hanging from my neck and started pulling downwards on my zipper. “I’ll show you shameless!”

“Senpai, _no_!” Mash’s hand shot out to keep me from unzipping my shirt.

“That is highly inappropriate!” Olga Marie all but screamed. “Roman—get a hold of the situation, _now_! I need to know about the Master candidates—the coffins!”

It takes Roman a total of three minutes to regain control on his end, looking far more exhausted than he already was after all of that. **_“Excluding Noa, the rest of the Master candidates—all forty-seven of them—are in critical condition. We’re short on medical supplies and as far as I know, only Corvin and I remain of the medical department, so we might only be able to save a few—”_**

“D-Don’t be ridiculous!” Olga Marie snapped, her hands tightening into fists. “Cryopreserve them immediately! Think about reviving them later! Your top priority right now is to make sure that they don’t die!”

 ** _“Right—the coffins have those functions!”_** Roman’s hand slapped his forehead. **_“I’ll get on it right away!”_**

And so ended the transmission, leave the rest of us alone to our thoughts. Mash still had her hand over mine, not trusting me to keep my shirt on. Olga Marie was looking quite worse for wear after all of that.

“Cryopreservation without prior consent is a crime…” Mash frowned. “Yet you made the decision right away. You put human lives ahead of your own reputation as the director.”

Olga Marie stammered. “D-Don’t be stupid! As long as they’re not dead, I can explain myself later—why else?! In the first place, forty-seven lives…There’s no way can I carry that burden!”

“I’m still alive, if that makes you feel any better…” I said.

That did nothing to improve Olga Marie’s mood. She clutched her head in her hands, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Please don’t die—I’m begging you… If only Lev were here!”

About half an hour later, Roman called back to give an update. **_“Chaldea has lost eighty percent of its functionality. There’s only so much that the remaining staff can do in their current state. It is confirmed that the surviving staff of Chaldea is less than twenty people, including me. I’m shifting available manpower to Rayshift repairs, and maintain Chaldeas’ and Sheba’s current states. As soon as external communications are back up, we’ll request supplies and start rebuilding Chaldea.”_**

“That’s fine.” Olga Marie ran her fingers through her hair, exhaling shakily afterwards. “I would’ve done the same if I were there. Ah…Romani Archaman, I don’t like it—but until I return, you’re in charge of Chaldea. Make the Rayshift repairs your top priority. We’ll be investigating this town—the Singularity F.”

“Singularity F?” What the hell is that?

“Singularity F is Fuyuki of 2004,” Mash explained to me as Roman and Olga Marie continued talking to each other. “It is the location of where the Holy Grail took place, but data shows that there is no account of a disaster of this level ever occurring in this place.”

“Wh…What’s a Holy Grail?” And why does that sound so familiar? Also— “2004?!”

_Isn’t it like 2018?!_

“A Holy Grail is a magic vessel that contains the foundation of all forms of magic.” From the way that Mash could say that with such a straight face tells me that she isn’t pulling my leg. “We are nearly thirteen years in the past, when Mages in the city of Fuyuki completed a Holy Grail, and summoned seven Heroic Spirits to activate it. The seven Masters battled it out, and in the end, the survivor obtained the Holy Grail. But the conclusion isn’t recorded…”

_Think, think, think, **think**!_

I should know why this is familiar! Come on, brain—get a grip! There is no way that this cannot be just a coincidence! I kept wracking through my piss-poor memory as Mash continued, effectively tuning her out.

_Wait—she said thirteen years…_

_Shouldn’t it be fourteen?_

“Mash—what year should it actually be?” I interrupted her in order to ask her a question.

She blinked. “It should be June of 2017…”

Oh, **lovely** —not only did I lose my body, but now I’m a year in the past!

_Fuck me sideways!_

“Fou, Fou!!” Fou cried out before licking me on the cheek.

“I’m fine—just…a bit overwhelmed,” I reassured him. Too much is happening all at once and it’s _really_ taking every fiber of my being to keep me from screaming… “Ah!”

Out of nowhere, Olga Marie just grabs me by the hand and drags me over to the nearest open space. She then releases my hand and reaches into her pocket to pull out a piece of silver-colored chalk, which she uses to draw a circle in the ground. She keeps at it until she creates some weird sort of design that has a large hexagram in the middle, decorated with a few strange sigils. At the center of it, she throws down a handful of colorful prisms that possess an almost ethereal glow.

“What is that…?” I’m not even sure what Olga Marie is doing, but since magic supposedly is a thing—I’m guessing she’s about to do some witchcraft?

_I don’t fucking know!_

Olga Marie gets up afterwards and walks over to me. She grabs me again by the hand and pulls me towards the circle, holding my right hand over the prisms in the center. Then, within the blink of an eye, I feel a sharp, burning pain in the palm of my hand as Olga Marie uses a dagger to slice my hand open, allowing blood to fall to the ground.

“Son of a _bitch_!” I screamed out, wanting to pull away as fast as possible from Olga Marie, but her grip is far too strong for me to break free. Tears weld up in the corners of my eyes as a throbbing pain engulfs my hand, giving me a vivid sense of déjà vu of the day I accidentally stabbed myself in the palm of my hand while trying to get the zip ties off of a bell collar that I bought for my cat.

“Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill.” Olga Marie ignores me, her gaze focused as she said some weird incantation of some sort. The circle on the ground began to glow as drops of blood continue to fall down and soon fill the lines. “Repeat five times. But destroy each when filled.”

A blinding white light engulfed the colorful prisms in the center of the circle, morphing together to form what appeared to be a blood-stained leaf after the light died down. The back of my hand started to sting, the markings covering it glowing in an eerie red light.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

I could hear my heart pounding within my chest, my vision blurring as another blinding wave of light engulfed the area as soon as Olga Marie finished speaking. A minute almost seems to pass before Olga Marie finally releases my hand. My legs collapsed beneath me, unable to support my weight any longer.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

All too suddenly, I was overcome with exhaustion. I felt Fou nuzzling my cheek in an attempt to comfort me. I would’ve said something, but my voice was caught in my throat, my eyes widening at the sight I saw before me. “A-Aaahhh…!”

Standing in the center of the circle, from where the bloodstained leaf once was, was a tan-skinned young man of an especially tall height, with a somewhat muscular build. His body was encased in radiant silver-woven plate armor, with a glowing cyan-colored sigil covering the exposed area of his chest. Silvery-white hair cascades down to his hips, messily strewn about in a manner that gives him a somewhat wild look. His cyan-colored eyes almost seemed to glow brightly in the light as he stared down at me.

“Saber, Siegfried,” he says in a calm tone. “I have come in response to your summon—do you need any help, Master?”

“Aaaahh, ummmm!!” I was at a loss for words, the stinging pain in my hand and exhaustion interfering with my ability to think coherently.

_Humana humana humana humana humana humana humana…_

My gaze was focused on the exposed area of his chest, finding the sight of it quiet appealing. It helped that this guy—Siegfried—was _quite_ the pretty boy. My breath hitched when Siegfried bent down and suddenly grabbed me by the back of my shirt.

“Sorry…” he apologized before lifting me up and propping me into a standing position. Afterwards, he pats me a few times on the head. “I will keep you safe—just avoid going anywhere that is directly behind me. Are we clear?”

“Y-Yes…?” Holy shit, he’s _really_ tall—my own height barely reaching the sternum of his chest.

“It seems the summoning was successful,” Olga Marie finally speaks, sighing inwardly in relief. “Now we have a Saber-class Servant to assist Mash…”

“I am Mash Kyrielight!” Mash immediately introduces herself to Siegfried. “I am also a Servant under Noa—it’s nice to meet you!”

Siegfried looks at Mash for a moment before nodding his head. “Nice to meet you, too…I suppose Noa is your name, then?”

He turns to me, waiting expectantly for an answer. “Y-Yes!”

“I am Olga Marie!” Olga Marie places her hand on her chest. “Our current objective is to discover the anomaly in this Singularity. Once we have that figured out, we are to wait for Chaldea’s restoration, so we can call in for a second team. If we are fortunate enough, then there should be a few more Servants who should have appeared alongside Saber, back in Chaldea…”

“That would explain why Senpai collapsed,” Mash remarked. “Are you sure you are okay?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah—I’m fine…”

Just a little lightheaded—but I’m otherwise fine!

“Then let’s get going!” Olga Marie exclaimed. “The longer we stick around, the more likely we are to run into danger. Noa, command your Servant to lead the way.”

“Uhh…what she said?” I’m not sure what she means by that, but Siegfried seemed to instantly obey my command, no matter how uncertain I sounded. He walked ahead, with Mash right at his side. Olga Marie follow right after them, with me soon trailing after them to avoid being left behind.

_Saber, Saber, Saber—why is that **so** familiar?_

I continued wracking my brain for any answers to this familiarity I was experiencing. It eventually reached a point where I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on, in which I ended up bumping into Siegfried’s back.

“Ah!” I yelped, Siegfried making a somewhat similar sound before firmly pushing me back. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine—try not to let it happen again.” He showed extreme discomfort from the contact we made, but otherwise, he didn’t appear to be mad. He stayed still for a moment, his gaze looking ahead at a set of chains blocking our path. Suddenly, his face contorted into a scowl as he yelled, “Master—look out!”

Mash reacted immediately by running in front of me and using her shield to defend me. The sound of metal clashing with metal reached my ears as I watched as Siegfried pulled out a massive sword from behind him in order to block off the chains that were reaching out for me. His stood his ground, eventually breaking through and slicing some of the chains in half.

“Too bad—the fresh prey got away.” A chill went up my spine as Mash wrapped her arm around me, bringing me in closer as a precaution. From the top of the riverbank, appeared a long-haired woman dressed in black who stared down at us. “An unknown Servant and an unknown Master. Ahh, how young and fresh…”

“A Servant!” Mash clenched her teeth and pushed me behind her, Siegfried soon running in front of us. She looked around, scanning the area for someone or something. “But…I don’t see her Master!”

Olga Marie pointed her finger at the woman. “This world has already gone mad. A Servant without a Master doesn’t surprise me.”

The woman in black laughed, calmly walking over to what appeared to be the stone statue of a young man. Sharp nails ran over his face, as though she was confirming this young man as someone she recognized. Nearby, were other statues of different people…

“A-Are those…?” Oh god—don’t tell me…

“Former humans,” Olga Marie confirmed the worst of my thoughts. “Looks like that Servant turned them into stone.”

“Holy shit—it’s Medusa!” I blurted the first thought that came to my head, which ended up involving the gorgon, Medusa, from Greek mythology.

“Ahahaha—how long has it been since I last heard that name?” The woman in black laughed, her hand clutching the statue’s head before breaking it off. Blood spurted out from the neck like a fountain, the head soon rolling down to my feet. “Such a smart girl!”

“Hyeek!” My arms clung tightly onto Mash’s waist, immediately using my foot to kick away the head.

“I’ve lost one statue, but now I’m going to have four new ones.” Medusa licked at the blood covering her face, which soon faded away. She laughed as she flipped her hair up with her hands, snakes shooting outwards towards us. The snakes turned into chains, trapping us in a rectangular-shaped box. “I will entangle you in my hair…!”

Then, within the blink of an eye, she disappeared. Mash kept a close eye for any sign of her, her shield still in front of both me and Olga Marie. Suddenly, a curved blade from the end of a pole swung at her. Siegfried jumped in, using his sword to immediately push back the attack.

“She is a Lancer, so I will do what I can to fight her off,” Siegfried says, his gaze focused on Medusa as she reappeared a few feet away from us. She only laughed as she brandished her lance in front of herself.

“It appears that you have the advantage…but for how long?” Medusa laughed, appearing far more amused than concerned.

“For however long I can!” Siegfried proclaimed. “Mash—take Noa and run. I’ll handle this.”

“A-Are you sure?!” Mash furrowed her brow.

Siegfried blocked off another attack from Medusa. “It will take much more than a mere Lancer to defeat me!”

“Ahh, but you better watch out~!” Medusa licked her lips. “Any wound this lance delivers cannot be healed by any means. Even if by some miracle you could completely heal your entire body, one error is all it will take to make you a failure of a Servant for the rest of your life!”

_Clang!_

This time, it was Mash to blocked off another attack from Medusa, using all her weight and strength to push Medusa away. She turned to Siegfried, her expression one of determination.

“I cannot leave you alone to fight!” she says in a firm tone. “Our duty as a Servant is to protect our Master from harm—so the two of us should be working together to do just that!”

Siegfried was astonished to hear such bold words from Mash, but he understood and nodded his head. “Very well.”

“Senpai, Director—please go somewhere safe, okay?” Mash looked at the two of us with a smile on her face. “Everything will be alright. Just trust us.”

I felt conflicted for leaving all this sort of responsibility on Mash and even Siegfried, despite saying that he would help me. Olga Marie, on the other hand, just grabbed me roughly by the hand and started pulling me towards her. “We need to leave!”

She didn’t give me time to respond as she threw me over the chains. I screamed before landing face-first into the grass, the sounds of my voice soon being muffled. I lifted my head and immediately started scrambling away from the chains that were lunging after me. Olga Marie followed right after me after effortlessly hopping over the chains.

_What the fuck—I **want** that!_

A blast of fire manages to push away the chains that were trying to sneak up on me—keyword: _Try_.

“You sure have a lot of guts,” a masculine voice speaks out in a rather amused tone. “A little girl is a little girl, but you seem pretty strong.”

“H-Huh…?” I looked up and found myself face to face with a hooded young man dressed in blue and white. He smiled at me, his red eyes almost gleaming with mirth. He then unhooded himself, revealing a rather handsome face framed with blue hair. “Aahhh…!”

_I **know** that face!_

“You too, Missy,” he says before reaching down to grab me by the back of my shirt. He uses a wooden staff to send off another blast of fire to ward off the chains that were lunging at me. Afterwards, he lifts me up and jumps back, causing me to shriek in fear. “Calm down, Missy—you’re not in any danger, y’know?”

The young man lands by Olga Marie’s side, startling her with his sudden presence.

“Wh-Who are you?!” she demands.

The young man just laughs as he carefully sets me down on the ground. “Who am I? Well, I’m Caster—Cú Chulainn, at your service.”

Cú Chulainn—I _know_ that name!!

_“First name, Mario, last name, Mario—Mario Mario.”_

_“Funny, I took you for the great Italian spearman, Cú Cu-lame.”_

Oh hell—why is _that_ the most vivid memory I have of that series?!! “Why aren’t you a Lancer?!”

I pointed an accusatory finger at the Caster, who just laughed at me. Everything about him doesn’t match up to the memory I have of him—where’s the blue bodysuit and the red spear?!

“I don’t know, Missy—but I would’ve loved to have been summoned as a Lancer.” Caster knelt down to give me a few pats on the head like one would do to a puppy. “I like you already—how about we form a temporary contract?”

“Why are you siding with her?!” Medusa yells out at Caster.

Caster scowls at Medusa, his amusement immediately fading from his expression. “Because it’s better than being on your side, of course!”

_Ba-dump!_

_Oh god, why—be **still** , my heart!_

Caster held out his hand and moved it in front of him, creating a set of glowing runes that sent out a wave of fireballs at Medusa. The fireballs hit her directly, without much room for her to dodge, creating a huge explosion that breaks the wall of chains around Siegfried and Mash. As soon as the smoke cleared, Medusa’s limp figure could be seen lying on the ground.

“The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my ally, but for now, you can trust me.” Caster’s hand landed on my head again, his fingers soon ruffling my hair. “Get in position, young lady.”

Mash immediately responded by holding up her shield. Siegfried lowered his sword, deciding to take the moment to assess the situation. I looked over at Olga Marie and mouthed at her, “Help me.”

She just scowled and looked away. “You’re fine!”

“Skill aside, your courage is second to none!” Caster smiled at Mash, who just responded with a quick, “Thank you!”

Siegfried put away his sword in the sheath the was on his back. He made his way over to Caster and me, his gaze still focused completely on Caster. He pauses for a moment to think before unsheathing his sword again, his blade aimed at Medusa, who had gotten up.

“Nice reflexes!” Caster commends Siegfried.

“Thank you for protecting our Master,” Siegfried finally says. “I trust that you are now on our side?”

“If only for the young lady’s bravery and the Missy’s personality.” Caster grins widely.

“I guess that means I can kill you earlier than planned,” Medusa remarks as a sinister smile crosses her face. “I’ll take you while you’re still flesh and blood.”

She twirled her lance around, soon bringing it down in our direction, sending out a barrage of chains our way. Siegfried reacts by using his blade to cut them down, allowing Caster a chance to prepare for battle. He hands me over to Mash and then jumps down the bank to join Siegfried. There’s a moment where he leans in to whisper something into Siegfried’s ear before the two jumped out of the way to avoid Medusa’s chains.

Medusa followed after them, ignoring us as she continued sending chains at Siegfried and Caster. Every so often, Siegfried would cut down a wave of chains with his sword, while Caster continued to dodge them, having little to no time to do anything else. Eventually, it appeared that Medusa had Caster cornered, while Siegfried was occupied with breaking her chains.

“This is what you get for opening your big mouth!” Medusa laughed.

Caster smirked. “Now!”

“Mash, go!” Siegfried appeared by Mash’s side and lifted her over his head before throwing her in Caster’s direction.

Mash didn’t know how to react at first, but understood the gist of the situation as she landed on the ground. She gritted her then and then hurled her shield at Caster, muttering a few words under her breath as she did. The shield managed to land right in front of Caster, effectively blocking off Medusa’s lance. The shield almost seemed to glow with a mysterious light as it did, sending a shockwave in response to the contact it made with the lance.

“Why, you—!” Medusa scowled as she jumped back, landing just a few feet away from Caster.

Caster peered out from behind Mash’s shield, grinning widely as he revealed, “I don’t need to chant a spell to use runes. Go back to school, ya dimwit!”

Caster held out his hand, revealing a rune that was set underneath Medusa. She looked down, her eyes widening in shock as a pillar of fire soon engulfed her entire being. She screamed out in pain, unable to maintain her composure. When the flames had gone, she staggered, struggling to stay on her two feet. She clenched her teeth and held out her lance, still showing that she had to will to continue fighting. It didn’t do her any good as Caster summoned another wave of runes and sent more fireballs at Medusa.

Without any energy to dodge, the fireballs hit Medusa directly, creating a massive explosion that set her ablaze. Once the smoke had cleared, Medusa could only stand still as the flames continued to consume her body. That’s when her body began to fade away in a glowing light, her expression of despair being the last thing any of us would ever see of her.

“That’s one down!” Caster grinned.

“Thank you!” Mash tells him as she walked by him in order to get her shield back. She pulled it out of the ground with such ease and then turned around to bow at Caster. “You helped us out before the situation could escalate in any way!”

Caster leaned in and wrapped his arm around Mash’s shoulders. “We were saved because of your support, so don’t worry about it!”

He pulled her in closer, his hand rubbing his shoulder as he winked at her in a somewhat suggestive manner.

“Hey—hands off my friend!” I yelled out before lunging at him. I had intended to tackle him, but he managed to just put his hand on my forehead and keep me at an arm’s length distance away from me.

“I appreciate your enthusiasm!” he laughed, sounding far too amused for my comfort. He let go only when Fou started hissing at him from the top of my head. “Ahahaha—I guess I’ll keep my hands to myself, then! The young lady has a fine body, but you’re not so bad on the eyes, either!”

_What the fuck?!_

Fou hopped down onto my shoulder and rubbed his cheek against mine. “Fou!”

“That’s one sexual-harassing old pervert,” Olga Marie just sighed. She held up her wrist and pressed a button. “What do you make of this, Romani?”

A projection of Roman appeared before us, his head currently held between his hands and his expression one of pure exhaustion as he dealt with a wide array of voices just yelling at him.

**_“I'm just the person they got to watch the security feed at night!! I'm just the stupid watchman!! I just_ watch _things!!_ _"_**

**_“Everyone I knew, and love is DEAD!”_ **

**_“I’m still trapped in the supply closet!”_ **

**_“Why is it the crazy ones that survive…?”_** Roman muttered under his breath. **_“H-Huh…? Oh—hello! What is it that you need?”_**

Olga Marie gestured at Siegfried and Caster. “Not too long ago, I managed to successfully help Noa summon another Servant. Fortunately, it seems another one decided to enter a contract with her—any signs of any more Servants at Chaldea?”

 ** _“Uhhh…”_** Roman looked away as he watched a hooded figure in green spinning around in a chair right by him. **_“I got one confirmed—he still hasn’t given me a name, but he appears to be of the Archer class. There might be more where he came from, but it’s still too soon to tell.”_**

 ** _“Hey—are you my Master?”_** The hooded figure looked in my direction, his finger pointed at me.

“Uhhhh…” I blanked out for the moment, not knowing how to react to that question. “I…think?”

 ** _“Archer class—Robin Hood,”_** he tells me, momentarily removing his hood to reveal a mess of spiky, orange hair and a grey-green eye that peeked out from behind his bangs. He grins at me for a moment before hiding his face underneath his hood. **_“Now that I’m summoned, I’ll work…in my own way.”_**

He chuckles before returning to spinning in his chair.

 ** _“Damn Independent Action…”_** Roman swore as he scratched the back of his head. **_“When you return, Noa—try to see if you can get him under control.”_**

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I tugged down harshly on my hair. “Everything is coming at me far too quickly for me to think!”

I only just recently figured out that I’m in a fucking series that I vaguely remember dabbling in—although, I don’t _think_ this is _Fate/Stay Night_. Might be related, but the situation itself doesn’t match up with what I remember. I mean, for some fucking reason, Cú is a Caster instead of a Lancer and though my memory is especially shitty, I do recall that Saber was a young woman with blonde hair.

_Not that I’m complaining about Siegfried…_

Shut up, brain—now’s not the time to be enjoying the view!

 ** _“So…may I ask what’s the situation—Caster, is it?”_** Roman asks Caster.

“Is that some means of communication through Magecraft?” Caster points his finger at Roman’s projection.

Roman blinked, but then bows his head respectfully. **_“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Heroic Spirit, I don’t know where you hailed from, but it’s an honor—”_**

“Spare me your comments, weakling!” Caster cut Roman off after turning his back to him. “State your business…”

 ** _“Ahh, fine…”_** A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Roman’s face. **_“I got called a weakling by someone who I just met for the first time…”_**

“Hey—don’t be rude to my friend!” I tried to slap Caster, only for him to catch my hand before it hit him.

“I appreciate your concern for your friend, Missy.” Caster grinned. “Though, I’d worry more about yourself, with how small you are.”

Caster was almost as tall as Siegfried, which of course, meant that I was shorter than him—how fucking tall am I in this form?!

_Not tall enough!_

“Hhhh— _Siegfried_!!!” I yelled out, my face burning red from embarrassment.

Within the span of a few seconds, Siegfried came in and roughly pushed Caster to the ground.

_Thud!_

“Are you alright, Master?” Siegfried asks me, looking over me for any abnormalities.

“I-I’m fine—oh shit!” I looked down at Caster. “Uhh…are you okay?”

“I’m doing absolutely fine, Missy!” he laughs, sounding genuinely amused and not offended in any way. “Oi—Missy’s friend!”

 ** _“Ahh—yes!”_** Roman exclaimed.

“Tell me of the situation—I’m all ears,” Caster said as he got up.

 ** _“Understood!”_** Roman nodded his head.

“Before that, I think we should head elsewhere to stay out of sight…” Caster gestured at us. “Follow me—I know a place.”

Without any of us saying another word, we followed after Caster. Siegfried took the lead, as usual, with Mash still at his side. I was by Olga Marie, who still seemed rather irritated with my presence. Honestly, things could be worse…

_Oh, who am I kidding—the most I even remember about this series is from an abridged version of the show!_

I’m pretty sure _Unlimited Blade Works_ is a different route anyways, which is effectively **useless** in this situation!

_Why couldn’t this be **Fate/Zero**?!_

I sighed in exasperation, earning a strange look from Olga Marie. If she knew what I knew, then she’d understand…

_Fuck my life!_

…

…

As Roman explained the situation to Caster, I stood behind Mash and Siegfried, the two especially wary of Caster. Siegfried seemed to be ignoring his discomfort for having me so close to his back in order to ensure that I was safe. As for Olga Marie, she just had her arms crossed over her chest, just listening intently for any discrepancies that Roman could have potentially told Caster. We were no longer in the same area as before, all of us now standing underneath a bridge out of sight for our own safety.

 ** _“Currently, Noa is the acting Master and is in the middle of conduction field research,”_** Roman continued. **_“Let me confirm something. You’re a Servant from the Holy Grail War that broke out in this city, and the sole survivor?”_**

“If by that you mean I haven’t lost,” Caster replied. “Our Holy Grail War changed to something else entirely along the way.”

“Changed?” Olga Marie said questioningly.

“I don’t know the details myself,” Caster admitted as he leaned back onto the railing behind him. “Overnight, the town was blanketed with fire, humans had disappeared, and only Servants remained. Saber was the first to start up the Holy Grail War again. That one has gone on a rampage with relish, like a tiger released from its cage. Saber has defeated Archer, Lancer, Rider, Berserker, and Assassin.”

“Hey—isn’t he supposed to be a Lancer?” I asked Roman, not thinking twice about the fact that I just interrupted Caster. “He said his name is Cú Chulainn.”

 ** _“From what I know—he should be.”_** Roman scratched his head. **_“Didn’t take you for someone who knew her Servants.”_**

“I don’t—I just know **him**!” I pointed at Caster. “And he isn’t _anything_ that I remember about the Lancer he should be!”

Caster just laughed. “As you can see, Lancer was someone else entirely in this situation. The defeated Servants became corrupted by a dark shadow, not unlike her. I also managed to take down Rider and Assassin before they encountered you. As for Berserker…I don’t think he’ll attack us, so long as he’s left alone.”

“How comforting…” What’s to say we won’t come across him by accident? I don’t like the sound of the name, Berserker…

_I’m starting to hate that all I can remember of this series is from an abridged series on the internet…_

**_“So if we defeat the last remaining Servant…”_** Roman began.

“The Holy Grail War will be over,” Caster finished for him.

“There’s a high likelihood of settling the abnormality in this Singularity, too,” Olga Marie commented. “Do you happen to know where that is?”

“Yeah.” Caster turned his head, directing our attention to whatever it was that he was looking at. “At the heart of this land. They’re protecting it…the corrupted Grail.”

“I guess that means we’re headed over yonder…” I sighed in exasperation. Not a fan of risking my life, but I guess things will only worsen if we don’t do something about it.

“Right you are, Missy!” Caster grinned at me, causing me to hide behind Mash’s shield. “I’ll take care of that Archer bastard. I need to settle things between us—once and for all.”

“So…” Olga Marie crossed one leg over the other. “You really don’t mind helping us? Even though you hardly know anything about our situation?”

Caster waved his hand. “No, I don’t mind. Don’t worry about it.”

He says that, but I’m still worrying about it…

…

“I don’t get deeply involved with things outside of my own time period,” Caster explained as he showed us the way through the burning city of Fuyuki. “At the end of the day, I cooperate as a weapon. That’s the Servant Golden Rule.”

Caster kept fading in and out, always appearing ahead of us as we followed after him. It’s honestly such a neat ability, because my legs are really starting to get sore from all this walking…

“My purpose is drawing the Holy Grail War to a close.” Caster appeared at the top of a broken off road, offering his hand to Olga Marie as she neared him. “Our interests line up. Why not join forces in a jovial manner?”

Olga Marie just stared at Caster’s hand, likely debating whether or not she should accept his help. “That’s a logical decision.”

Having said that, she accepted Caster’s hand. Caster effortlessly pulled her up, catching her completely by surprise with his strength as he set her down by his side. He tried to do the same with me, offering his hand, but Mash reacted by picking me up in her arms and jumping up, landing right next to Olga Marie.

“Careful, Senpai…” she told me as she carefully set me down.

Siegfried joined us right after, having no difficulty whatsoever. “Sorry…”

“For what?” I looked questioningly at Siegfried.

“For letting Mash do all the work,” he answered.

“Tch—Sieg, please!” You don’t have to be sorry, dammit!

Siegfried blinked and then nodded his head. “Yes.”

“Still, it’s unusual.” Caster leaned in closely to Olga Marie’s face, his hand going to his chin. “You don’t have the potential to be a Master?”

Olga Marie’s face contorted into a scowl as she used both of her hands to push Caster away. “And what of it?!”

Caster sighed, having somewhat expected her to react that way. “I mean, you’re a first-class Mage. You just don’t have the potential to be a Master…is it a curse?”

That would explain why she was pissed off at me…

I’m guessing it’s like with Rin and Shirou? Wait—does that make me Shirou in this situation?!

_Bone of my sword…_

I snorted as a very _hilarious_ image popped into my head, reminding me that _Fate/Stay Night_ was an eroge.

_Such terrible sex scenes…pfft._

“What’s so funny?!” Olga Marie snapped.

“I’m sorry—I just remembered something funny!” Oh god—get out of my head, _please_! Ahahaha… “Ehehehe!”

“Geez, you’ve got a first-class stubborn streak too—nothing like Missy, here.” Caster sighed.

“What was that?!” Olga Marie’s hands balled up into fists.

“Oh, you just wait!” You haven’t seen me when I’m stubborn! “Ha…are you okay, Mash?”

It took me a bit, but I just noticed how down in the dumps Mash is…

“Fou!” Even Fou seemed to notice, from the way he just rubbed his head against Mash’s cheek.

“Thanks, Fou…” Mash gave him a small smile.

“I think I know what it is…” Olga Marie crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t use your Noble Phantasm.”

And just like that, my brain just short-circuited. “A wha…?”

“They’re weapons that a Servant uses,” Olga Marie explained, still sounding especially annoyed at how little I actually knew.

“But isn’t her weapon a shield?” I pointed at it.

“Umm…it still hasn’t shown me its true form yet.” Mash frowned.

Olga Marie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “You said you didn’t know what kind of Servant you merged with, so I figured that this was the issue…oi—Saber!”

“Yes?” Siegfried looked at Olga Marie.

“You can use your Noble Phantasm, yes?” she asked, placing one hand on her hip.

“Yes.” Siegfried nodded before pulling out his sword. “When I am prepared, I will use it…”

“I’m sorry that I can’t do the same…” Mash looked down.

“It’s not all your responsibility.” Olga Marie turned to me. “An outstanding Master should be able to analyze the Servant with whom they have a contract with.”

_Oh, you bitch—I see what you’re doing!_

“And how do you suppose I do _that_?!” I glared angrily at Olga Marie, yelping loudly when she suddenly pinched my cheek. “Ow, ow, ow!!”

“Don’t be so sassy when your level is so low!” Olga Marie scolded me, her fingers adding more force to her pinching.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow—I’m sorry, okay?!” I tried my best to pull her hand off of my cheek, but she was a lot stronger than she looked… She was also a lot taller…

_Why the hell am I so short?!_

“Sorry for interrupting the fun…” Thankfully, Caster’s sudden remark caught Olga Marie by surprise, giving me enough room to escape. Immediately ran behind Siegfried, who just stayed still, obviously uncomfortable with how close I was to his back.

“Sorry, Sieg—I’ll make it up to you!” Somehow…

“Its’s…fine,” Siegfried says through strained teeth. “Just don’t touch…okay?”

“A Noble Phantasm is about instinct,” Caster explained as he pointed at Siegfried and me. “If something happens that calls upon that instinct…it will awaken naturally.”

“I don’t like the look of those eyes…” Oh nonononono…

Almost immediately, Siegfried brandished his sword and Mash got in front of him, shield held up in front of her. Even Olga Marie was on my side from the way she stood in front of all of us, her arms held out.

A minute passed, and no one said a word… All of a sudden, Caster smiled and chuckled before fading away out of sight. Olga Marie sighed in relief as soon as she was sure he was out of sight.

“I’m tired,” she said. “Let’s rest up ahead…”

“Hyeek!” Without even saying anything, Siegfried grabbed me by the back of my shirt and lifted me off the ground.

“Sorry, but…you seem tired.” He sheathed his sword and then sat me down on his shoulders. My hands gripped his hair, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. “This is better than keeping you behind me.”

An incoherent string of words escaped my mouth, my face currently red as a tomato.

_How the fuck is he that strong?!_

“Thank you, Siegfried.” Mash bowed respectfully at Siegfried. “I would’ve asked, but I wasn’t so sure…”

“When we arrive, you rest up as well,” Siegfried told her.

Mash blinked. “Y-Yes…”

Siegfried grunted and just started walking, following after Olga Marie as she trailed behind Caster. Mash stayed by his side as usual, having grown used to his presence while I was still having issues myself.

…

We eventually arrived to abandoned school, where I…kinda fell asleep. I pretty much woke up with Mash leaning on my shoulder, her face looking so peaceful as she dreamed on… Fou was curled up in her lap while Siegfried was watching the door.

“Where’s…?” A yawn interrupted me.

“They’re on the rooftop,” Siegfried replied. “Do you need something?”

“Hmmm…” I forced myself to stand up, feeling a certain urge that I needed to attend to before things got out of hand. “I’ll just…be right back.”

_Now where’s the fucking restroom?_

Fortunately, the restrooms were up and running, so I was able to do my business in peace. I had to dry my hands on my shirt, though, since there were no paper towels.

_Whatever…_

I sighed as I left the restroom, not really giving a damn that I was in the boy’s restroom. I don’t know exactly what went on, but the girl’s restroom was completely out of order in the sense that it was caved in.

_This school got hit hard…_

“Time to head back to…huh?” I froze still at a sudden sound I heard coming from a classroom down the hallway. “Uhhh…hello?”

And like an idiot, I made a stupid mistake that might as well would’ve cost me my life, because the next thing I knew, the classroom fucking exploded as an enormous man with an extremely muscular build crashed through, practically roaring as he looked around the area. He froze still upon seeing me.

_Oh hell—that’s Berserker._

When he started roaring, I started screaming and bolted down the stairs, wanting to get as far away as possible from the impending threat that was Berserker.

“This is not welcomed in a school _environmeeeeeeeeent_!!!” I screamed as I jumped down a hole to avoid Berserker’s massive sword as he charged at me.

_I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die!_

“Why do I suck at running?!” I could feel my legs wanting to give out at any second. It seriously didn’t help that I kinda stuck the landing, there. But I couldn’t stop now!

_Let’s get ready to die, get ready to die~!_

I bit back a shriek when a desk crashed through the ceiling from the floor above me. An unearthly roar followed after and upon hearing that, I decided now was a good time as any to JUMP OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW!

“Hyeek!” I shielded my face and crashed through the window, managing to land in a couple of bushes below me. It was a rather rough landing, considering I was on the second floor of this building. Still, I managed to do a good job of at least throwing off Berserker…for now.

Carefully, I crawled through the bushes, hoping to avoid Berserker’s gaze as long as possible—at least until Caster, Mash, or Siegfried arrived.

_Where the hell are they?!_

Tears were streaming down my cheek as I continued crawling, my voice dying down in my throat when Berserker suddenly came down from above. He landed right in front of me, just barely missing me. I am so glad that I already went to the restroom before all this went down…

_I can’t feel my legs…_

I could feel my vision beginning to blur, my head growing light from the lack of oxygen I was intaking from holding my breath for so long. I honestly didn’t want to risk it, with Berserker standing so fucking _close_. I watched him carefully, hoping that he would just give up and go on his way…

Fortunately, for me, he did before I passed out from oxygen deprivation. I had to keep myself from gasping out, slowly breathing in and then out. I felt somewhat woozy, but I moved onwards, trying to see if I could find a nearby open window that I could crawl through before Berserker came back. I managed, landing in a somewhat pained heap on the floor after I climbed through the window. I kept crawling from there on, not wanting to risk being seen as Berserker likely roamed the outside of the school.

_Gotta get…to Mash…!_

I was so close to the stairs—so fucking close!!

_Almost…there!_

That’s when a car suddenly crashed through the building and my vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM—cliffhanger! You have  **Alicitzen**  to blame for that and holy shit, fucking 10K+ words! I am REALLY invested in this fic, holy SHIT! Anyways, should also mention that while Noa or rather, Goa (FGoa/Gudako!Goa), is pretty much taking the form of Gudako, there are some differences between her and the original to set them apart. First of all, Goa is a lot shorter, like…150 cm (which is about 4'11"), which was due to a joke made in the Gacha Meme Hell discord. She's also nowhere near as busty as the original, which is  _why_  Goa hasn't made any comments about the boobs like she did as SI!Kaede in  _Clair de Lune_.
> 
> By the by, like me, Goa isn't straight—so that's a thing. Get used to it, since I'm pretty sure that only a small handful of Servants in this game are even straight. Also, starting Servant is Siegfried, and Robin Hood and the other servants that were summoned are in Chaldea. Siegfried is in fact my starting Servant in my alt account TWICE.
> 
> I rerolled after my first try to see if I could get a better starting Servant while I was waiting for my new tablet to come in and for my recovery code for my original account to be emailed to me, but decided to stick with Siegfried since he came home twice, with a lot of Servants who I had in my original account.
> 
> Original account starter Servant was Liz, but I haven't been using her, much to  **Alicitzen** 's annoyance, because I ended up focusing on Hektor and, later one, Cú Chulainn—both original and Prototype. Don't worry—she's not completely excluded from this fic…just give it some time, yeah? I just went with Siegfried because he was genuinely the first  _good_  Saber I got in my main account that I can depend on (I don't count Caesar and Gilles). Of course, now I have Lancelot and, just recently, Rama…but Siegfried is still my second max ascended Servant (the first of my Sabers).
> 
> Goa also figured out the series she's in…sort of. She's on the right track, but not necessarily. Just to let you guys know, her memory of  _Fate/Grand Order_  is mostly blank and the gaps in her memory will fill in as she continues through the story, but it only goes up to Camelot, so otherwise…it's' kinda pointless.
> 
> I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying this fic so far and many thanks to the guys in the Gacha Meme Hell discord for helping me out with this fic! I'm really happy that I got this chapter out so fast, so don't be shy if you wanna leave a comment or something!
> 
> Please, I crave validation… welp, until next time!


	3. Lingerie and Liabilities

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed is that, holy _shit_ —I’m alive.

_How?_

My body feels heavy and my head just won’t stop spinning… “Uuurgh…”

Everything _hurts_ , and I want to **die** …not literally, of course.

_We’re **beyond** that train of thought!_

I just want everything to _stop_ for like…I dunno, maybe a day or two? However long it takes for this pain to go away and for my ears to stop ringing…

_What is that noise?!_

It sounds like someone’s trying to kick down a door… That’s when I slowly became aware of the scene before me.

_Mash?_

It all came back to me—about what had happened before I blacked out. I remembered Berserker, being chased throughout the school by him, getting a fucking car thrown at me… By all means, I should likely be dead.

_Again, **how**?_

Now, I’m not a genius, but I think it has to do with the fact that Mash is currently shielding me. I have no idea when she got here or how long I’ve been out, but it doesn’t seem that her job is done just yet. I could hear Berserker roaring, still loud as ever and worsening whatever headache I was currently experiencing.

_BAM!_

There’s that noise again. It’s so loud, that it’s practically shaking the area…

_BAM!_

Is that…is that Berserker?

_BAM!_

It took me a bit to realize that _yes_ —that was indeed Berserker…and he is currently slamming his entire weight against Mash’s shield. Of course, he doesn’t seem to be making any progress, as he was having issues getting past the glowing green barrier that was standing in between him and Mash’s shield.

“Holy shit,” I breathed, managing to catch Mash’s attention from the way she suddenly said, “Senpai—you’re awake!”

“Yeah, I’m…awake.” Just give me a minute or two to get up… “Uuuugh…”

“Please don’t push yourself, Senpai—you hit your head pretty hard during the explosion…” Is that why everything fucking _hurts_?

“Hhh…” I mustered up enough energy to force myself to sit up, gritting my teeth through the pain that stabbed at me with each movement I made. The scent of gasoline stung my nose and made my eyes water. “Ick…”

_Why is there hair all over the place?_

It took me until now to notice the heaps of orange hair that were pooling around my legs. Curiously, I grabbed a few locks and held them up to my face. It was a lot longer than I was expecting and also quite soft, in ways that made me feel envious…

_Wait…_

Slowly, it began to dawn on me that something was off as I realized how _familiar_ that particular shade of orange was… That’s when I tried to stand up without thinking twice about my situation.

“What the actual _fuck_?!” …which I instantly regretted when I ended up tripping and falling into Mash, no thanks to how fucking _long_ my hair had gotten while I was out-cold!

“Senpai, are you okay?” Mash looked over her shoulder at me. “You shouldn’t be pushing yourself like that!”

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashhhh!!!” I held up a long strand of my hair for Mash to see, looking like I was ready to freak the fuck out for what felt like the umpteenth time today! “Why is it looooooooooong?!”

_How messed up is this new body of mine?!_

“We’ll figure it out—just hold on a little longer!” Mash clenched her teeth. “Any second now…!”

Before I even had a chance to ask, Mash wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me closer to herself. It was just in time before a wave of green light blasted through the freaking school and destroyed everything in its freaking path…which would’ve included us, had it not been for Mash’s shield and whatever green barrier that she had up. It was still a very disorienting experience for me, causing me to black out momentarily. I only hung on through sheer determination that is not wanting Mash to worry when she’s been through enough already.

And to be frank, I’m kind of tired of conking out—it’s not fun.

It also helps that the back of my hand feels like it’s on fire.

_Freaking **ow**!_

“Sorry!” Mash apologizes almost immediately. “I didn’t mean to make you use one of your Command Seals!”

_Command Seals?_

Wait—those are the things on my hand!

“Aahh, shit!” I only get three of those…right?! God dammit—now I only have two left! The lower most red marking on the back of my hand is missing and in its place was a scar of some sort. It was in the shape of a nearly faded outline that still burned rather painfully.

_When will it go away?!_

“Oww…!” I shook my hand vigorously, hoping for the pain to go away. As this went on, I nearly lost my footing when the ground started to quake.

_THUD!_

Likely as a result of Berserker just dropping like it’s hot.

_God—how **old** am I?!_

Old enough to be saying shit like that, apparently. …Or I still just have vivid memories of _Homestuck_ …which doesn’t seem to exist anymore, since it’s like 2004 right now. Gosh, now that I actually _think_ about it, there are a _lot_ of things that don’t exist right now.

Like Berserker.

…

_Give it a minute or two._

He’s just lying there on the floor, not moving at all. I was pretty tempted to poke him, but Mash _refused_ to let go of me.

“Isn’t he dead?” I don’t think he’s breathing…

Mash shook her head. “No…not yet.”

And just like that, Berserker’s body was set ablaze—courtesy of whatever runes that Caster just used. That seemed to do a decent job in getting Berserker to react, roaring loudly as he tried to get up…only for a large, wooden hand to just sprout out of the floor and just slam him back down, keeping him forcefully in place. A minute passed, and the smell of charred flesh managed to reach my nose, causing me to gag.

“Oh, gross!” I didn’t think that _that_ was how it **_smelled_**.

Thankfully, it didn’t last long, because Berserker’s body soon faded out of existence, much like Medusa did after being set on fire. All that was left behind was a glowing card on the floor, which Caster had no qualms in picking up.

“Ahh, Craft Essence…” I have no idea what that means, but something about it seemed important enough for him to give it to me. “Thought you might like it Missy…by the way, yellow is _definitely_ your color.”

I didn’t have much time to even process his comment before he just patted me on the back with a certain look in his eye. “Wh-Wha…?”

Mash reacted instantly by smacking away his hand. “Caster, _please_ control yourself!”

“Oh, am I not allowed to enjoy the view?” Caster questioned with a smug grin, eyes practically gleaming with mirth.

“What view?” I dared to ask, soon coming to regret that question when Caster pointed downwards and I, like the idiot I am, looked down.

_So **that’s** what he meant by yellow…_

Apparently, the former owner of this body had a thing for pastel lingerie and padded bras. This discovery is brought to you by the explosion, for not only managing to knock me the fuck out, but also for leaving my clothes in tatters.

_Lovely._

There goes whatever use I had left for these tights… Skirt’s damaged beyond repair and so is this shirt. Underwear seems to be mostly intact, if a bit singed, but it’s nowhere near enough to be considered a full-on disaster.

_Honestly, this could be worse._

“What the hell happened here?!”  Never mind—Olga Marie is here and I don’t think she appreciates the yellow lingerie as much as Caster does. “We leave you alone for like an hour and you somehow managed to run into Berserker!”

“In my defense—he found me.” I don’t know how, because aren’t Servants supposed to be able to sense each other or something?

_I don’t fucking know._

It’s been a while since I dabbled _this_ hard into lore that doesn’t involve _Pokémon_ or _Kingdom Hearts_ … And now I made myself sad when I realized that I won’t get a chance to play _Kingdom Hearts III_.

And this day just keeps getting worse and worse!

“Here—put this on.” Olga Marie took off her blazer and offered it to me. “You need it to give you some protection from the flames.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” At this point, I don’t really give a shit.

Olga Marie, on the other hand, _did_ give a shit. “Put it on!”

“You’re not the boss of me!” Fuck you—I’ll wear what I want!

“I’m the Director!” Olga Marie scowled. “Now stop being such a child and wear the damn blazer!”

“No!” I yelled as I tore off the remains of my shirt. “I got myself into this mess and dammit, I’m gonna get myself out of this mess myself!”

_Eventually._

Olga Marie glared at me, teeth clenched tightly in annoyance. She closed her eyes and exhaled, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before putting her blazer back on. “Fine…do what you want. Just don’t complain, okay?”

“Why would I?” I’m pretty sure that worse things have already happened. This is literally like the least of my worries.

That’s when Caster got a little too close for comfort and said, “I like your train of thought, Missy!”

_Oh, right—that._

“Hmm…” I looked over at Olga Marie, who just stared right back at me with a look on her face that read, “I told you so.”

_Fucking heck, she did._

“Is everyone okay?” Siegfried, my man—where have you been? “Has Berserker been disposed of?”

“He has, thanks to your Noble Phantasm!” Mash was smiling as she looked at Siegfried. “Senpai is completely unharmed, if…a bit underdressed.”

“Underdressed?” Siegfried stared blankly at Mash, who nervously coughed into her hand before gesturing towards me. “Oh…”

“So that was _your_ Noble Phantasm?” I tried to change the subject almost immediately. The less questions asked about the lingerie, the better… “Hey—hands off!”

“Didn’t think you were that small!” Oh _god_ , he noticed the padding!

“ _Siegfried_!” I screamed.

And down goes Caster for a second time… “I deserved that.”

_You’re damn fucking right…_

I spent the next hour or so just sitting on Siegfried’s shoulders after that mess of a situation. Olga Marie was giving me a crash course in Craft Essences, courtesy of the one that Berserker had dropped. Apparently, the Craft Essence he had possessed had allowed him to go undetected, which is how he managed to get the jump on us—or he would have, had I not run into him and earned his undivided attention. It made the process of eliminating him a _lot_ easier…at the cost of me almost dying again.

_Three times in a fucking day is **not** something to be proud of!_

It’s really making it a huge pain in the ass to adjust to this new body…speaking of which— “Hey, why is my hair so fucking long?!”

Olga Marie’s eye twitched. “Must you word your questions like that?”

“Look me in the eye, Director—just look me in the eye and ask me if I give a shit.” Because I don’t. “I almost died back there, so excuse my freaking language for wanting to know if something’s wrong with my body!”

…

…

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling somewhat awkward at the silence I’ve created. “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t be taking it out on any of you. I’m just…seriously frazzled.”

I rather not die after making it this far already…

“It’s okay, Senpai.” Mash, you’re too nice.

_I seriously don’t deserve to have her as a friend…_

“If Missy is worried about her body, then there’s nothing to worry about.” Caster, you better not be using this as an excuse to hit on me again, or so help me, I _will_ slap you. “It’s likely the result of a prana surge, no doubt from the young lady finally activating her Noble Phantasm.”

“That’s one hell of a prana surge…” Olga Marie almost seemed envious. “It just goes to show how important bonds are between a Master and a Servant.”

“So…Senpai’s hair is because of our bond…” Mash sounded pretty happy about that.

“Aww, I treasure our bond, too!” It’s literally the only thing keeping me going. “You too, big guy.”

I gave Siegfried a few affectionate pats on the head, to which he just quietly grunted in response. Aww, he’s a shy one—how _cute_!

“So…what now?” I asked as I began to braid Siegfried’s hair. It’s just so fluffy and soft!

“Well, Berserker’s taken care of, despite our efforts to avoid him.” Caster scratched the back of his head. “I have a feeling that a certain Archer might have sent him our way…probably gave him the Craft Essence, too.”

“Well, _fuuuuuck_ them!” I’m not sure which Archer this is, but Siegfried is all kinds of fucked if he has to fight against one. “You can’t fight against Archers, right?”

“I can, but…it would be at a disadvantage.” Yeah, I assumed so, since it’d be like bringing a knife to a gun fight…

_If Indiana Jones has taught me anything, it’s that it never ends well._

“Like I said—I’ll take care of that bastard.” Oh right—Caster did say that. “You just focus on Saber, yeah?”

“Now that I can use my Noble Phantasm, it shouldn’t be that much of an issue,” Mash pointed out. “Although, I should mention that I still do not know its True Name nor the True Name of the Heroic Spirit that I merged with…”

“One thing at a time, Mash!” I tried to reassure her. “Be happy with what you’ve accomplished, okay? Speaking of which, congrats!”  
I’m really proud of you, Mash!! I’d give you a hug, but I’m currently occupied with Siegfried’s hair.

“Thank you, Senpai.” Mash smiled at me, looking very content.

_Ba-dump!_

“Ahahaha, it’s nothing!” I wave my hand as my cheeks heated up with a blush. It’s honestly so embarrassing with how much trust that Mash is putting in me, like—girl, you can do so much better…

_But thanks anyways._

“Now that Berserker is taken care off, all we have to worry about now is Archer and Saber.” Olga Marie crossed her arms over her chest. “I say we rest for another hour before we go take on Saber. It’s for the best, considering the two of you have used your Noble Phantasm against Berserker.”

“Sounds like a good plan!” I don’t see anything wrong with this.

“Though, before that—Noa…” Yes, Olga Marie— _why_ are you holding that dagger? “Give me your hand.”

Oh _hell_ no! “You’re not slicing my hand again!!”

The bleeding might’ve stopped as quickly as it started, but I ain’t gonna let some crazy _bitch_ just fucking cut me again!

_It hurts, dammit!_

“If we want to survive against Saber, then you’ll give me your hand!” Olga Marie wasn’t exactly in the mood to deal with my shit and I honestly don’t blame her. Too bad I don’t feel like bleeding out again! “Or would you rather try alternative methods for a mana transfer?”

Shit, that’s _right_ —those are a thing!

“Wait, is that why you want my hand?” That sounds reasonable, buuut…wait— “There’s another way?!”

How much shit do I even _remember_ from this series? I’m a fucking idiot!

“You have got to be kidding me…” Olga Marie isn’t getting paid enough for this. In fact, I don’t even think she’s getting paid at all. She’s just stuck in this mess, like the rest of us. “Look, the alternatives are…are…”

“Yes…?” I tilted my head to the side, my arms currently resting atop of Siegfried’s head. “Go on…!!”

Olga Marie trails off, looking far too flustered to even continue as I stared at her. Her face was about as red as a tomato, a small bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face. Whatever it is that she wanted to tell me, it must’ve been pretty embarrassing.

_Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking casual with Nasuverse lore, then this wouldn’t be an issue!_

Well, you got me there, brain—why is Caster smiling? “I don’t like that look on your face.”

Caster had the biggest grin on his face, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “So you want to know about mana transfers, eh?”

_Oh, I do not like this one bit._

“Blood is certainly one way to do it…” he began, taking a few steps towards Siegfried and me. “Kissing also works.”

“Kissing…?” I feel like I’m being messed with…

“Of course, the most efficient way would be to have se—” Caster never has a chance to finish, because Fou picks the _best_ time to chomp down on his left ear. It’s not painful enough to elicit a response of any sort from Caster, but it is enough to divert his attention away from whatever it was that he was going to say. “Missy—it seems your companion wants to play.”

“Fou!” Fou lets out a somewhat aggressive growl before biting down on Caster’s finger when he tries touching him.

“Fou says you should watch what you say.” Mash walks over to Caster, allowing Fou to jump onto her shoulder after he released Caster’s finger. Fou lets out a few content cries before rubbing his cheek against Mash’s. “I’m inclined to feel similarly.”

Caster only laughs at her comment. “We are pressed for time, so it would be wise to focus on methods that aren’t so time-consuming.”

Olga Marie cleared her throat. “E-Exactly!”

“Wait—so Caster was being serious?!” The realization was so jarring, that I lost my balance and fell off of Siegfried’s shoulders—which is what I fucking get for not being careful! “Wh-Whoa!”

“Senpai!” Mash exclaimed.

“Oomph!” Siegfried is a lot more agile than he lets on, from the way he effortlessly spun around and caught me in his arms. “Ugghhh…”

“Sorry,” he said, carefully setting me down.

“Why…are you sorry?” Stop apologizing for things you shouldn’t be sorry about! “It’s not your fault!”

Siegfried only blinked and then nodded his head. “Understood.”

“Thanks, though…” That would’ve been a painful fall… “Geez, you’re _so_ tall!”

“Thank you?” Siegfried sounded so uncertain, but at least he wasn’t apologizing.

“Since you two are getting along so nicely, I don’t think there’s a need for blood.” Caster flashed us a grin when we turned to him.

“It might be for the best, seeing as we’re in such an uncontrolled environment.” Olga Marie sighed as she put away her dagger.

_Why does she even have that?!_

“That didn’t stop you the first time,” I muttered under my breath. I’m still mad about that, by the way. You just don’t do that to people, okay?!

“So what are you waiting for?” Olga Marie tapped her foot impatiently, arms crossed indignantly over her chest. “Get to it and kiss him!!”

“Huh, yeah okay…WAIT!” It literally takes me a fucking moment to process the command. Heat rushes to my face as I find myself facing Siegfried. He looks so innocent, so…out of my league. “Hyeeek!”

A startled shriek leaves my mouth when Siegfried suddenly closes the distance between us and kneels down to my level, asking, “Is this any better?”

_Adklsjhsklfhdkjldfhkjnklklfdhlkfjd!!_

My brain is nothing but a series of incomprehensible keysmashing, courtesy of this smooth motherfucker—what the _fuck_ , Siegfried?! I almost wanted to yell at him, but I just…couldn’t.

_It’d be like kicking a puppy._

I’ll just feel bad and I already have _enough_ emotions weighing me down.

“Do you need any help?” Caster picks the absolute worse time to ask me that. I don’t even _need_ to look at him to know that he’s grinning.

_He’s enjoying this, dammit!_

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you!” That is a total lie, but the last thing I need is _his_ help.

“Then there’s no need to hesitate, Missy.” Easy for you to say, Mister…shit, what did he do again?

_A lot._

Thanks brain—glad I can rely on you in times of need. This is what I get for prioritizing Greek mythology…

“Or…is this your first time?” Wipe that smug grin off your face! “Ohh—did I guess correctly?”

“Fuck you!” Well, if I wasn’t being obvious before, then I sure as hell am now! “You can’t just…expect me to kiss someone I just met.”

Dammit, Siegfried—say something, will you?! “I don’t mind.”

_That’s **not** what I meant!_

“Aaaugh!” I buried my face into hands, resisting the urge I had to cry. I know that the situation itself demands it, but my brain keeps screaming at me freak out and I don’t think the lingerie is helping, since it really just hammers in the fact that this isn’t my body.

_Originally, at least._

It certainly wasn’t the one I was born with, which makes a whole god damn difference—someone’s patting my head.

“Huwah…?” When I look up, I find that it’s Siegfried, who is still handling this better than I ever will.

_I guess I should just get this over with…_

Okay, deep breaths… _deeeeep_ breaths… “Siegfried, can you please your eyes? Thank you.”

_I can’t do this with you staring at me like that…_

Now just lean in…lean in…lower—that’s his nose.

_Oh god, I can’t do this!_

Too bad I didn’t have much of a choice because some _asshole_ decided to shove me just as I was moving away! “W-Whaau—mmph!”

Aaaaand there goes my first kiss. Gone like the fucking wind… Goodbye sweet fantasies of mine—that never existed, apparently.

_Shit, I never went past handholding!_

“You were taking too long, so I decided to help out a bit!” Caster does not at all sound like he has any regrets for a man who was gonna fucking _mauled_ as soon as I recovered from this shit. “Now that wasn’t too hard, yeah?”

An incoherent string of words left my mouth after I pushed myself away from Siegfried. Thoughts were swimming through my head, making it difficult to maintain a grip on whatever control I had left on my composure. My face felt as though it was on fire, tears soon rolling down my cheeks before I had a chance to blink them back. My heart was pounding so hard, that it was almost painful.

_Th-Thump, th-thump! Th-Thump, ba-dump!_

“Uh…Missy?” Caster stopped smiling almost at once after seeing the look on my face.

“Senpai, are you okay?!” Mash placed a hand on my shoulder, which I immediately swatted away.

“Don’t _touch_ me.” My body won’t stop shaking, my chest is hurting, my emotional stability is completely in shambles—I am anything _but_ okay! I wanted to cry so badly, and at the same time, I just wanted to scream. So I compromised. “Uuuuwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!”

…

…

_It started off with a kiss, how did it end up like this?!_

I was left alone after that, likely because of the meltdown I just had. I’ve never did so well with embarrassment—it’s like one of my serious weaknesses. And honestly, sometimes I’m just too emotional to function at times. Thankfully, I’m not a child anymore, so I have a better grip on my emotions…for the most part.

_I’m not throwing tantrums, so that should at least amount to **something**!_

I sighed, hugging my knees closer to my chest. I stared blankly at the orange hair that blanketed the floor beneath me. It’s just so… _long_.

_You know, I’m starting to miss having short hair._

I wanted to cut it, but I didn’t feel like getting up…or looking around for a pair of scissors, which I honestly don’t think I’d find that easily in this fucking hellscape. We might be at a school, but I ain’t gonna go digging around for something sharp after almost dying again to a behemoth of a man.

_Ahh, yeah, Heracles—that’s the name._

And here comes the angst, because of all the things I happened to remember, it’s _definitely_ episode fifteen of _Unlimited Blade Works_!

_Oww, my heart…_

Jesus _fuck_ are we sure as hell lucky that Berserker wasn’t at full power…wait—Saber defeated him. All twelve of…

_Oh hell, we’re **fucked**._

“Are you done crying?” What do you want, Olga Marie? “Or do you need more time?”

“Fuck off.” I’m not in the mood… “Aahh!”

I bit back a shriek when Olga Marie suddenly dropped down to my level. Her expression was stern as usual, her brow furrowed, and lips pressed together. She stared at me for a moment before reaching out and placing her hand on my shoulders.

“Wh-What do you want?!” I don’t like how handsy she’s getting…

_At least take me out to dinner first!_

“It’s clear to me that you have no idea what a mana transfer entails,” she answers, her grip growing firm. “So I feel it’s only appropriate that I teach you if we all wish to survive the next battle. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Y-Yes…?” I think I do, but…how are you going to teach me?

“Okay, then…just feel what on doing with the prana,” she explained without much context.

I blinked. “What does that even—”

I was cut off when Olga Marie leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. She tangled her fingers in my hair, keeping me close and in place. I didn’t know how else to react, considering that this was the last thing I _ever_ expected her to do.

_So this is what it means to be too gay to function…_

That’s kinda…hot? I mean I don’t mind, but I wish circumstances could’ve been better and—oh god, she’s using _tongue_!

_Abort abort abort!_

_My inexperienced ass is **not** prepared!_

I don’t know how long this went on, but as soon as Olga Marie pulled away, I was gasping for air. I felt incredibly dizzy, my vision somewhat blurry. I hated how hard my heart was pounding within my chest.

_Ba-dump! Ba-dump!_

“Did you get that?” Olga Marie asked me, her eyes staring directly into mine.

“Uhhhhh…” I have no idea how she does it, but I’m feeling extremely envious of her for being able to keep her cool, despite doing something so _intimate_ with a complete stranger.

“PAY ATTENTION THIS TIME!” Olga Marie leaned in for a second round, barely giving me a chance to react.

_We are **so** going out to dinner after this!_

I eventually got the hang of it after like…maybe three times? The second time got me _nowhere_ , but after the third time, I think I finally understood what Olga Marie had meant. At least, I hope so, because I rather not do _that_ again…

_I’ll freaking **die**!_

Of course, there was only one way to find out if I learned anything, so here I am—holding Siegfried’s face in my hands. He doesn’t say much and instead, just stares at me.

_Man, he deserves better than a fuck-up like me…_

“When this is over, we never speak of this again.” I consider myself extremely grateful that I’m such a fast-learner. My emotions are still all over the place, but at the very least, I have a better grip on this situation. It honestly helps that we have an empty classroom to use, so no one is around to watch us…

_Okay—deep breaths._

_Just… **feel** for it._

…

…

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

“Haaaa…” I stared up at the ceiling after that, trying my best to ignore the thoughts flooding my head. My heart wouldn’t stop beating so fast and my face felt like it was going to melt.

_Th-Thump, th-thump!_

It could’ve been worse. My brain’s just having a hard time processing these things. My headache is gone at the very least, and I don’t feel sore, either. All in all—it’s not that bad.

_Th-Thump, ba-dump!_

_Ba-dump! Ba-dump!_

“Master?” Aaaand there goes my heart again. “It was successful.”

“Th-That’s good.” It’s hard to talk, especially with how close Siegfried is. “Uuhhhh…”

“We should get going,” he says calmly, seemingly oblivious to my distress—or so I thought. “Thank you.”

Siegfried brought his hand down on my head and ruffled my hair. It caught me by surprise, but not in a bad way. After all, there was just something so comforting about it. I appreciated the action, although it looks like there’s something that Siegfried wants to say to me…

“Is something wrong?” I asked him. Since we’re stuck in this mess, we might as well talk to each other. “You can tell me—I won’t mind.”

He stares at me for a moment, his hand still tangled in my hair. It’s like he has to think about before he responds with, “Could you stop going behind me, Master? It bothers me, sorry.”

“Huh?” Oh, right…he did say something about not going anywhere behind him… _wait_. “If it bothers you, then don’t apologize for saying that!”

Siegfried blinked, eyes somewhat wide from shock. He likely wasn’t expecting me to act that way.

“Look—we’re in this together, okay?” I placed my hands on my hips as I looked him in the eye. “Whatever discomforts you have, tell me and I’ll try to accommodate. I just ask that you do the same in return. Do you understand? Be honest, okay?”

I know what it’s like to keep quiet and honestly, I’m tired of it. I always wanted to do something about it, but old habits die hard. I still try, though, and I’ve found that it’s a lot easier when you aren’t alone…

“I’m your Master, so it’s my job to make sure that we can make the most of our partnership.” My neck is starting to hurt from having to look up at him, but I ignored it. I needed to make a point.

Siegfried didn’t respond immediately, taking almost a minute to process what I had told him. Afterwards, he nodded his head and said, “I understand.”

I smiled at him as I placed my hand over his. “Good! Now let’s get going!”

There’s a lot I have to unpack as soon as we’re out of their hellscape. In the meantime, I’m at least glad that I’m not alone. I made another friend out of Siegfried…kinda. It’s a work in process, but I won’t stop until we managed to settle whatever differences there are between us.

On our way out of the classroom, Siegfried allows me to go first. It’s likely to avoid having me behind him, which I can understand. I still don’t know why he feels so uncomfortable, but if he doesn’t want to tell me, then I won’t ask.

_Maybe one day he’ll tell me._

In the meantime, we have a Saber Servant to confront and I am not looking forward to it.

“Senpai!” Mash called out to me as soon as she saw me leave. She had been waiting in the hallway for us, accompanied only by Fou while Caster and Olga Marie were doing whatever.

_They’re probably on the rooftop again…_

I’m amazed that the school was able to stay somewhat intact despite the god damn explosion that Berserker had caused. I feel that Caster might have had a hand in it, but who knows?

_I sure don’t._

“How did it go?” It amazes me how such a simple question can cause my face to flare up. “Oh, I’m sorry, Senpai!”

“It’s fine!” I said—you know, like a liar. “Let’s just get going.”

…

…

By the time we left the school grounds, I had gotten over it…somewhat. Just don’t bring it up, and I’m good. Fortunately, Olga Marie still considers me a sorry excuse for a Master, so the less she speaks of my mistakes, the better. Caster hasn’t been saying much since we left, likely knowing better than to make any jokes now that shit has gotten real. Mash was at the front of the group, just behind Caster, keeping an eye out for any abnormalities that might require use of her shield.

“Fou!” Meanwhile, Fou has been having the time of his life just playing with my long hair. He seems especially happy with how fluffy it is. “Fou!!”

As for Siegfried…well, considering how it bothers him for anyone to get behind him, it’s not that much of a surprise that he’s at the back of the group. He is just as observant as Mash, keeping an eye out for anything that might just pop out to attack us. Berserker might be dead, but Archer is still on the loose and I am honestly not looking forward to knowing _which_ Archer he could be.

_Please don’t let it be Gilgamesh…_

I rather take my chances with EMIYA and his Reality Marble, thank you very much!

_I’m gonna regret even thinking that…_

To be fair, I’m like at the complete mercy of my own Servants, so I’m fucked either way. I just rather not deal with tall, blond, and douchey—not under _these_ hellish circumstances. It really doesn’t help that I find him hot when his hair is down…

“What was that Missy?” Shit—did I say that out loud?!

“Nothing—whoa!” My legs picked the _best_ time to give out on me!

“Fou!” Fou abandons ship, leaving me completely on my own as I fall down.

_Thud!_

And there goes my face—right into the ground, where there’s dirt.

“Motherfucker…” My voice comes out muffled. Nobody laughs, likely because it looked like it fucking hurt—which it does.

_Fucking **ow**!_

Fast-forward to like three minutes later, I’m back on Siegfried’s shoulders for my own sake, due to the fact that my earlier encounter with Berserker had finally taken its toll on my body. I’m guessing the adrenaline must’ve worn off.

_Such great timing!_

I sighed in exasperation and rested my arms Siegfried’s head. He learned his lesson from last time, no longer taking his chances with trusting me to keep my balance from the way he holds onto my legs. It’s kind of awkward, but at this point, I don’t really give a shit. If it means not having to walk, then I’m game.

I am not at all envious at watching Olga Marie walk up the mountain trail in heels—actually, scratch that. I might be a _bit_ envious, if only for the fact that she can manage so effortlessly.

_Need me some of that skill._

Otherwise, to hell with walking, because my legs are _hella_ sore. At least my nose isn’t bleeding from the fall I took, although I still can taste some of the dirt in my mouth… Blek.

“You’re looking comfortable!” Caster remarked, flashing me a somewhat mischievous grin.

“I am.” Ignoring how some of Siegfried’s armor is poking the exposed areas of my thighs—it’s honestly not that bad. “Jealous?”

“You could say that…” I honestly didn’t get what Caster meant at first, but Olga Marie sure did when she told him to stop messing around. That’s when it really hit me—he wasn’t jealous of me.

_He’s jealous of Siegfried._

Ahahaha, I guess I do have nice legs…which is about all I have going for me. Not that I actually mind, because I’m quite okay with this.

_All I need is a pair of thigh highs and I am fucking set!_

Speaking of thigh highs… “Mash, I really like your thigh highs!”

“Ohh…thanks, Senpai.” Aww, she’s blushing! How _cuuute_ …

“So _that’s_ Missy’s type!” I’ll have you know that my type varies, Caster.

_Although I am quite predictable with my fondness for busty blondes…_

“Will you two _try_ to act serious for once?!” Olga Marie pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Ask me again when I go at least a few hours without almost dying…” Really, it does change your perspective on things. “By the way—you. Me. Dinner.”

“Wh-What?!” Olga Marie furrowed her brow.

“I need closure from what we did earlier and honestly, it’s the least you can do for me.” You _did_ slice my hand…

“Ugh, fine!” Olga Marie huffed, looking less than impressed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “But it’s on _my_ terms!”

Did I just land a fucking date with a pretty lady?!

_Hella—at least **one** thing’s going right!_

…

…

_“This world is so cruel,_

_Yes, it’s sad, but very true,_

_This world is so strange,_

_It’s debatable but true._

_Is this flower garden…_

_Real or fake?”_

“You sure are pessimistic, Missy,” Caster remarked at my choice in song.

"I'm sorry, but are you the one dressed only in their skivvies?" Honestly, of all the fucking songs that could fit my current situation, it’s certainly _Blumenkranz_ …now I wanna make a flower crown. Hehehe, Siegfried and Mash would both look really cute with one on…

“I can remove my shirt if you’d like,” Caster offered.

I thought about it for a moment…then shook my head. “Keep it—Director might make me wear it.”

“Ahhh, you’re right.” Caster grinned. “Good call, Missy!”

Olga Marie was rendered speechless by our conversation.

“Are you okay, Director?” Mash asked out of concern. She received no response, only an expression filled with regret.

_I’m starting wonder if this is a coping mechanism…_

Maybe I shouldn’t think too much about it.

“The Holy Grail is through here.” Caster stands at the entrance to an ominous-looking cave.

“It looks like a natural cave, but has it always been in Fuyuki?” That’s a somewhat uncomfortable question you’re asking, Mash. Especially since this looks like the start of some horror movie we’re just seconds away from stepping into.

“It’s half-natural, half-artificial.” And Olga Marie just confirms my fears involving freaky magic bullshit… “A Mage spent many years expanding his underground workshop.”

Fou doesn’t make it any better when he starts growling, like any other animal would when dealing with supernatural phenomenon.

“Ahh!” My body went completely rigid when Siegfried suddenly removed me from his shoulders. He moved behind Mash, setting me down onto the ground as she got into position with her shield.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Caster says, sounding somewhat annoyed. “The disciple is here.”

Directly across from us at some distance, standing on top of higher ground, stood a muscular man with short, white hair and brown skin.

_Welp…at least it ain’t Gilgamesh._

“I am the bone of my sword.” And yet, that phrase still manages to raise so many fucking alarms in my head. I had to force myself to move, my arms now wrapped around Mash’s waist in an attempt to stay grounded.

_Calm, calm, calm, calm!!_

_I am calm—we are okay._

_Okay okay **okay**._

Thankfully, Caster had it handled and stopped the massive sword arrow that was headed our way. That still did nothing to ease my nerves, considering how it literally feels like we are seconds away from being forced into a Reality Marble of _death_.

_Woosh!_

“Ahhh…” I lost all sense of feeling in my legs when a fucking arrow just landed on the ground right next to me. Then, very softly, but with feeling, I said, “What the fuck.”

“It appears you have survived Berserker’s rampage.” Archer had such a neutral expression on his face as he aimed another arrow at us. “How disappointing.”

_Motherfucker—so **you’re** the reason I almost died again!_

“So it _was_ you!” Oh, you are _so_ lucky that I can’t feel my legs right now, you son of a bitch! “What the fuck, dude?!”

_Do I look like Shirou, you fucknut?!_

I don’t know why I’m even _trying_ to find reason in this clusterfuck of a mess, because all it gets me is a barrage of explosive arrows that Caster quickly dispatches with his magic.

“ _Oi_ —this is between you and me, Archer!” Caster scowled as he sent a wave of fire balls in Archer’s direction.

Predictably, Archer evaded the attack, though it left enough of an opening for Caster to tell us to get going through the cave. Siegfried reacted instantly, hoisting me onto his shoulder as Mash went ahead, her shield held up in front of herself. Olga Marie followed after, with Siegfried trailing behind them.

“Caster, you better not die!” I shouted, my view of Caster growing more and more distant as Siegfried proceeded forward. He gave me no response and instead, just smirked. That was the last thing I saw before he completely disappeared from my sight. I sighed, hoping for the best as I looked on ahead.

When we finally arrived at the end of the tunnel, what we saw was not anything I was expecting for something that was referred to as the Holy Grail. I was expecting an actual cup, not some huge-ass plateau.

“Oh-ho. That is an interesting Servant there,” a hollow voice spoke out, devoid of any emotion. It was almost chilling, though I feel the sight of the source itself was a lot more intimidating than her voice. Standing at the top, looking down at us with immense displeasure, was Saber.

She looks almost like I last remembered her from _Unlimited Blade Works_ , except a lot more malevolent looking, with a darker color scheme.

_Oh hai, Arturia._

“Unbelievable magical output…” Mash’s voice was strained, her expression grim.

“That’s bad, right?” I looked at Olga Marie, who was currently biting her thumb and I don’t mean in a Shakespearean way of giving someone the finger.

“What do you think?!” she snapped at me.

“Oh, that we’re royally fucked.” That’s what I think. “Siegfried, what are you doing?”

“Sorry,” he apologizes as he removes me from his shoulders. He sets me down on the ground by Olga Marie. “You need to stay behind.”

“Don’t die.” Not the most inspiring choice of words, but I _really_ don’t want Siegfried (or anyone, really) dying on me. “You too, Mash!”

I don’t need to tell her, but you can never be too sure…

“Stand behind me!” Olga Marie got in front of me and then threw down a rock. A white-colored wall made of some sort of magical energy appeared before us, shielding us from any debris that was scattered through the air when Saber dropped down to attack Mash.

Mash blocked the attack with her shield and focused all her strength in pushing Saber back. She was struggling against her, only just managing when Siegfried jumped in, forcing Saber to back away in order to avoid his sword. He pulled his sword out of the ground afterwards and then charged towards Saber.

_Clang!_

Their swords clashed noisily with each other. For someone who was far taller and had a longer sword, Siegfried was still having issues with pushing Saber back. It was honestly worrying, considering what that just said about Saber.

_Twelve fucking lives, Noa— **twelve**._

Mash was taking a moment to catch her breath. She held out her shield in front of herself and closed her eyes for a moment, opening them immediately afterwards as she said, “ **Status UP**!”

A cascade of white light encircled her and Siegfried, moving upwards into the air and fading out in the shape of snowflakes. I don’t know what that did, but it sure looked cool.

“Cool…” Alright, now I need to scrub my brain clean because I just remembered Gilles de Raise and Uryuu Ryuunosuke.

“Instead of gawking, can you try to focus on the fight?” Olga Marie scolded me, causing Fou to dive into my hair to hide from her. I’m not sure when he got on my shoulder, but I don’t that matters much in this situation… “You are just as much part of this fight as they are.”

“How?” Lady, how? I’m standing right next to you, behind a magical shield that is now a gold color…when did that happen?

“Depending on how things escalate, you might have to use another Command Seal,” Olga Marie explained. “Are you prepared for that?”

Why does she have to be right…? “If it means not dying or having anyone else die, then sure.”

“Try to take this seriously.” Olga Marie massaged her temples. “If we make it out of this alive, I am getting you a new outfit that is at the very least, fire-resistant.”

“Why wasn’t it?” I’m surprised, considering that it came from some random facility that dabbles in fucking magic.

“Oversight,” she sighed in exasperation. “None of us were expecting any developments of this sort and you’re not exactly dressed in the standard uniform that other Master candidates were issued.”

“You know, if I hadn’t fallen asleep, I wouldn’t be here—so can you try to let that go at the very least?” I’d be totally boned if I hadn’t passed out.

“Rrrgh, fine!” Olga Marie crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ll let you have that one.”

_Aaaayy!!_

_Clang!_

_Clang!_

Siegfried and Saber were still at it, neither of them landing a hit on each other. Mash stood at the side, just waiting for an opening of some sort. The immediate moment she had one, she jumped in and blocked Saber’s sword with her shield.

“Now, Siegfried!” she yelled. She pushed all her weight against Saber, keeping her occupied as Siegfried held up his sword in front of himself.

“The evil dragon shall fall, and the world will reach its sunset.” Fuchsia-colored flames began to emanate from Siegfried’s body, dancing around him in a circle as his sword’s hilt began to glow. “I will bring you down—Balmung!”

He swung his sword downwards, sending a bright wave of green energy in Saber and Mash’s direction. Mash showed no signs of moving, from the way she was still focused on keeping Saber busy. This was extremely concerning, considering the damage that attack had done earlier to both Berserker and the school.

“Mash, move out of the way!” I yelled at her.

Mash does the exact opposite of what I had told her, doing anything else except moving out of the way. She uses the opening that she had from forcing Saber’s sword upwards with her shield in order to land a low sweep on Saber’s legs. The kick had just enough strength to cause Saber to lose her footing and focus, allowing Mash the chance to get behind her. Mash acted quickly, pushing her shield against Saber’s back, and forcing her onto the ground. The timing was just immaculate enough for Siegfried’s attack to hit the two of them directly without room for either of them to dodge.

I immediately thought the worst when it came to Mash. There is only so much that her shield can deflect, considering that she was using it to pin Saber underneath her. “Dying was _not_ part of the plan, Mash!”

_When I told you not to die, I meant it!_

**_“It’s okay, Senpai.”_** I froze still when I suddenly heard Mash’s voice in my head. **_“I’m perfectly fine.”_**

_Why am I suddenly hearing voices?_

**_“A Master and Servant can communicate with each other telepathically,”_** Mash explained. **_“You are capable of doing such with Siegfried as well.”_**

_Well, that explains a lot—Mash, how are you **not** dead?!?!_

**_“Oh, I used my skill, Obscurant Wall of Chalk to grant myself invulnerability.”_** I don’t why Mash failed to tell me about that skill of hers, because this is important information that could keep my anxiety from spiking up to debilitating levels. **_“I apologize—I didn’t know how else to bring it up.”_**

_Sweetie, can you please just give me a heads-up next time…_

**_“Understood.”_** I sighed in relief when I saw Mash come out completely unscathed, Saber still trapped underneath her shield.

Saber has certainly seen better days, from the way her armor had massive cracks in it. She gritted her teeth as she struggled to throw Mash off of herself. Siegfried’s attack had weakened her considerably, which is honestly mindboggling. You would think it would take a lot more to bring someone like Arturia Pendragon down.

_Apparently not._

“We should consider ourselves fortunate that the Servant you had summoned possesses a Noble Phantasm that is extremely effective against dragons.” Olga Marie had her gaze focused intently on Saber.

I stared at her for a moment, then looked at Saber, and then back at her. “That’s a dragon?”

_I’m sorry, but how?_

“Servants possess a variety of traits that group them into categories that can determine the outcome of a battle,” Olga Marie began. “One such trait is dragon, which your Servant also possesses—I would advise you to make note of it, for future references.”

_So it’s like Pokémon._

That’s as best of a comparison that I can come up with on the spot. It makes the most amount of sense to me, so I don’t see there being much of a problem.

_Guess I should start keeping track of what is and isn’t super effective…_

That’s gonna take some time and unlike Pokémon, I don’t even think I have the luxury of trial and error to learn these things without possibly dying. That’s a bummer…

“Fou…” Fou started growling again, his fur bristling as he glared at Saber. It was likely in response to the dark aura that had started emanating from Saber’s body…oh, that’s bad.

“Mash, Siegfried—get away _now_!” Siegfried had been making his way over to Saber to finish her off when I had said that. He stopped only for a moment to sheath his sword and then dashed at full speed towards Mash and Saber. He lifted Mash off of Saber, shield and all, the two narrowly avoiding the force of dark aura that had expelled from Saber’s body.

Siegfried kept going until he was certain that he and Mash were a good distance away from Saber. He set her down in front of himself, moving back a few steps only to allow Mash some room to prepare her shield. The two were preparing themselves for whatever attack that Saber had in mind for them as she got up from the ground.

“Iron Hammer of the Hollow King.” Dark energy flared from Saber’s sword, glowing an eerie purple and red color. “Swallow the light! Excalibur Morgan!”

Saber swung her sword, sending an intense flow of dark energy at Mash and Siegfried. A glowing green barrier appeared over Mash’s shield before the dark energy had a chance to hit, successfully blocking the attack. The attack continued strongly for nearly a minute before it finally stopped.

“It seems you were able to stop my Noble Phantasm.” Saber almost sounded impressed… _almost_. “But for how long? I can only wonder…”

Dark energy cloaked her sword for a second time, but it got her nowhere as Siegfried suddenly appeared before Saber. He interrupted her attack with an attack of his own, slashing his sword diagonally with enough force to break through her armor.

“H-How?!” Saber was baffled at how Siegfried had managed to sneak up on her.

“Parted Sea,” is all that Siegfried says before plunging his sword into Saber’s exposed torso.

I had to cover my eyes for that, because I wasn’t in the mood to see real-life gore. Like no—please!

_Do not want!_

“Noa…did you give that Craft Essence to Siegfried?” Olga Marie asked me, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Yes?” I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do with it, so I just gave it to Siegfried. To be honest, I almost forgot about it…

_I probably shouldn’t mention that to Olga Marie…_

“I guess you aren’t that incompetent.” I’ll take that as a compliment! “Keep your guard up—the battle is still not over.”

“What do you mean it isn’t over?!” I just saw Siegfried stab Saber with a fucking sword! That image is likely going to haunt me from the deepest depths of my nightmares.

“She means that Saber just needs another nudge to admit defeat.” Caster, is that you?!

I uncovered my eyes, my jaw almost dropping in shock at the sight of Caster. “Holy shit—you’re alive!”

_And you’re **shirtless**!_

“Of course, Missy! What else was I supposed to do after you gave me such a request?” He grinned at me as he gave my head a few affectionate pats. “Enjoying the view?”

“Uhhhhhh…” was all I could say as my gaze stayed focused on Caster’s perfectly sculpted abs. Hot _damn_.

“I guess it’s only fair, since you’ve given me that same chance!” He laughed when I suddenly swiped at him for that comment. “And that’s my cue to get serious!”

“You two are unbelievable…” Olga Maire looked at us with such weary eyes.

“My spell is the coffin of flames, a giant of verdant thorn.” Caster held out his staff in front of himself, his gaze completely focused as he continued his incantation. “Retribution, a shrine that will purify human misery—Befall the Wicker Man! And behold, as both good and evil bite the dust—!”

Caster swung his staff forward, summoning a circle of flames underneath Saber and Siegfried. Siegfried took that as a sign to retreat, doing so only after pulling his sword out of Saber’s body. Saber had little time to react, her arm clutching the wound that Siegfried had left her.

“Wh-What…?” Her eyes widened at the sight of the massive humanoid statue that appeared in front of her. It was made completely out of wicker and alive to some extent, from the way it tracked Saber’s movement as she tried to escape from its reach.

She didn’t that far before the wicker man’s hand wrapped around her body and lifted her off the ground. She struggled to no avail, blood spattering out of her mouth when the hand only tightened its grip on her. The wicker man used its other hand to open the cage that made up its torso and threw Saber inside. It closed the door afterwards, trapping Saber within its cage.

The flames around the wicker man began to climb up its legs and body, setting fire to the wicker that made up its body. The wicker man responded by collapsing forward onto the ground, allowing the flames on the ground to completely engulf it. The fire burned brightly and intensely, leaving nothing behind once the flames died out…or so it seemed.

_Why are you still alive?!_

Saber appeared once the smoke had cleared, standing tall and looking relatively unharmed, if somewhat bloodied. “I was going to defend the Holy Grail to the end, but it seems I lost because my tenacity wavered.”

_Oh thank god she’s not a sore loser!_

“Ultimately, no matter how my fate changes, I will always meet the same end if I’m alone.” A smile appeared on her face, almost as though she was satisfied with the outcome of this battle. She remained calm as her body began to disappear in a glimmer of golden light.

“What does that mean?” Caster asked, looking rather perplexed. “Do you know something?”

“Eventually, you will come to know, Ireland’s Child of Light.” Saber’s body was half gone at this point, but she continued speaking. “Grand Order—the battle to obtain the Holy Grail has only begun.”

_Grand Order?_

That…sounds familiar. Of course, before I even had a chance to ask why, Saber disappeared completely, leaving behind a strange crystal where she once stood. Caster called out to her, wanting answers just as much as the rest of us.

“What do you mean by—huh?” Caster stopped when he noticed his body beginning to disappear as well. “Oh crap, am I getting sent back as well?”

“Caster!” What do you mean you’re getting sent back as well?! “Are you just going to leave us like that?”

Caster looked at me with a smile on his face. “I guess so, Missy. I don’t like it as much as you do, but there’s not much that I can do.”

I doubt there was much any of us can do regardless, but that didn’t make me any less sad at the thought of seeing Caster go. “At least you didn’t die…”

“Right you are, Missy!” he laughed as he rested his staff across his shoulders. “I’m leaving the rest to you and the young lady. You told me not to die, so it’s only fair that I say the same to you…yeah?”

Even during his final moments, Cú Chulainn could still find the time to mess around. That’s just so…like of him.

“Ahahaha…” I think I’m gonna cry…

“If there’s a next time, try to summon me as a Lancer!” Those were Caster’s last words before he disappeared.

_B-Bye…_

We regrouped not long after that, with Olga Marie getting in contact with Roman, using my bracelet, to report the recent turn of events to him. It goes about as well as you would expect when Roman noticed my current state of attire.

 ** _“What happened to you?!”_** Roman averted his gaze, his face somewhat flushed from embarrassment. **_“First Mash, now you…”_**

“I told you I’d show you shameless.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Romani, just get a change of clothes ready for her.” Olga Marie pinched the bridge of her nose. “This joke has gone on long enough…”

“Confirming both Saber and Caster have vanished,” Mash finally speaks after spending a few minutes scanning the area. “Does that mean we’ve won?”

 ** _“Yes, you did a fine job!”_** Roman smiles at Mash. **_“You too, Noa and, uh…Siegfried, right?”_**

Siegfried only nodded his head before hooking his hands under my arms. He catches me just as my legs give out, exhaustion hitting me like a fucking truck.

 ** _“Don’t worry—you’ll have enough time to rest up when you get back,”_** Roman reassured me. **_“In the meantime, at least we don’t have to worry about Singularity F anymore…right, Director?”_**

No response.

 ** _“Director?”_** Roman calls out for Olga Marie, who is currently lost in thought. **_“Is something the matter?”_**

Olga Marie shook her head. “It’s nothing. Good job everyone—several points are unclear, but let’s just call this mission complete. In the meantime, we need to collect the crystal that Saber left behind.”

“Oh, so I wasn’t just seeing things…” I was wondering when someone was going to comment on it.

“Anyways!” Olga Marie cleared her throat. “It seems to be the source of Saber’s abnormality, as well for why Fuyuki City became a singularity.”

“Can you get that for me, Mash?” I’d get it myself, if it wasn’t for the fact that I was so fucking _exhausted_. Geez, just how was I able to last this long?

_The world may never know…_

“Yes!” Mash nodded her head. “An immediate retrieval—what?”

The sound of slow, sarcastic clapping reached our ears. It was loud enough to create an echo and continued, even as an eerily familiar voice spoke out, “My, I never thought you would all get this far.”

“Who the _fuck_ is there?!” I blurted out.

“This is an unforeseen element of the project that goes beyond what my tolerance allows.” The source of the voice came from the top of the plateau, a figure soon walking into view. “Master Candidate #48. It was my mistake to naively overlook you as an improbable child.”

“I’m twenty-three, asshole!” Stop calling me a child! “Who do you think you—Lev?!”

What the fuck—we thought you were dead!

“Professor Lev?” Mash’s eyes widened.

 ** _“Lev—he’s there?!”_** Roman was having issues making out Lev from atop the plateau.

“Hm, is that Romani I hear?” Lev smiled. “So, you survived as well. I told you to come to the Command Room immediately, but it seems you didn’t listen. Honestly—trash who can’t even follow orders. Just the mere sight of it makes me want to throw up.”

_What the fuck, man?!_

“Why is it that humans always try to avoid their preordained destinies?” Lev’s face had such a creepy look to it.

“Hey, hey—fuck you!” Of course, I didn’t care, considering that this motherfucker just insulted my friend. “The only trash I see is you!”

Were it not for the circumstances of my exhaustion, I would’ve slaughtered you!

“Lev—oh, Lev!” Olga Marie was absolutely elated to see Lev again, not really caring much about what he has said so far. She ran towards him, ignoring Mash as she warned her not to get anywhere near him.

“Director, no—that man is…!” Mash tried to go after Olga Marie, but Siegfried stop her.

“Master doesn’t want us to die.” There was something definitely wrong with Lev for Siegfried to say something so ominous.

“But the Director…!” Mash clenched her teeth. “Director come back!”

“I don’t want her to die, either!” I told Siegfried, but he didn’t seem to be listening. Instead, his attention was focused on Olga Marie as she joined up with Lev.

“Director!” Mash continued calling out to Olga Marie, but she didn’t seem to be listening at all.

“Hi, Olga.” We heard Lev speaking calmly to her, as though nothing was wrong. “You seem well. Looks like you had a rough time, too.”

“Yes, yes, that’s right, Lev!” Olga Marie was blissfully unaware of the danger that Mash and Siegfried had been able to sense. “The Command Room blew up, the city’s in ruins, and I can’t return to Chaldea! I’m going crazy from all these unforeseen complications! But it’s okay, as long as you’re here, we’ll be fine…right? That’s how it’s always been, right? You’ll help me this time too, won’t you?”

“Yes, of course. Honestly, all these complications have irritated me.” There was something so heartbreaking about the way Olga Marie had so much trust in the man, that it made whatever came out of his mouth hurt even more. “And the biggest complication is you, Olga.”

“What?” Something almost seemed to shatter inside of Olga Marie as she stared at Lev, her eyes completely wide with shock.

“I planted the bomb right under your feet.” There was no hesitation in Lev’s voice as he said that. He wanted to be heard and he especially wanted Olga Marie to hear as well. “I can’t believe you’re still alive.”

“L-Lev?” Olga Marie stammered, a small bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face. “Um, wh-what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Director, get the fuck out of there!” I yelled at her. “Just _move_!”

“That isn’t the Lev we know!” Mash added.

Olga Marie staggered back a few steps, nearly losing her balance when Lev moved towards her. He had a smile on his face as he slowly followed after Olga Marie. He seemed to be enjoying the fear he caused her, even laughing in amusement at the shriek that escaped her mouth when he fastened his pace.

“Sorry, you’re not actually alive.” A disturbing smile crossed Lev’s expression. “You’re already dead.”

_What?_

“Your physical body, anyway.” That revelation elicited a couple of gasps from me and Mash. Siegfried, on the other hand, remained calm, but still on guard for anything that Lev might send our way. “Trismegistus thoughtfully transferred you into this land after you’d become residual thoughts. You had no aptitude for Rayshift while alive, right? You can’t teleport while you have a physical body. Understand? You only gained the aptitude you so desired after you died.”

“She’s…dead?” But she’s right…there.

_She’s right there._

_She’s right there._

_She’s right there._

_She’s right there. She’s right there right there right **there**._

_There there there therethere **theretheretherethere**._

**_She’srightthere_ ** _._

“That’s why you can’t return to Chaldea,” Lev explained, his smile only growing wider. “The moment you do, your consciousness will vanish.”

“Wh-What?” Olga Marie’s body was trembling. “I’ll vanish? Wait…I can’t return to Chaldea?”

“Indeed.” There was something so sickening about how happy Lev sounded. “But that’s too sad of a story for you. Let me show you the fate of the Chaldea that you devoted your entire life to.”

Lev held out his hand, the crystal that Saber left behind immediately going over to him. He stared at it as it spun around in the palm of his hand, the crystal soon morphing into a sphere that entered his body. He snapped his fingers afterwards, summoning an image of the massive gyroscope I vaguely recall seeing in the Command Room. In the center of the gyroscope was a replica of the Earth, although instead of blue, as I recall it being, it was an alarming shade of orange.

“Wh-What is that?” Olga Marie was at a complete loss for words at the mere sight of the image. “It’s not real, is it? That’s just a virtual image, right, Lev?”

“It’s the real thing,” Lev replies. “I linked space-time together for you. You see, with the Holy Grail, even this is possible. So take a good look, scion of the Animusphere family. This is the fate of your family’s lunacy.”

Lev waved his hand and for a moment, Olga Marie’s body glowed. Her body was then lifted off the ground, just floating in midair.

“Hey, what are you…” Olga Marie struggled to break free as she moved closer and closer to the image of Chaldeas.

“As this is the end, I’ll make your wish come true,” Lev said. “You may touch your treasure.”

“What are you talking about?” Olga Marie shrieked. “S-Stop it. But that’s Chaldeas!”

“Yes, it’s no different than a black hole. Or perhaps the sun.” Neither comparison was any better. “Either way, if a human touches it, they will be split apart on a molecular level. You will experience living infinite death.”

_What?_

“S-Senpai…don’t look.” Mash told me as she averted her gaze. “Please…”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?!” I looked at Mash for an answer, but she gave me none. That was when Siegfried covered my eyes with my hand and held me close to his chest. “H-Huh?!”

“Don’t look…” He sounded so sad…

_Why why why why why?!_

“No…No, somebody!” Olga Marie screamed. “Somebody help me!”

_Why why why why whywhywhywhy?!_

“Why? Why does this always happen to me?” I couldn’t see anything, all I could do was listen to Olga Marie as she continued to scream in fear. “No one’s ever praise me for anything! No one ever valued me! Everyone _hated_ me! No, don’t! No, no, no, no, no! I haven’t even accomplished anything yet! From the moment I was born, I’ve never been accepted by anyone—! _Nooooo_!”

_Don’t look don’t look don’t look don’t look._

I froze still when I heard an ear-shattering scream in pain. It grew louder and louder, cracking under the strain of its intensity. I clenched my fists tightly, my nails digging into the palms of my hand. It was painful…but not as painful as listening to Olga Marie screaming in pain. And just like that—it was over.

Nothing but silence.

_We were supposed to have dinner together…_

She wasn’t supposed to die.

_Whywhywhywhyw **hywhywhy**?_

I choked back a sob. Then another and then another…

_Why couldn’t we do anything?!_

We just stood there while she screamed for help…

_Why didn’t we help her?_

_Why?_

_Whywhywhy **whywhy**?_

_Why am I so **useless**?_

_Useless useless useless **useless**!_

I could’ve used a Command Seal…I could have.

_Why didn’t I?_

**_Why_ ** _?_

All I could think of is why— _why_ is everything going wrong. We were on the right track before Lev showed up and screwed us over…

“There was nothing we could do…” I heard Mash say. “If we approach that man, we’ll just die the same way…that’s why you stopped us, didn’t you, Siegfried?”

“Yes…sorry,” was Siegfried’s response.

“Ahhh…” I wanted to cry…I _really_ wanted to cry. But I didn’t want to cry in front of _him_.

“Impressive for a Demi-Servant.” I didn’t like the way he praised Mash. “You sensed that I am a fundamentally different life form. Shall I reintroduce myself?”

_I hate you._

“My name is Lev Lainur Flauros…” I regret ever meeting you. “In charge of the year 2017 sent to dispose of you humans.”

_Hate hate hate hate hate._

“Are you listening, Dr. Romani?” he continued. “As a friend who studied magecraft with you, let me give you some final advice. Chaldea is finished. You humans have reached the moment of your destruction.”

_Hatehatehatehate **hatehate**._

**_“Professor Lev…”_** Roman began, stopping only to correct himself. **_“No—Lev Lainur. What exactly do you mean by that? Is it related to being unable to see 2019?”_**

“It’s not ‘related.’ It’s the reality that this is the end.” Lev clarified. “Unable to observe the future, you babbled that it had ‘disappeared.’ That was truly wishful thinking. The future didn’t disappear. It was incinerated. The moment Chaldeas was dyed crimson.”

_Crimson…_

_“Chaldeas…has turned bright red…"_

Is that what she meant back there? Was that really when we reached the point of no return?

“Your end is certain. Your era no longer exists.” I felt so cold…so very, very cold. “Chaldeas’ magnetic field may be protecting Chaldea, but any outside of it will face the same fate as Fuyuki City.”

“Shut up…” I blubbered out, trying my hardest to ignore the burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. “Shut up shut up shut up shut up… Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!”

Lev chuckled darkly. “Deny it as much as you want, but everything I’m saying is the absolute truth.”

 ** _“So that was it…”_** Roman remarked. **_“We didn’t lose contact with the outside world due to interference, we simply lost the outside world itself.”_**

I wanted to throw up… Everything that I was hearing just made everything feel so _wrong_. Nothing made sense. I wish I could just laugh it off, but I don’t think I can even make any jokes about this.

_This is far too real._

“Hmph, you really are perceptive.” Lev sounded so annoyed. “A shame I didn’t kill you immediately.”

Something inside me just snapped at that moment. I forced Siegfried’s hand off of my face and glared at Lev, wanting nothing more than to strangle him with my bare hands. I have never wanted to kill someone so, **so** much until now…

“But that too, is futile resistance,” Lev continued, taking full note of the look of anger on my face. “If the time within Chaldea passes 2018, it will be wiped from this universe. No one can change the outcome now. This is a rejection of humanity by human history. You didn’t perish because your inability to evolve, nor did you perish due to war with foreign species. Rather, it was your own foolishness! Your incompetence! Because you lost the grace of our King! Like a bunch of worthless crap paper, you’ll be burned away without a trace!”

All too suddenly, the ground began to shake. Mash nearly lost her balance, only managing thanks to Siegfried.

“Ah, is this Singularity at its limit?” Lev tugged down on his hat. “Cursed Saber. If you’d just obeyed, you would have been allowed to live. Even when given the Holy Grail, she caused trouble by wanting to sustain this era…”

I almost regret that we had to take down Saber, if only for the fact that she proved to be a thorn in Lev’s side. Fuck him and his stupid-ass top hat!

“Farewell, Romani.” Lev turned to face us. “And you, Mash, and Candidate #48. Believe it or not, I have other things to do.”

“Like jumping off a fucking cliff, you asshat?!” I yelled out. “Go fucking die, you piece of shit!”

Lev only smiled, not taking any of my insults to heart. If anything, it just seemed to entertain him. “My enjoyment of your destruction ends here. Now, be swallowed by the dimensional warp. But I’m not that evil, I’ll allow you to say a final prayer.”

“Go fuck yourself!” was my response, not even giving that much of a shit when Mash suddenly covered my mouth with her hand.

Lev disappeared, alongside the image of Chaldeas, in a flash of light, leaving us alone to whatever was going to happen to this Singularity.

“Doctor—please perform an emergency Rayshift!” Mash spoke into my bracelet. “At any rate, we can at least save Senpai. Is that fine with you, Siegfried?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Siegfried replied. “As long as Master makes it out, then it is fine.”

“Mmph!” I don’t want either of you to die!

_Nonononononono!_

**_“Understood!”_** Roman responded. **_“I’m already doing it! But I’m sorry, it may collapse faster than I can fix it! If it does, then do what you can on your side! I mean, we can survive in space for a few dozen seconds, right?”_**

“Sorry, but please shut up, Doctor!” Mash snapped. “I’m so mad, I’m about to lose my cool!”

 ** _“Just hang on to your consciousness—Archer, if you’re still here, at least try to lend a hand or something?!”_** Beads of sweat were rolling down Roman’s face. **_“If we don’t lose that, I might salvage—”_**

“We won’t make it!” Mash closed her eyes, not knowing how else to react. She only opened them when my hand wrapped around hers. “S-Senpai…!”

I don’t remember much after that, the final thought I had in mind was how tightly Siegfried had his arms around us. And then there was darkness…

_Nothing but darkness._

When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but white. Everything hurt—my head, my body…

_Olga Marie…_

It came back to me all too suddenly, the tears just welling up in my eyes at the memory of her screams reaching my ears. I couldn’t hold back anymore, the sobs just escaping my mouth as I let myself cry over everything that has happened so far.

“Ahh, it’s okay—it’s okay!” a feminine, gentle voice spoke. “Everything is going to be fine!”

I continued to sob as I was sat up, a pair of arms soon wrapping around me in an embrace. I was held closely against someone’s soft, well-endowed chest. Soon, all I could feel was a strong, steady heartbeat, pulsing in sync with something else—something _very_ familiar as fingers gently ran through my hair.

“It’s going to be just fine!” I was told in such a soothing tone. “Why? Because Da Vinci-chan is here…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another long chapter! It’s on me~!
> 
> Also, before anything, I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. I have long since redacted the previous chapter’s claim regarding Goa’s appearance out of spite, thanks to some asshole who complained about the previous descriptor in that Goa wasn’t as busty as Gudako (who isn’t that busty to begin with, but tell that to fan artists). So thanks to that, Goa is now flat as a fucking board!
> 
> Also, the long hair is another thing that _also_ started as a joke that stuck around for various reasons, so that’s gonna stay! Anyways, sorry I took so long with this one, but that fucking kiss scene, which was added in as a joke because of the discord chat, ended up screwing me over because apparently, I can’t write stuff like that so easily. So that scene took me like maybe THREE fucking days to write. Like, Jesus fuck!
> 
> And because of that, a new trend has began in the Gacha Meme Hell, in that for every Singularity, I will be issued a challenge by the chat for what Goa has to go through, which I have to write. It’s stuff that I haven’t exactly written before, so…let’s see how THAT goes. Feel free to suggest anything if you have it, just keep it smut-free (I say this because when I mentioned smut in the chat, **Alicitzen** was owo).
> 
> So I’m a hella filthy casual when it comes to Nasuverse lore, so huge-ass kudos to **Alicitzen** , **Lyrecho** , and **ShadedCat** for helping me fill in the gaps. Also huge thanks to **Alicitzen** for the Crunchyroll guest pass that I used to binge watch _Unlimited Blade Works_ , so we’re officially in business now. By the by, that’s also part of the reason why I took so long with this chapter.
> 
> Many thanks to the guys on spacebattles for pointing out that Servants can sense each other, so this was a great way to introduce Craft Essences and also fix what could’ve been a plot hole. It ended up being a plot point, so it worked out anyways!!
> 
> So another reason I was late is because I’ve also been busy with FGO, thanks to the summer event. By the by, Tamalancer came home on a ticket and I still have no idea how to react, mostly because I already got Tammy on the guaranteed gacha and I was hoping for the lesbian pirates.
> 
> This is about it for now, but do feel free to leave a comment or something, especially if you have any questions. Just don’t complain about Goa’s lack of tits, cuz I was being serious when I said I did that out of spite. The Gacha Meme Hell chat can back me up on that. Anyways, until next time, everyone!


	4. Comrades and Cadavers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my maternal grandfather and **Lyrecho** ’s friend.

 

I wasn’t sure for how long I was crying, but I eventually calmed down. My sobs have since turned into hiccups, which were somewhat muffled as my face was still being pressed into a woman’s ample chest. I’m certainly feeling a lot better…if a bit awkward.

_Soft…_

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad position to be in, it’s just…I don’t know who this lady is. All I know is her name, which is Da Vinci, and that raises up so many questions if this lady is who I _think_ she’s supposed to be. Although, I’m probably just overthinking things, considering that anything is possible in a world where King Arthur is a woman.

_Like dimension hopping._

Or whatever the fuck it was that put me in a completely different body—is there a term for that? I feel that there is, but nothing’s coming to me.

“Fou!” And it seems that Fou is still alive! “Kyuu!!”

The little ball of fluff forced his way between me and Da Vinci, putting some distance between the two of us.

“Ahh, are you hungry?” Da Vinci doesn’t seem to mind the intrusion. “Sorry if it feels like I’ve been ignoring you.”

Fou doesn’t give Da Vinci much of a response and instead, just takes to tugging on my hair.

“Oww!” That really hurts, you little…rabbit thing—what even are you?!

“I’ll let her go once I’ve gotten a good look at her.” That’s all I get as a warning before a gloved hand tilts my chin up. “Fufuuun…now that’s how a main character should be!”

I blinked, my eyes still somewhat wet with tears. I felt my face heating up as I got a better look at Da Vinci. She was absolutely stunning, with long, dark brown hair and blue eyes framed by long lashes. She had fair skin and the most pleasant laugh that I have ever heard.

_Ba-dump!_

“Ahhh…” I had no idea what to say.

“Surprised that you were comforted by such a beauty?” Da Vinci smiled. “I understand, but I’m used to it. You aren’t that bad yourself, although your attire could use some improvement…but we’ll worry about that later! Right now, it seems that there’s someone who’s waiting for you!”

“Fou!” Fou cried out, almost as if he was agreeing with Da Vinci.

“If I recall correctly, they should be in the Command Room.” Da Vinci gave my head a few gentle pats. “Try not to push yourself too hard, okay?”

“Uhhh…” Unable to find my voice, I just nodded my head.

“In the meantime, it seems we have guests!” Da Vinci turned her attention to the man that had just entered the room. “Ahh, Corvin—it’s good to see you!”

Corvin was an especially tall man, with tanned skin and short, black hair that’s white at the tips. He appeared to be a few years older than me and, upon closer look, wasn’t alone, for he was carrying a young man on his back.

“What…the fuck…is up?” he asked between pants, his legs growing more and more unstable with each passing second. “I’m gonna…uuugh…”

He passed out onto the floor after that, with the young man still on his back. The impact his body had against the floor was enough to wake the young man on his back.

“Where am I?” he asked, surprising me somewhat with how _deep_ his voice was. He lifted his head, revealing a rather pretty face with dark blue eyes, brown skin, and long, pink hair.

“Oh my…” Da Vinci sighed. “One wakes up, while the other passes out…”

“Da Vinci, stop doing nothing and help me…” The pink-haired man groaned, his hand immediately going to his head.

“Well, I think that’s a good sign as any to leave!” Da Vinci clapped her hands together with a smile on her face. “We’ll talk more later, Noa!”

It doesn’t really occur to me until after I had left that Da Vinci somehow knew my name…despite me never telling it to her.

_Okay._

I guess I’ll just ask her when I see her again. In the meantime, I needed to head towards the Command Room. Fou leads the way, waiting patiently for me to catch up as I struggled to move my legs.

“Oww…oww…” I really hate how sore I am, because this could go by a lot faster if I can just _run_. Instead, I’m just leaning against the wall for support, ignoring whatever urge I had to collapse. “Oww…”

“Fou!” Fou called out to me.

“I know, Fou—I just need a moment!” I can already tell that I’m going to be feeling this all week. It’s sure gonna suck, but hey—at least I’m alive. “Pained, but alive…”

“You need some help, Missy?” I froze still, not knowing how else to react to that question.

_It can’t be…can it?_

Slowly, I turned my head, nearly screaming at the sight of the last person I thought I’d ever see. “Caster!”

There he stood, still as tall as ever with that same, stupid smile on his face. “I thought I told you to summon me as a Lancer.”

There was so much that I wanted to say to him. So, _so_ much…but I didn’t. Instead, I just ran to him, ignoring the intense pain in my legs as threw myself at him. My arms wrapped around his waist and I buried my face into his chest. I tried my hardest not to cry, but a few tears still slipped out anyways as he patted my head.

“Did you miss me?” There was something about the way he asked that question. It’s not that he didn’t know the answer already—it was that he was surprised.

“Why wouldn’t I?” My voice was muffled by Caster’s chest, but from the way his arms wrapped around me, I could tell that he heard me.

“Is that so?” Caster laughed, sounding genuinely touched. “C’mon, it hasn’t been that long since we last seen each other… It’s okay, Missy—I’m not goin’ anywhere for a long, long time.”

I cried again, not knowing how else to react. I was just so _happy_ that at least one familiar face had returned.

_So very, very happy._

“Good to see that you haven’t changed much, Missy!” Caster laughed as he ruffled my hair. “Wouldn’t have it any other way…”

I’m not sure if he’s talking about my crybaby tendencies or the fact that I’m still dressed in nothing but my skivvies. You’d think that I’d start giving a damn, but nah…it’s the least of my worries at this point.

“As much as I’d love to stay like this a little while longer, there’s somethin’ I have to do first.” Without much warning, Caster hooked his hands under my arms and lifted me up into the air. “Hope you don’t mind!”

_Motherfucker!_

“Ahh!” I stopped crying almost immediately out of shock. “Drop me and I’ll slap you!”

“Have a little more faith in me, Missy!” Caster shook off my threat as he hoisted me onto his shoulders. “I’m your Servant now, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah…” Heat rushed to my cheeks when I felt Caster’s hands touch my legs. “H-Hey!”

“You don’t wanna fall, do you?” He only laughed when I smacked his head for messing around. “Jokes aside, you really shouldn’t push yourself, Master.”

There was something about the way he just called me ‘Master’ in place of ‘Missy’ that just rubbed me the wrong way. “Caster?”

Something was wrong, and I wanted to know why.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it,” Caster told me, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “If you’re hurt, say so. If you’re sad, don’t smile and just keep it in. Your problems are now my problems. I’m countin’ on you to know your limits—you can at least do that, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah…” I nodded my head. “S-Sorry…”

“I don’t expect you to know them now, of course,” Caster quickly reassured me. “The way I see it, you’re still learnin’. When was the last time you’ve used your magic circuits?”

“Uhhhh…” I’m drawing nothing but blanks.

“That’s not a good sign.” Caster sighed. “Though, it does explain a lot…”

“Is that bad?” I know next to nothing about the technicalities of how magic works in this world, especially in regards to this new body of mine.

“Well…you’re not dyin’.” That’s comforting. “So I’d say a good meal and a few days of rest should fix you up.”

_Growl._

“Sh-Shup…” I averted my gaze, feeling far too embarrassed over how loud that was. Caster wasn’t helping, with how loud he started laughing.

“We’ll get you somethin’ to eat afterwards.” Caster started walking down the hallway in the direction where Fou was sitting, just patiently waiting for the two of us. “And you can call me Cú if you want to.”

“Cú…” It’s so weird, since the Cú I know is a Lancer. It’s certainly going to take me some time getting used to it. But I suppose time is all I really have now…amongst other things.

…

…

The Central Command Room was still as much of a mess as ever, but not as much as it was when I was here previously. It helps that Mash was currently in the middle of cleaning up the debris. Siegfried was at her side, helping her out every so often when she came across debris that was too large to move by using his sword to break it up into more manageable sizes.

Roman was nearby, currently talking to Robin Hood before screaming when a few pieces of rubble landed in his direction. He turned towards Siegfried and yelled at him, saying, “A little warning next time, please?!”

“Sorry…” Siegfried said as he put away his sword.

They almost didn’t notice us… _almost_.

“Yo!” If they weren’t aware of us before, then they sure as hell were now, thanks to Cú calling out to them. “I brought Missy!”

“Senpai!” Mash reacted instantly to my presence, dropping everything she had in her arms to run over to Cú and I. “You’re awake!!”

“Yeah, I am!” I never realized how _relieved_ I was to see Mash again. I could have lost her—just like Olga Marie. I could have lost **everyone** …but I didn’t. I laughed, feeling somewhat lightheaded as I rested my arms on Cú’s head. “Ahahaha…Mash?”

“Yes, Senpai?” She blinked.

“Thank you.” For not leaving me alone.

_For staying with me this entire time._

Mash smiled. “I should be the one thanking you. I was able to stay conscious, thanks to you. We both were.”

She looked over her shoulder at Siegfried, who had taken over for Mash in her absence. He paused for a moment and then turned his head, having noticed her gaze. He just nodded his head and then continued with his task.

“He was really worried about you when you didn’t wake up,” Mash remarked. “Well…we both were.”

“I had to convince the two of them to leave you alone in the infirmary.” Cú patted my leg to get my attention. “Must feel nice to be so loved.”

“Aww, I love you too!” I said before lightly jabbing my heel into Cú’s stomach. “Watch the legs.”

“Any time!” Cú laughed, not caring that his comment earned him another jab. If anything, that only seemed to encourage him.

_Geez, guess I’ll have to get used to that…_

It’s not bad or anything, it’s just a little distracting at times.

“Not to cut the reunion short, but there’s something important that I need to say.” Roman walked over to us, his gaze currently focused on the clipboard he had in his hands. “Well…it can wait until later. For now, we need to focus on finding the rest of the surviving staff of Chaldea. Of the surviving staff, only Corvin and Lumaria have been accounted for as found and since you’re here…maybe you can get Archer to be a bit more obedient?”

“Oh—right.” I forgot that Robin Hood was only willing to help on his own terms. “Umm…Archer?”

 Robin Hood didn’t respond and instead, just lit the cigarette he had in his mouth.

“Hey—no smoking!” Roman rushed over to Robin Hood and tried to snatch the cigarette out of his mouth. “This is a smoke-free zone!”

Robin Hood responded by jumping out of his reach, taking a long drag of his cigarette afterwards before exhaling a long stream of smoke from his mouth. Roman stared at him with such an exasperated look, coughing a few times when the smell of tobacco suddenly wafted in his direction.

“Hey!” I called out to Robin Hood, feeling rather annoyed with his behavior. “Stop that!”

This time, he looked in my direction. “Ohh?”

“I’m your Master!” Somehow…I don’t know why I have more than one Servant, but I guess whatever information I have regarding the _Fate_ series doesn’t apply here…for the most part. “And as your Master, I want you to at least behave!”

“Or what?” Robin Hood placed his hand on his hip.

“Siegfried!” I shouted.

Without much warning, Siegfried appeared behind Robin Hood. There was a notable size difference between the two, which seemed to work in Siegfried’s favor when he effortlessly pinned Robin Hood’s arms to his sides in a grappling hold. Robin Hood didn’t struggle, not even when Siegfried lifted him off the floor and carried him to us.

I had Cú set me down so that I could walk over to Siegfried and Robin Hood. I ignored the pain in my legs as I stared up at Robin Hood, trying my best to look him in the eye despite his hood obscuring the top half of his face.

“You see that?” I placed my hands on my hips. “That’s what’ll happen if you misbehave.”

Don’t think I won’t use that Craft Essence I gave Siegfried to our complete advantage, because I will!

“Missy’s not one to make threats so lightly.” Cú rested his staff across his shoulders. “At least, not when it involves Siegfried.”

“Damn straight!” I folded my arms across my chest, trying my best to come off as intimidating as I can. Kind of hard, when you’re like super short and dressed in pastel yellow lingerie. Of course, that won’t stop me from trying! “So are we gonna do this the easy way or the hard way, because I rather not use a Command Seal!”

Robin Hood didn’t respond at first, just staring down at me as his cigarette burning slowly in his mouth. As soon as he realized I was being serious, he burst into a loud fit of laughter. His cigarette fell to the floor as a result, which I quickly smashed under my boot.

“What’s so funny?” I asked him, feeling rather annoyed by his laughter.

“It seems I have nothing to worry about, Master.” A wide grin crossed his expression. “I’ll listen to what you have to say.”

“Good!” I nodded my head. “You can put him down, Siegfried.”

Siegfried released Robin Hood, letting him drop to his feet. He kept a close eye on the Archer, wary that he might go back on his word now that he was free.

“I’ll do what I can in my own way,” Robin Hood said as he removed his cloak. “So long as it’s fine with you, Master.”

“It’s Noa!” I corrected him, wanting him to at least know my name before he goes calling me Master.

“Okay, okay!” He caught me by surprise when he draped his cloak over my shoulders. “You must have been through a lot, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah…” I honestly had no idea how to react after that. I was prepared for mischief, not…whatever _this_ is. “Ummm…!”

“Keep it—you might get hurt.” It’s a lot more awkward, now that I can see Robin Hood’s face.

_Why is everyone so fucking hot?!_

_Ba-dump!_

“Haaa…” I swallowed hard as heat rushed to my cheeks.

“You sure are small, Master!” Robin Hood grinned as he ruffled my hair. “Let me know if you guys need anything, I’m about to go search for survivors.”

“Okay.” I nodded my head, thinking that was it…only for Robin Hood to lift me off the floor. “What the fuck?!”

“I’ll be taking Master along!” Robin Hood said as he threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “Don’t worry—I’ll keep her safe.”

“You don’t _do_ that!!!” I shrieked, pounding my fists on his back. “That’s ruuuude!”

Robin Hood only laughed as he went on his way, not paying much attention to me as I continued hitting his back. Roman sighed and shook his head before saying something I couldn’t quite catch. It must have been an order, because Mash went after us while Siegfried and Cú stayed behind with Roman.

…

Eventually, I just resigned myself to my current position, just watching Mash as she followed us.

“It should be around here…” Robin Hood murmured to himself.

“Umm, where are we going?” Mash finally spoke.

“The kitchen.” Robin Hood looked over his shoulder at Mash. “Might be a good idea to get Master something to eat.”

_Growl._

“Don’t say anything.” Not a god damn word!

“If that’s where you want to go, I can lead the way!” Mash suggested. “One of the survivors is currently in the kitchen. Since she hasn’t shown up, I’m guessing that she’s trapped.”

“I guess that means we gotta break down a door.” Robin Hood sighed. “It’s never easy, is it?”

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if it was.” That’s just how it is on this bitch of an Earth. “So are you gonna put me down or no?”

“Let me think about that—no.” Robin Hood didn’t even hesitate.

“It’s for the best, Senpai, since you’re likely still exhausted.” Not helping, Mash!

“Uuurgh, could you at least not carry me like a sack of potatoes?” It’s not comfortable, especially with how sore and exhausted I still am…

“If that’s what you want.” I should’ve specified, because the next thing I knew, Robin Hood was carrying me in his arms, with one arm under my legs and the other supporting my back. “You can wrap your arms around my neck if you want.”

_What the fuck is this shoujo bullshit?!_

An incoherent string of words left my mouth, earning a few laughs from Robin Hood.

“Please don’t tease Senpai!” Mash piped up. “She’s had enough for one day.”

I’ve had enough for this lifetime…

…

As it turned out, Robin Hood did have to break down a door. And when he did, what we found inside was a young woman with a dark brown hair in a messy bun and a peach-toned complexion. She was sitting in the corner of the kitchen with a bunch of snack foods on the floor around her, currently eating churros. She stared at us with hazel eyes behind a pair of big, square framed glasses, her mouth currently full of food.

In a way, it reminded me of when I first met Roman. Except, I don’t think any of us were supposed to see this, from the way she just said, with her mouth full of churros, “Please don’t tell anyone.”

So that was how we met Navi Flores, one of Chaldea’s cooks…probably one of the only cooks left, as everyone else seems to be missing or dead.

“I’m pretty sure they’re dead,” she said before offering us a churro. “Just made these, by the way. So they’re fresh.”

“You’re oddly calm,” I said as I took the churro.

“Oh, I’m not calm.” Navi laughed. “You see this? This is stress and I’m eating because of it.”

“That explains the snack food on the floor.” Robin Hood ran his fingers through his hair. “You have any real food on you?”

“I can make it if you want, you just gotta give me some time.” Navi stood up, taking a moment to brush off the sugar and crumbs on her clothes. “Food should still be good, despite what happened.”

“We should consider ourselves lucky.” Mash sighed. “I’ll report this to the Doctor.”

“Just don’t mention my stress-eating—not everyone needs to know!” Navi opened the fridge and started looking through it, ignoring Mash as she walked up behind her.

“Isn’t that the staff refrigerator?” Mash asked.

“The dead can’t be mad if we eat their food.” Navi looked over her shoulder at Mash. “It’ll be fiiine.”

“So much for respect for the dead.” Robin Hood huffed a laugh.

“They died and left me here alone. What part of that deserves respect?” Navi made her point as she dropped an armload of food onto the table. “Alright, the microwave is over there, just grab whatever and eat—except for that, because that’s mine!”

She snatched a Tupperware container out of Robin Hood’s hands and made her way over to the microwave.

Fast-forward to like ten minutes later, Robin Hood was eating a sandwich, I was halfway through a container full of fried rice, Navi was stuffing her mouth full of pasta, and Mash was calmly eating what seemed to be a well-made hamburger steak. Things could be worse, but I was at least feeling a lot more energized once I had finished eating.

Navi went on her way afterwards, taking an armload of snack food with her as she left the kitchen for the infirmary. “Corvin might appreciate it, because I don’t think he’s eaten all week.”

“How the fuck is he still alive?” I’m pretty that people _need_ to eat in order to live.

“I honestly don’t know.” Navi was at a loss for words. “You think a necromancer can revive his will to live?”

“Maybe you oughta ask him that,” Robin Hood said.

“I should!” Navi nodded her head. “Welp…see ya around! Good luck finding everyone else!”

…

…

“I am concerned about the well-being of your employees.” I turned to Mash, who seemed just as concerned as I am.

“The feeling is mutual, Senpai…” Mash sighed before suddenly freezing. “…!”

“Uhh, Mash?” I frowned, wondering if something was wrong.

“There’s something…” She looked around the area, scanning the kitchen for any abnormalities. “ _Off_.”

“Yeah, I was wondering if that was just me,” Robin Hood admitted. “Apparently not…”

_I don’t like the sound of that._

Things only proceeded to get worse when an unhinged masculine voice whispered into my ear, hot air tickling my ear. “It looks like you’ve hit the jackpot, Master~.”

It was so sudden, so… _uncomfortable_. I opened my mouth to say something, only for my voice to die completely in my throat when a _long_ , wet appendage licked the outer shell of my ear.

“AAaahh…!” A squeak leaves my mouth, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes as I watched a pair of arms appear around my neck.

_What the actual fuck?!_

Slowly, I turned my head, wondering who the _fuck_ was invading my personal bubble. I wish I hadn’t, because I soon found myself staring into a pair of mauve-colored eyes belonging to some motherfucker with a freakishly _long_ tongue. He had lavender-colored hair that curled up at the tips and lips painted a pale shade of cyan. There were light purple markings under his eyes, the color standing out far too noticeably on his unnaturally pale skin. He wore a hat on his head that decorated with a small clock at the center, with a pair of horns curving outwards from it.

“I am the devil, Mephistopheles,” he spoke, his tongue still out of his mouth in a manner that reminded me eerily of Genocider Syo. “And I have been called upon to serve you, my tiny Master.”

I have never been so glad to hear Mash scream. It took her a minute, but she _finally_ noticed that something was clearly wrong with me and my silence.

“Get away from Senpai!” Mash lashed out at the self-proclaimed devil, doing whatever she can to get me as far as way as possible from him. She had no such luck, as Mephistopheles didn’t seem so keen on releasing me just yet from the way he effortlessly blocked her hand.

“Too slow!” he laughed, sounding far too amused for my own comfort. “Master’s been with you long enough, so it’s only fair for me to have a turn!”

I’d rather get a lobotomy, thank you very much!

“Ohh, that can easily be arranged!” Fuck—I forgot that Servants can read minds! “Only if we want too~!”

_Get out of my head!_

A shriek left my mouth when Mephistopheles suddenly jumped into the air, taking me with him. He landed halfway across the kitchen, laughing manically at the arrow that had almost struck him.

“The next one is going through your head if you don’t release Master.” Robin Hood aimed the crossbow on his arm at Mephistopheles.

“You certainly drive a hard bargain.” Regardless of the severity of Robin Hood’s threat, Mephistopheles still treated it as though it were a mere joke. “Consider yourself fortunate, Master—it seems our meeting will have to be rescheduled.”

He dropped me carelessly onto the floor without saying another word. He laughed loudly as his body vanished into thin air, barely avoiding an arrow that would have gone right through his left eye.

 ** _“Do try to keep me entertained, Master!”_** his voice echoed in my head. **_“Lest you meet the same fate as Faust…”_**

I swallowed audibly, tears soon rolling down my cheeks. My body wouldn’t stop shaking and my heart was pounding so hard within my chest that it felt like it was going to explode. It was hard to stay calm and I almost cried when Mash’s arms wrapped around my body in an embrace.

“I’m sorry, Senpai!” she told me in such an apologetic tone. “I should’ve been more careful! If not, he could’ve…”

She had no idea what Mephistopheles could have done, and neither did I. All we knew is that he could’ve done _something_ and just that thought alone was far scarier than if we _had_ known. I wasn’t even sure if he was being serious, or just fucking around…

_I don’t think I want to know…_

“I…should tell the Doctor.” Mash exhaled shakily as she held up her wrist.

“Y-Yeah…” Jesus _fuck_ , why me?!

“I’ll keep an eye out for the bastard.” Robin Hood loaded another arrow into his crossbow. “I don’t sense his presence, but you can never be too sure.”

“How the fuck did he even get the drop on us?!” Aren’t you guys supposed to sense each other?!

“From the looks of it, he’s been here for quite some time—long enough to not exactly mask his presence, but rather…blend in,” Robin Hood explained. “It’s a lot more noticeable now, since he’s gone.”

“So…what you’re saying is that he’s been here this entire time.” Meaning he watched us raid the fridge…meaning Navi had been _alone_ with this motherfucker for god knows how long. “We should keep this from Navi.”

“I agree.” Mash nodded her head.

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Robin Hood was on the same page as us. “Hopefully, she didn’t hear anything, or else we have a lot of explaining to do.”

“We should leave—like right now.” I don’t know about you guys, but I rather not stick around in case Mephistopheles feels like coming back for round two.

_I can still feel his tongue on my ear…_

We boarded the elevator and headed downwards to the floor below us. We decided to work our way down before going up now that there was nothing left for us to investigate on this floor. A lot happened while I was unconscious, which involved cleaning up debris and moving around a lot of dead bodies.

“Yikes.” I am pretty glad I wasn’t awake for _that_.

“I think Navi is the only one who made it out alive at the time of the fire,” Mash said, pausing for a moment to think. “On that floor, I mean, since everyone else…”

“I get the picture.” Lev knew what he was doing, though Navi was certainly lucky that the kitchen had been the least of his priorities when he set this place on fire. I mean, I assumed it was since it came out completely unscathed, unlike the Command Room…

“So what’s on this floor?” Robin Hood asked as we exited the elevator, having reached our stop.

“This is supposed to be research and development,” Mash replied. “There are quite a number of laboratories here, although…there might not be much use for them. Not anymore, at least.”

I can see why, considering the amount of debris covering the floors and the smell of smoke lingering in the air… No dead bodies, so far.

_So far…_

It took less than five minutes for me to come across my first dead body. Let me tell you how that went, considering it wasn’t even on the floor. It was fucking floating in midair!

“Holy shit, what the fuck?!” I screamed as I hid behind Mash. “Bodies don’t float!”

“They’re not supposed to…” Mash was just as freaked out as I was.

Robin Hood, on the other hand, was as calm as can be. He picked up a small piece of rubble on the floor and then threw it at the body. The rubble bounced off the corpse and instead of falling to the floor, it just stayed in midair.

“Ahh, so it is magic.” Robin Hood nodded his head. “Seems we have a mage on this floor who’s still alive.”

“Yeah, that would be Lilith,” a voice spoke up.

“Who the fuck?!” It came seemingly out of nowhere…at least until I looked up and saw fair-skinned young man with blue eyes and wavy, ash-blonde hair. He was just floating alongside a massive amount of debris.

“Glad you could make it. Sorry about the mess, things are a bit…floaty at the moment.” He forced a smile, sarcasm thinly-veiled in his tone. “Name’s Grim, by the way. I wouldn’t recommend taking another step closer—not unless you like defying gravity.”

Yeah, I rather not. “So…who’s Lilith?”

“Give me a second—yeah, he’s right over there.” Grim pointed at the young man with black hair and steel blue eyes that had hovered into view. “Say hi, Lilith.”

Lilith just waved his hand, looking far too focused to do anything else.

“Yeah, he doesn’t talk much…well, he does—but his interpreter’s kinda…dead.” Grim laughed nervously as he watched a bloodied corpse float by him. “I think that’s them…whatever’s left of them.”

Oh god, I didn’t need to see that… “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“You and me, Master.” Robin Hood’s face contorted in disgust. “This floor got hit pretty hard…”

“That’s quite the understatement…then again, you weren’t the one who had to see a bunch of his coworkers get eaten alive by worms.” Grim was being far too casual for someone who saw something so horrific.

“What the fuck?!” Do I even _want_ to know?

“Well, a while back, we got a weird-looking artifact sent to us,” Grim began. “Turns out that it was actually a nest of man-eating mage worms with one hell of a rage boner. Course, no one would've known that until _after_ the tremors from the explosion cracked it open, and said worms decided to eat half of the science team’s intestines.”

“How are you not dead?” First Navi, now Grim?

“I picked the shortest straw and went out for coffee.” Grim laughed halfheartedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Imagine the shock I got when I came back…”

“So what did you do after that?” Mash asked.

“I followed standard procedure in the event of a possible outbreak and violently decontaminated the lab in question,” Grim answered as though it was obvious.

It apparently wasn’t, considering the looks of confusion on our faces. A minute passed before Grim sighed and decided to clarify.

“I pressed the big red button next to the door and torched their asses.” It sounded a lot less cool than what he previously said, though now we had better context. “So any chance you can help us get down? I’m sure that helpful lad down the hall might appreciate the assistance.”

“Lad?” I furrowed my brow. “Who else is here?”

“That’d be a Servant.” Robin Hood squinted his eyes as he looked down the hallway. “I think he’s headed this way.”

“Oh god, please don’t let it be Mephistopheles…” I’d rather not see him again.

“I don’t think Mephistopheles was wearing red.” Mash never fails to disappoint. “Why is there a small puddle of water floating?”

“That would be the tears.” Grim sighed. “Part of those are mine—most of them are Lilith’s.”

“Most of them are especially Lilith’s.” A very familiar face decided to show himself, making every fucking alarm in my head go off as I hid behind Mash.

“Oh god, it’s _you_ again!” I was not prepared to see EMIYA so fucking soon, after all that had happened in Singularity F.

“I’m guessing you’re my Master.” Emiya was as calm as ever as he picked out the pieces of debris in the air. “I suppose things could be worse, having such a novice mage as a Master.”

“What do you mean novice?” I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near experienced enough to _be_ a novice.

_As far as I know._

“You are extremely out of your element,” Emiya stated. “Not yet capable of using your circuits to their full capacity. And yet…you were somehow able to summon me as your Servant, amongst many others.”

“Yo!” Robin Hood waved his hand at Emiya when his gaze fell on him.

“As I was saying…” Emiya turned his attention back on me. “You are quite the anomaly in this predicament.”

“You try anything funny and I won’t hesitate, _bitch_!” I held up my right hand, showing my Command Seals to Emiya. At least now, I have the upper hand!

Emiya huffed out a laugh. “No need to be so on edge, Master. I won’t turn on you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’d be more worried about stressing out Lilith…” A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Grim’s face. “He’s literally one breakdown away from crushing us…”

Lilith nodded his head frantically, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I’ve been doing as best as I can to minimize the amount of debris in the air,” Emiya explained. “I would appreciate it if you would be so kind to help out, as it would speed things up a little.”

“I’ll help.” Mash stepped forward, somehow managing to stay on the floor and not float into the air like Lilith and Grim. “My magic resistance should be useful for this situation.”

“You do that,” Robin Hood said, taking a few steps back. “My resistance isn’t as good as yours, so I’ll just keep an eye on Master.”

“And I’ll just…report to Roman, I guess.” It’s all I can really do, since I’m effectively useless here.

It takes more than an hour for Emiya and Mash to minimize the amount of debris in the air. During that time, Robin Hood and I were just exploring the other half of the floor that wasn’t off-limits because of Lilith’s magic. We ended up coming back the instant we caught sight of still-burning corpses when we peered into a laboratory out of curiosity. Gotta say, the smell of charred human flesh is something that will never sit well in my stomach and I really could have gone my entire life without ever being able to recognize the smell in the first place.

As soon as we came back, Grim collapsed onto the floor alongside the rest of the debris in the air while Emiya held out his arms and caught Lilith as he fell.

_Thud!_

“That could have gone better…” Grim groaned. “Feels good to let gravity do its work.”

Lilith didn’t say anything and instead, just wrapped his arms around Emiya’s neck and kissed his cheek before hopping down onto the floor to help Grim up.

“Thanks, Lilith…wish I understood sign language.” Grim sighed when Lilith signed him a response. “I think there might be a couple of books on it in the library…oh crap—the library.”

“I think we should head there next,” Mash suggested. “I don’t sense any other Servants on this floor, and Archer has confirmed that Grim and Lilith are the only survivors.”

“Unfortunately.” Emiya shook his head, sounding rather disappointed.

“How’s that for bad luck…” Grim ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess I’ll just head to the infirmary—might’ve bumped my head too hard during the quake, I honestly don’t know.”

Lilith grabbed Grim by the hand and started dragging him towards the elevator.

“I’m fine now,” Grim reassured him, though Lilith wasn’t at all convinced.

…

“So…” I said a few minutes after Lilith and Grim had left. “We’re currently on a mission to look for survivors and I think it’d be nice if you could help out.”

It feels awkward asking Emiya for help, but he doesn’t seem to be anything like the asshole that tried to kill me in Fuyuki City. So I guess I can trust him…but I still won’t hesitate if he tries anything funny.

“Just so you know, I’ve already checked the floor below us.” That’s not what I asked, but thanks for letting us know. “As for your offer…I might as well. I don’t exactly trust you to stay out of harm’s way.”

“That’s fair.” But at the same time… “Fuck you.”

Emiya barked out a laugh, obviously finding my response amusing. He took his leave, his hand reaching out to ruffle my hair as he walked by me. Then, without even giving me a chance to react, he said, “You wish.”

I choked on my own spit.

…

…

After miraculously surviving an attempt on my life…

“It was just a joke.” Emiya only laughed as he watched me struggle to break out of Mash’s hold.

“Senpai, please calm down!” Mash had her arms wrapped around my waist, doing her absolute best to keep me from mauling Emiya.

“Might want to at least wait until we’ve reached B1,” Robin Hood said as he leaned against the wall, his gaze focused on the floor indicator’s LED screen. “Wouldn’t recommend getting into any fights on this thing.”

I know he has a point, but my anger says otherwise as Emiya continued to laugh at me. He sure is a lot more mellow without the Ghost of Christmas Past around to taunt him for what he considers his past mistakes. Of course, that’s not stopping me from getting back at him for that completely unnecessary comment.

_I will get my revenge for that fucking mental image that I **so** did not need!_

I _really_ regret every looking up any doujins for this series. Aside from the typical cursed content, it’s fucking awkward having somewhat of an idea of how Emiya looks without a shirt. As if his fucking outfit didn’t already accentuate those eye-catching muscles of his…

_Stupid, sexy Emiya…_

The next floor was in comparatively better shape than research and development. Comparatively, as in it was devoid of debris clogging up the halls and hiding any cadavers. The downside was that sections of the floor had caved in, leaving gaps in our path and making it otherwise difficult to get by without any issues.

_C-CCRAAAASH!_

I should also mention that flooring was unstable in places, caving in almost seconds after I had taken a single step. I stared down at the floor beneath us as Emiya held me by the back of the cloak that Robin Hood had lent me.

“Motherfucker…” I exhaled loudly in annoyance.

“You havin’ fun, Missy?” Hello, Cú—when did you get here? “I was in the middle of fixin’ things when you dropped in to say hello.”

“Shouldn’t you be a Lancer?” I heard Emiya ask Cú.

“I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” Cú averted his gaze, deliberately playing dumb. “You better keep an eye on Missy, or else…”

“Just focus on patching these gaps.” Emiya pulled me upwards after that. He set me down by Mash, who checked me for any injuries.

“You can never be too sure, Senpai.” Mash certainly had a point.

“Just come to me if ya need any healin’!” Cú called out seconds before closing up the hole in the floor, using what I can only assume was magic.

“I want that.” I know I’ll never be able to get on Cú’s level, but still…I want that.

“Do you really?” Emiya asked, his question proving to be somewhat of a mood killer.

“Nope.” I’m not taking any chances if Emiya acts like he knows better than me, because nine times out of ten, he _does_ know better. That one out of ten probability that he doesn’t know any better is exclusively reserved for the time he tried to kill his past self, regardless of the possible consequences that could have ensued.

…

So apart from some gaps in the floor and the possibility that it could likely cave in under our weight, the floors were also wet. How did I find out?

“Waaugh!”

_Thud!_

I slipped and crashed into some blond guy as he walked out of a room. His chest muffled whatever sound came out of my mouth after our collision, his arms instinctively wrapping around me as he staggered back a few steps.

_Thud!_

Of course, like me, the poor dude also slipped on the water, causing him to lose his footing. He landed roughly against the floor, my weight doing nothing but contributing to his discomfort. I’d apologize for the inconvenience…

“Uuuugh…” But I don’t think I’m in any state to talk right now.

“Senpai!” Mash called out to me.

I don’t remember much after that, since I was pretty out of it for like the next six minutes or so. When I had come to, no longer dazed and muttering incomprehensible gibberish, I found myself still wrapped in someone’s arms.

“Are you unharmed, Master?” I’m asked by the last guy who should be asking anyone that after I had crashed into him.

“You…” I said, still needing a moment to collect my thoughts. “Worry about yourself.”

Because I’m pretty sure that hurt you more than it hurt me.

“Oh, I’m completely fine!” That’s good to hear…whoever you are. “I’m more concerned about your wellbeing, since it seems you’re suffering from a concussion.”

_When did that—oh, that explosion…right._

“You shouldn’t be out and about, Master!” he scolded me, his expression somewhat stern.

_Master?_

Oh god, not another one… “Who are you?”

How many of you guys did I even summon?!

“Pardon me—my name is Henry Jekyll.” Why…does that sound familiar. “If you’d like, you can just call me Jekyll.”

“Noa…” I told him, taking a moment to get a good look at him. He’s got such a handsome face, with green eyes and neatly-styled blond hair. His skin is pale, and he’s dressed rather formally, which is fitting for someone who acts like such a gentleman.

_Acts…_

…

…

“Hyde!” I suddenly blurted out, causing Jekyll to cringe.

“Hyde’s…someone else.” He averted his gaze, looking somewhat ashamed. He’s likely not proud of his other self…

_Isn’t he like his exact opposite?_

I don’t fucking know, I spent most of my high school years just reading manga and whatever books I could get my hands on. I went through some pretty weird binges, like the time my AP English Literature teacher had us read _Brave New World_. I ended up reading through a good chunk of the books she had on her shelf, of which included _Animal Farm_ and _Nineteen Eighty-Four_. I would have read _Fahrenheit 451_ , but she didn’t have it and I just never got around to checking it out from the library.

_Kinda regret not doing that while I was on a roll._

I kind of regret a lot of things, actually, but I guess there are more important things at stake, since I’m not exactly the same person I used to be.

_Both literally and figuratively…_

“Umm…” Jekyll suddenly coughed, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Hmm?” I blinked.

Jekyll kept his eyes closed as he gently pushed me away from himself, putting some distance between us. He started unbuttoning his vest, which my brain took as an immediate sign to go straight into the gutter…only to crash and burn into the nearest ditch upon seeing what Jekyll’s vest had hidden. My eyes widened at the alarming sight of blood covering his dress shirt, the white fabric stained a deep shade of red.

“Y-You’re hurt!” Oh god, I probably reopened his wounds or something!

“Oh, I assure you—this isn’t my blood.” Jekyll’s tone was disturbingly calm. “Hold still for a moment, please.”

I did as I was told, allowing Jekyll to dress me in his vest without any resistance. He adjusted the cloak I wore, ensuring that everything was in place before patting me on the shoulder.

“It’s not much, but it should do you better to wear more than just a simple cloak,” he tells me with a smile on his face.

_Ba-dump!_

I pulled the cloak’s hood over my head and tried my hardest to ignore how fast my heart was beating.

“Master?”

“Don’t look at me…”

…

On Jekyll’s orders, I was being carried on Robin Hood’s back to avoid overexerting myself anymore than I already had. Emiya would’ve done it himself, but something went wrong when he tried lifting me up. Apparently, the Emiya in Singularity F left a long-lasting impression on me in the form of panic-inducing trauma. How I only found out just now is just as much of a surprise to me as it is to Emiya.

“Could be the lack of agency paired up with direct physical contact,” Jekyll suggested.

That would explain why nothing happened when Emiya ruffled my hair or when he grabbed me by the back of this cloak. Kind of sucks, because I wanted to mess with his hair.

_I wonder what kind of products he uses to style his hair…_

Well, I won’t be able to find that out any time soon, because something about Emiya raises too many fucking red flags for me, despite knowing very well that he and that asshole in Singularity F are two completely different beings.

“Stupid bone of my sword…” I muttered under my breath, earning a strange look from Emiya, who had heard me.

“What exactly happened?” Emiya turned to Mash.

“The Archer who appeared in Singularity F was, how should I say?” Mash was having issues explaining it clearly to Emiya. “He was you, but…not you, since he was tainted by Saber.”

“He tried to _kill_ me!” I blurted out, startling Robin Hood with my outburst.

“You’re right next to my ear, Master.” Robin Hood winced.

“Sorry…” I patted him on the head.

“Of course, it was more that Archer sent Berserker to kill Senpai,” Mash clarified. “Berserker is the reason why Senpai suffered a concussion…though, we only _now_ know that, thanks to Jekyll.”

“So…you find anything worth mentioning?” I decided to change the subject. “We were on the look for survivors before… _that_ happened.”

“Now that you mention it…” Jekyll began. “I found one in the library, but there wasn’t much I could do to pull them out from the bookshelf they were trapped underneath.”

“Oh my god, are they okay?!” I’m not even going bother asking how big that bookshelf is, because as far as I know, whatever the size, that has got to be pretty uncomfortable.

“Well, they’re actually fine.” Jekyll ran his fingers through his hair. “If anything, they feel a lot safer—though, they would prefer it if someone could help them out eventually.”

“So were you in the library just now or…” I’m not even sure what Jekyll was doing before I crashed into him.

Jekyll paused for a moment to think. “Yes and no…it seemed more like an archive than a main part of the library.”

“This is the floor where information is archived,” Mash chimed in with her extremely useful knowledge of this place. “A number of rooms are connected to the library, though they are closed off to anyone without special access…”

“ _How_ did you get in?” Emiya looked questioningly at Jekyll.

Jekyll coughed nervously into his hand. “My apologies, but…I may have had to break a few panels. The main entrance is blocked off, as is the emergency exit, so I didn’t have much choice but to find alternative means of escape.”

“Sounds reasonable.” I ain’t gonna blame him for breaking a few things to get out. “But I gotta say, it’s pretty inconvenient for a place to not have some sort of override in case of emergencies.”

“There _is_ an override…” Mash remarked, frowning afterwards. “But it was likely disabled, considering our current circumstances.”

My eyes narrowed. I knew exactly what she was talking about. “ **HIM**.”

“I don’t appreciate sabotage if it’s not done by me.” Robin Hood’s face contorted into a scowl. “Didn’t think that he went beyond planting bombs…seems too much work for a guy like him.”

“If it’s any consolation, we pretty much ruined everything by surviving.” I’m pretty proud of that, now that I actually think about it. I still wish Olga Marie was here, though… “Me, especially, since he underestimated me and look how _that_ went…”

Emiya laughed at my comment. “How do I always end up with the most troublesome Masters?”

“Hey, fuck you!” I’m normally a lot less hostile than this, but a part of me still thinks that Emiya is going to send Heracles after me again and it’s seriously not doing my anxiety any favors. I know he won’t do that, especially since I didn’t summon Heracles…at least, I think I didn’t?

_Oh god, I didn’t need that mental image…_

Regardless, the trauma is there and it’s going to take a while to convince my brain to get over it.

“Do you really think that I’ll hurt you?” I don’t know what I was expecting when I turned to Emiya—I really don’t know. I guess I had grown so used to the idea of Emiya, as Archer, being someone who was not so easily perturbed. Because something about the way he looked so shocked just…broke something inside of me.

_I don’t like that look._

Whatever image I had built up around him over the years had just shattered, reminding that despite how much he had changed, deep down, he was still Emiya Shirou. The same Emiya Shirou who wanted to save everyone.

_It’s still him._

“I’m sorry…” It only just dawned on me that this isn’t just affecting me… “I’m so, **so** sorry that you had to ask such a question.”

_It’s affecting him, too._

“It’s okay, Senpai—it’s okay.” It’s not okay, Mash…it’s not. “Please don’t cry…”

…

The library was a lot bigger than I was expecting and I’m not just saying that because I’m short. The library was divided into a main level and an upper floor. Currently, we were on the main level, where the front desk was located. I sat on the counter, watching as Mash, Emiya, and Robin Hood helped Jekyll lift up a massive bookshelf. The place was a freaking mess, with a massive number of books covering the floor alongside shards of glass.

Where did the glass come from, you might ask? It apparently came from the elevators at the center of the room, which were located right in between the two sets of stairs leading to the second floor. The elevators, by the way, are completely out of order and kinda bloody…

“Just what I needed—more trauma.” I let out an aggravated sigh. This place was an absolute death trap to anyone who was here during the explosion. At least the books are fine…

“Anyone fuckin’ helpin’ me?” a voice full of rage suddenly spoke out, sounding somewhat muffled, but still loud enough for me to hear. “I can hear you fuckers.”

I looked over my shoulder. I could see that there was a door across from me, likely leading to some backroom…which is probably where the voice was coming from. Guess I’ll get that, since everyone else is busy with the bookshelf.

_Thud!_

You know, I’m starting to absolutely _hate_ feeling so useless. Like, the least I can do is just hop off a freaking counter, but I guess _that’s_ asking for too much! The floor is at least pretty soft, thanks to the carpeting, but I still landed on a few hardcover books.

“Thank you padded bra…” I wheezed out, feeling quite fortunate that the padding cushioned the impact around my chest. Can’t say the same for my stomach, but I’ll live… “Work through the pain, power through it…!”

_When this is all over, I am throwing that book across the room._

I don’t know what good that’ll do, but I rather do _something_ instead of nothing. I wanted to scream so badly as I crawled towards the door. The pain still lingered, as did my rage…

“Motherfucker…” I swore under my breath. I’d yell, but I don’t want to scare anyone while they’re lifting a heavy bookshelf. Don’t want to accidentally kill or hurt someone…yeah. “Oh god, why…”

It only occurred to me, as I reached up for the doorknob, that there was a reason that person hadn’t come out from the backroom. I don’t know why it took me until I tried turning the doorknob to realize that they’re trapped.

“It fucking would be…” I resisted the urge I had to slam my forehead into the door. That didn’t stop me from pounding my fist into the door.

“Oh yeah—I’m locked from the inside.” Would’ve appreciated the heads-up, buddy! “Haha, fuck me…”

“Is there something in the way?” I asked, trying my hardest to gather up enough energy to get up.

“It’s more like…the door got crushed?” They sounded uncertain, which was never a good thing. “I don’t know, I just remembered movin’ a few cabinets out of the way before passin’ the fuck out for like a good hour. Got a little banged up by a cabinet durin’ the quake—came out okay, compared to what happened to…uh, to…some…hmmm.”

“Oh god, you’re in a room with a dead body.” That’s _baaaaad_.

“Don’t remind me—just get me out.” The person pounded on the door a few times. “All I have in here is shitty coffee and blood. Honestly, I’m pretty tired of the smell, so I’m currently considerin’ the pros and cons of using a plastic spoon to get rid of my nose.”

I don’t think a plastic spoon is strong enough to do that without breaking. “I’m on it!”

I’m gonna regret this, buuuut…fuck it!

_SLAM!_

“Oww…” Okay…okay—I probably shouldn’t have slammed my body into the door. I’m not as heavy as I used to be…kinda forgot about that.

“That sounded like it hurt…are you okay?” Oh, I’m fine…just reconsidering my life choices.

_Thud!_

I collapsed onto the floor, feeling far too exhausted and pained to do anything else. I underestimated my current condition and I can already predict the lecture that Jekyll is going to give me…

_Hooraaay…_

“Are you sure you don’t want to head to the infirmary?” Robin Hood leaned on the counter, his gaze focused on me. “You’re not looking so good.”

“Why are you here?” Don’t you have a survivor to help?

“We just finished helping Lash out—that’s his name, by the way.” He moved aside as a fairly tall young man with tan skin, shaggy brown hair, and olive-green eyes walked up to the counter. “Speaking of him…say hello to my Master, Lash.”

“Hello.” Lash waved his hand, a smile soon crossing his freckle-covered face. “Don’t mean to be rude, but who are you?”

“Noa…one of the Master Candidates?” If I sound uncertain, that’s because I am.

Lash furrowed his brow. “Hmm…I think I’ve seen that name before—right! Fujimaru Noa! You’re the last one on the list!”

“So I’ve heard…” I laughed nervously.

_Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it…_

“Almost didn’t recognize you with all that hair…how you’ve been?” Lash laughed.

“Do I know you?” Because I don’t…and I want answers.

“Oh, you don’t—and neither do I,” Lash replied. “I just recognized you because I remember coming across your file when I helped Kade out the other day.”

“Weren’t they one of the shortest Master Candidates?” the person behind the door, Kade, asked. “Lash—can you confirm?”

Lash shook his head. “Not at the moment…”

“You guys suck, you know that?” I really don’t appreciate the direction this conversation is heading.

I didn’t get much of a response after that, because Emiya showed up and hopped over the counter. He moved me out of the way, lifting me up by the back of the cloak I wore and setting me down to the side. He looked at the door, studying it for a brief moment before promptly kicking down the door. It crashed onto the floor with a heavy “Thud!”, right at the feet of a very enraged person with lightly tanned skin, brown eyes, and short black hair.

“What the fuck, dude?!” they screamed at Emiya. “Where’s my warning?!”

“I…didn’t think you needed one.” A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Emiya’s face. “My bad.”

“You need to be a little more considerate, Emiya.” It’d help in the long run.

“How…did you know my name?” OH, fuck me—he didn’t tell us _anything_ about his name!

“I…don’t have an answer to that.” Please don’t get mad… “I just…know it?”

_Don’t think this is the right time to confess I’m not the original owner of this body…_

“It might just be your contract with Senpai.” Beautiful, lovely Mash stepped in to save my ass. “It could have given her access to some information about you that would have otherwise been private.”

Emiya was not at all pleased to hear this. “I would have preferred to have revealed it on my own terms.”

“It’s kinda rude to not give people your name if you’re gonna stick around this long.” Kade walked past Emiya, giving him a light jab in his side with their elbow. “That’s for being a dick.”

“That’s fair.” Emiya didn’t even try to protest.

“Are you harmed, young…person?” Jekyll seemed a bit confused with what to make of Kade. They’re pretty androgynous, so I can understand his confusion and his hesitance to make any assumptions.

“It’s all good.” Kade gave Jekyll a thumbs-up. “A little banged up, but I’ll live.”

That’s when they crashed onto the floor in such an ungraceful manner. They landed right beside me, looking absolutely done with the world.

“Nobody say a fuckin’ thing.” Kade sounded like they were ready to stab the nearest person who dared to say anything.

Fortunately, Kade didn’t have to stab anyone. Lash helped them out, having the advantage of being really tall and strong enough to just lift Kade off the floor.

“We’re heading off to the infirmary,” Lash said, carefully maneuvering Kade so that they were comfortable in his arms. “I rather deal with the current issue at hand after getting a reasonable enough break from seeing the corpses of my coworkers.”

“Mood,” Kade deadpanned.

We all left the library at the same time, neither of us that comfortable with being around the crushed dead bodies of the Chaldea library staff…well, Emiya seemed like he was used to the sight, but that doesn’t mean he was comfortable with it. Anyways, Lash and Kade went their separate ways, leaving us as they made their way to the infirmary. We still weren’t ready to leave, as there were still a few places on this floor that we haven’t checked yet.

By now, most of the gaps in the floor had been fixed. Though, that wasn’t enough to convince my anxiety otherwise as I kept trying to ignore the thought that the floor would collapsed under us. It didn’t help that my nerves were on the fritz from seeing so much blood in the library. It’s not fun—nope.

_Gonna be seeing that in my nightmares._

It didn’t take us long to find our next survivor, which certainly said a lot considering how fucking huge this place is. Then again, it helped that Jekyll and Mash went in one direction while Robin Hood, Emiya, and I went in the opposite direction. It made it easier to cover a lot more ground…even though all I did was just hang around on Robin’s back.

“Can I call you Robin?” Robin Hood is a bit of a mouthful, now that I actually think about it…

“I don’t mind,” he said, giving my head a few pats. “Call me whatever you like, Master.”

“Robin it is!” I grinned widely as I reached out to ruffle Robin’s hair. It’s just as fluffy like I was expecting it to be… “Just like a bird!”

“Oh, you like birds, huh?” Robin was intrigued.

“They’re fluffy and soft and they make cute noises.” I just _love_ birds.

“That’s adorable.” You’re adorable.

“You two look like you’re having fun.” Emiya walks out of the room he had broken into like it’s nothing.

“Jealous?” I wrapped my arms around Robin’s neck.

“Not really.” Emiya huffed out a laugh, his gray eyes trailing downwards at the chubby young woman he carried in his arms. The young woman had hazel eyes, brown hair pulled into a ponytail, and very pale skin—it stood out a lot next to Emiya’s tanned skin.

“Listen—I love you,” she said as she patted one of Emiya’s biceps. “You and your big, strong arms…”

“Do you guys need a moment?” Robin had a wide grin on his face and a mischievous glint in his eye. “We can leave.”

“Shut it.” Emiya narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, hey—I don’t know you.” The young woman turned her attention to me and Robin. “Well…I recognize you from the camera feeds and the calls, but that’s about it. Name’s Echo and I watch everyone through the security cameras. Please don’t think I’m creepy, it’s just my job…”

“It seems she got locked in during the explosion,” Emiya explained. “Apparently, the control panel short-circuited and caused a fire.”

“Oh my god—are you okay?!” Holy fuck, this place is a freaking death trap!

“I had a fire extinguisher, so it’s _allll_ good!” Echo forced a smile. “Ignoring the fact that I burned my legs…”

“I’ll be taking her to the infirmary, so if you’ll excuse me…” Emiya started making his way past us when I reached out and grabbed him by the sleeve.

“What about the other survivors?!” You’re usually on this shit, buddy!

“I’m sorry to say, but…Kade, Lash, and I are the only ones who made it out.” Echo frowned. “If they weren’t in the library, then they were in the hallways and with the floor collapsing…”

“I…get the picture.” I grimaced.

“There are a few other survivors in the floors above us, but they’re not in any danger,” Echo continued. “The explosion mostly targeted the lower floors…you can probably guess why, since it happened during work hours.”

Have I mentioned how much I hate Lev? Because I _haaaaate_ him.

_Fucking **hate**._

“Looking back at it, I should have known something was up when I saw him hanging around the backup generators on the first floor.” Echo bit her lip. “People don’t just go there without a reason…but because it was him, I just—I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault!” I quickly reassured Echo. “He knew how much trust you guys had in him and took advantage of that. How could you predict something like that?”

“She’s right,” Emiya agreed. “He betrayed all of you, so the blame is entirely on him.”

“What pisses me off is that he planned all of this…” Echo scowled. “He didn’t even hesitate.”

“He didn’t.” I almost wanted to cry when I remembered Olga Marie’s final moments. I wanted to scream and hit something…but then Emiya patted me on the shoulder.

“There was nothing you could have done,” he told me. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

I released his sleeve, not knowing how else to react to that. I watched as he made his way down the hallway, still carrying Echo in his arms. A minute passed before he disappeared from my view. At that moment, Robin started walking in that same direction. He didn’t say anything to me at first, but then…

“I’m quite fond of colorful birds,” he said. “Bright reds and yellows…I especially like blue-colored birds.”

“…Blue is a pretty color,” I murmured out.

“Yeah, it is…” his tone was soft as he reached up to ruffle my hair.

…

…

We regrouped with Jekyll and Mash first before boarding the elevator. Our next stop was the first floor, which had come out relatively unscathed. Like, everything was still intact and seemingly functional…

_Thud!_

Seemingly…Mash had to break down a door after hearing a few knocks coming from behind it.

“Freedom!” A tall young man with pale skin and unkempt hair ran out of the room, sounding absolutely elated to be free of his supply-filled prison. He hugged the wall…literally, appearing to be on the verge of tears as he enjoyed his freedom. The young man had dark brown hair that curled up at the ends and sharp, green eyes. He didn’t seem that much older than me and was likely in his mid-twenties. “I thought I’d never escape that supply closet…”

So this was the guy who was stuck in the supply closet…yeah. “Don’t mean to be rude, but how did you get stuck?”

“I don’t know!” the young man replied unabashedly. “I was just doing my business, cleaning up some floors. I was putting stuff away when I just… _fell_ in and the door locked behind me.”

“Where were you cleaning?” I feel that there might be a connection…

“The room where the backup generators are—why?” he asked.

_And there it fucking is!_

“Dude…I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re lucky you’re alive.” Lev could’ve killed him…but he didn’t. “Holy shit, did you see anyone there?”

“I saw Lev, if that’s what you’re asking…oh, motherfucker.” The man slapped his forehead. “I was a witness!”

“That does match up with what Echo said about him…” Jekyll mused. “Guess she didn’t mention you, since it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see janitorial staff in such a place.”

“By that basis alone, everyone should know you on some level,” Robin said.

“Yeah, everyone knows me…the name’s Zangor,” the man introduced himself. “As you can tell, I am part of the janitorial staff…though not by choice, but that’s a long story. Anyways, hey Ty.”

Zangor waved at someone who seemed to be standing behind us. We turned and saw that it was a tall man with somewhat dark skin. He had dark brown hair in a buzz cut with a close-cut beard and dark brown eyes. In his hands, he held a blowtorch, which he just dropped as he exclaimed, “Well, fuck this shit! Don’t know why I needed it.”

“You tried,” Zangor said with a smile on his face.

“Not hard enough…” Ty muttered under his breath. “So…I’m Ty and I’m also part of the janitorial staff. Nice to meet you, strangers…and good to see you, Mash.”

“Good to see you too, Senpai.” Mash bowed her head. “Is there anyone else on this floor?”

“If you count the dead bodies, then yeah.” Ty scratched the back of his head. “Otherwise, no—not really. By the by, I wouldn’t go into the mailroom, since some of the machinery from shipping malfunctioned and broke through, so there’s mail everywhere. Gonna be a bitch to clean up, with the dead bodies and whatnot…”

“I hate my job…” Zangor sighed. “Where the fuck were you, man? I thought you were dead!”

“It’s gonna take a lot more to kill me.” Ty crossed his arms over his chest. “That, and I was just messing around in the rec room. Got locked in for some reason, but some guy in a blue bodysuit broke us out not that long ago. I think he should still be there with Ali…can’t say the same about Gwen, since she headed straight for the second floor after getting out.”

“Blue…bodysuit?” That…sounded familiar.

“He was pretty good-looking, I’ll tell you that,” Ty remarked. “So what now?”

“You should probably regroup with the others at the infirmary,” Mash replied. “That’s where everyone else is at.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ty started making his way towards the elevator. “Come on, Zan—it might be a good idea to get checked out while we’re at it. Getting locked in a room for more than ten hours doesn’t sound so healthy.”

“What’s the difference here compared to my life back home?” Zangor asked as he followed after Ty.

“The difference is that you do that willingly…and also because you were in a supply closet,” Ty explained. “Don’t think that shit’s good for you, since that’s where we keep the cleaning supplies. Those things can kill if you’re not too careful.”

“But everything was closed—I made sure of that!” Zangor complained.

“Zangor, I saw dead people while getting that blowtorch—I’m not taking any chances.” Ty gave Zangor a serious look before continuing on his way. “See ya guys around!”

He waved at us just moments before disappearing from our sight. Zangor followed in suit, leaving the rest of us alone to process the new information we had received.

“Looks like Master summoned another Servant.” Robin grinned widely. “Not including Caster, that’s five already!”

“What can I say?” I smiled wearily. “I’m just _full_ of surprises.”

Can’t say I’m happy with this, because none of this matches up with the information I have regarding the _Fate_ series. Like…I’m not Medea, with her Rule Breaker, so how the _fuck_ can one Master summon so many Servants?

_Best not to think about that right now._

It might just make my head hurt… “Let’s just get going, since this floor is a lost cause.”

Kinda sucks, but what can you do? Lev was pretty thorough with his job…well, thorough enough, since he deliberately missed a few spots.

_I’m going to enjoy making him regret **everything** he’s ever done._

Of course, that’s assuming I’ll ever get a chance to see him again. You honestly never know, considering the weird shit that has already happened to me so far. This time, I’ll make sure I’m ready for anything…

“Senpai, are you okay?” Mash asked me as we boarded the elevator. “You’ve been quiet.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” I forced a smile. “Just lost in thought…so what’s on the second floor?”

…

It amazes me that so much thought and careful planning had gone into this floor’s creation. There were training and simulation rooms that would have benefited so many inexperienced Master Candidates. There was a gym full of a wide array of exercise equipment, open to everyone within the facility. There was even a tactics classroom, dedicated to helping people learn from their mistakes and improve.

At the same time, it also pisses me off. Because all it took was one person to ruin it all—just one, single person… And Lev knew exactly what his betrayal would do—he had to, since Olga Marie trusted him so much. He knew, and he still went ahead and betrayed us all.

_He didn’t even hesitate._

I think that’s what pissed me off the most.

_Hate hate hate hate **hate**._

I had to take a deep breath to compose myself and ignore the urge I had to break something. Robin patted my arms a few times, as though to reassure me in some way. It wasn’t much, but it did bring me back to my senses.

_God, I’m such a mess…_

I wasn’t that talkative when we came across Gwen, who was in the midst of tampering the machines in one of the simulation rooms. She was a slender, young woman with blonde hair, pale skin, and green eyes. Her hair was cropped short and her eyes were obscured behind a pair of large, thick-rimmed glasses with black frames. She was also rather short, though, not enough that I surpassed her in height. After all, she still had a few centimeters to spare, if Jekyll had anything to say about it.

“My apologies, Master.” Jekyll frowned, feeling somewhat bad about the comment he had made.

“It’s fiiine.” It’s annoying, but it could be worse. “And just so you know, everyone seems to be heading towards the infirmary to regroup.”

“Then I’ll be heading there as soon as I’m finished with this room,” Gwen said in a clear and concise tone. “It’s nothing major, but the power outage disconnected all machinery and the like from the main power source. So I’ve been having to reconnect everything manually from scratch…it’s a pain in the ass, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“On your own?” Mash furrowed her brow.

“Like I said, it’s nothing I can’t handle.” Gwen adjusted her glasses and then promptly returned to work. “Talk to you guys later.”

…

“Not a woman of many words, is she?” Robin turned to Mash.

“That’s just the type of person she is.” Mash sighed. “But it’s good to see that she survived. The Doctor would appreciate having her around to help him in the Command Room.”

“That’s good to hear.” Poor Roman already looked so overworked from having to do everything on his own while we were in Singularity F. “Speaking of which, how did it go while you were with Roman?”

“Could have gone worse,” Robin admitted. “For some reason, I got summoned while I was buzzed, so my senses were all over the place. I’m doing better now, though I still don’t understand why that even happened in the first place.”

“Ehehehehe, that sure is strange…” I laughed nervously as I averted my gaze. It seems that Robin was affected by my hangover when I had summoned him. That would explain why he seemed a lot more docile then…

_Note to self: Avoid summoning Servants while drunk or hungover._

I have a feeling that these guys won’t be the last of the Servants I’ll be summoning…

_Better get used to it._

There’s at least one Servant I haven’t met yet and there’s something about him that reminds me of something. While I’m at it, something about Gwen also seemed familiar, but I don’t even know where to begin with that.

_I might just be seeing things…_

I am pretty exhausted, so I’m not in any state to make any clear observations.

…

From the third floor, up to the sixth floor, was where were the dorms were located. Everyone working at Chaldea had a room of their own…keyword: _had_. Robin didn’t waste any time in reminding us that there was now a sudden influx of unoccupied rooms. He did so by peering into every room we passed. That’s how we ended up coming across Alicia, who had been sleeping this entire time.

Alicia was a young woman with lightly tanned skin and long, messy black hair. She had two differently-colored eyes, one blue and one green. She wore nothing but an oversized shirt and had a pair of headphones around her neck. She was still half-asleep when she walked over to the doorway to greet us.

“Buddy, you’ve slept through a fucking explosion.” What the fuck?! How?!

“I diiiiid?” Alicia yawned, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. “Sorry, I was just listening to some music to help me sleep…guess it blocked out the sound.”

_That explains a lot…_

“Consider yourself lucky.” Robin was absolutely baffled. “In any other situation, you would have been dead…but you’re not.”

“Hooray…” Alicia murmured sleepily. “Can I go back to sleep?”

“You need to head to the infirmary!” Mash told her. “You have to regroup with the others. It’s an emergency!”

“Ohh…okay.” Alicia walked back into her room to get her shoes. As she was coming back, her eyes suddenly snapped open wide. “Wait, what?!”

It finally sank in for her.

“Oh my god—how many people are dead?!” Her fingers tangled themselves in her hair as she clutched her head. “Crap, crap, crap…I didn’t think I would actually sleep through a disaster…”

“You slept through the end of the world, actually…” I’m pretty sure that’s not helping her in any way, but I’m still fucking amazed that she slept through everything, while the rest of us were going through hell.

“The world ended?!” Alicia looked like she was ready to cry. “Dammit— _Splatoon 2_ was supposed to come out next month! I even bought a Switch for it! Whyyyyyyyy?!?!?”

“You can blame Lev for that.” It helps to focus your anger all on one person…trust me.

“I’m gonna fucking strangle him with an extension cord!!” Alicia scowled. “He’s going to rue the day he messed with me…”

“Join the club—we’ve all been wronged by that asshole.” As I said before, I’m going to make Lev regret _everything_ he’s done.

 **_Everything_ ** _._

Alicia looked down at herself, shrugging afterwards. “I guess there’s no point in getting changed anymore, so I’ll be going now. See you around, Mash…strangers—we’ll introduce ourselves later, yeah?”

“I’m fine with that,” Jekyll replied.

“Do as you wish.” Robin didn’t care.

“Just be careful on your way to the infirmary!” I’m not sure how much progress that Cú has made, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. “Tell Emiya that I said hi!”

“I’ll do that…whoever the hell Emiya is.” Alicia covered her mouth as she yawned again. She made her way down the hallway, still dressed in her sleeping attire. I can’t help but respect her for making the most of her situation, as bad as it has been…

“Since that room is occupied…” Robin moved on to the next room and peered inside.

“What are you even doing?” Jekyll asked him.

“Picking out my room—might as well, ya know.” Robin flashed Jekyll a grin. “You should be doing the same.”

“I…guess you’re right.” A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Jekyll’s face.

“Just so you know, my room is on the fifth floor,” Mash remarked. “There’s a theater there if you’re interested.”

“Why is there a theater?” Dude, that sounds so out of place here.

“Mostly for entertainment, since the Director wasn’t sure what the Master Candidates would do in their spare time,” she explained. “That’s why there’s a recreation room on this floor.”

“That…makes sense.” I guess it’s not that out of the ordinary to provide your applicants with enough resources to pass the time during their stay at a research facility… Thinking of it now, it also makes sense, since it’s not just for them, but also the Servants they could summon.

“I like pretending that I’m the Little Mermaid when there’s no one around in the theater…” Mash confessed, her face red from embarrassment.

…

“That’s adorable!” Oh my gosh, I wanted to hug her so badly! “Ahhhh, Mash you’re so cuuuute!!”

“Someone’s happy!” Robin laughed at how my body started shaking so much. “Having fun?”

“Yesss!!” I just learned something so cute about Mash and it’s making me feel so giddy!

_I’m so, so happy!!_

_Happy happy happy!_

“Th-Thank you.” Mash tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. She looked so nervous, but I can tell that she appreciated my compliment. “I-I think Senpai is also cu-cute…”

“Aww, shucks!” You’re gonna make me blush!

_I really needed this…_

Half an hour passed before we finally reached the recreation room. The door laid flat on the floor, having been torn off its hinges. Inside was a massive room full of things that you’d likely see in a typical recreation room. There were sofas for people to sit in and relax. There were televisions hooked up the walls, some of which had gaming consoles connected to them. There were a couple of ping pong tables as well as a pool table. That was where we encountered our next survivor, who playing a game of pool with an extremely familiar young man with blue hair. He was clad in a blue body suit and using the blunt end of his red spear to play the game.

“Oh, hey, Master!” the young man flashed me a smile as he waved at me before going back to his game of pool. “Was wondering when you were gonna show up…”

“You’re a Lancer!” I blurted out.

“Why wouldn’t he be a Lancer?” The woman playing pool with him was fairly tall, with blue eyes and brown hair pulled into a ponytail. “He’s fucking Cú Chulainn—of course he’d be a Lancer! What else would you expect from Irish Hercules?”

“Fucking magic—I don’t know!” The last I saw of Cú, he was a Caster and not the Lancer he’s supposed to be… “Mash, can you _please_ contact Roman before I lose my fucking mind…”

…

It turned out that I actually _did_ summon Cú Chulainn as a Lancer…but I also summoned him as the Caster who helped us out in Singularity F. Basically, I summoned _two_ versions of the same man.

“God, it’s like I bought Sun and Moon all over again…” It’s the same Pokémon game overall, differing only in the content that’s exclusive to which one you’re playing.

_Gotta catch ‘em all, Pocúmon!_

“Please tell me there aren’t any more of you…” I don’t know how the _fuck_ I’m going to be telling you guys apart if this keeps up… And by telling you guys apart, I mean what the fuck am I gonna _call_ you guys?! “You can’t just expect me to call you Cú, can you?!”

Caster Cú from the projection and Lancer Cú both turned to attention to me. I resisted the urge I had to scream.

“This one better not use the lance of sure kill to cheat at pool,” Ali, the woman who had been playing pool with Lancer Cú, complained. “I’m expecting a fair game of pool from the both of ya…okay, I’m starting to see the problem here.”

Roman pinched the bridge of his nose. **_“I was expecting this to happen. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon…Noa, just how? How did you manage to summon two versions of the same exact person within the span of forty-eight hours?!”_**

“I don’t fucking know!” I’m just as lost as you are. “I still don’t know how many Servants I even summoned in the first place!”

 ** _“Good god, they’re multiplying…”_** Emiya picked the best time to walk in on Roman and Caster Cú’s conversation with us.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Lancer Cú grinned widely at Emiya. “Looks like we’re working together, huh?”

Emiya looked like he wanted to scream. And in that moment, both he and I were in sync with our frustrations towards the current predicament involving Caster Cú and Lancer Cú. Grant it, Emiya had different reasons for feeling frustrated, but that didn’t matter much. At the end of the day, we were still reacting to the same scene before us.

“Why don’t we call one by CasCú and the other by just Cú?” Mash suggested after much thinking.

“CasCú?” Roman furrowed his brow.

“It’s short for Caster Cú,” Mash explained. “I’m assuming that Lancer would be the original, or at least the one who is most well-known.”

“I’d have to agree,” Ali piped up. “I recognize the Cú who wields Gáe Bolg more over the Cú who uses runes.”

Caster Cú seemed almost envious of Lancer Cú at that moment. I don’t exactly blame him, but at the same time…why the fuck are there two of you?! And how many Servants did I summon?!

“Ahh, it seems Master is in quite a bind!” Oh fucking hell, not him!

“Leave me alone, you fucking hellspawn!” I crawled over Robin’s shoulders and fell into his arms. “Run the fuck away _now_!”

“Is this a game we’re playing?!” Mephistopheles showed himself at that moment, looking absolutely giddy with how things were escalating.

“Ruuun!” I shrieked, jabbing my elbow into Robin’s stomach to get him going.

Robin narrowly avoided Mephistopheles as he lunged at us. “What the hell?!”

“Don’t ask—just keep running!” I’m starting to regret ever complaining about summoning two versions of the same man, when I summoned a fucking devil who _adores_ chaos.

We ended up taking the stairs instead of the elevator, for the sheer fact that in the few seconds we were waiting for the doors to open, Mephistopheles went and said, “Every second you’re not running, I’m only getting closer!”

“Fuck the elevator, fuck the elevator!” I held tightly onto Robin as he kicked open the door to the stairs.

Beads of sweat rolled down Robin’s face as he ascended up the stairs. He was just as freaked out as I was, which is fair, because we have a motherfucking devil chasing after us.

“Why did you summon him?!” Robin asked me. “ _Why_?!”

“I don’t know!” I regret everything. “I was hungover when I summoned you guys, _okay_?!”

“So _that’s_ why I was buzzed!” I am so sorry for what my hangover did to you, Robin… “Look, I don’t mind—I just wanted answers. I got them…while we’re being chased by a devil.”

“Run, run, run!!” Mephistopheles’s voice was enough to startle the two of us silent. “Slowly but surely, I’ll catch _uuuup_!”

Robin and I screamed when Mephistopheles suddenly appeared in front of us. There was only so much that Robin could take, which is why he just fucking _jumped_ down the square-shaped opening that was at center of the staircase.

“Robiiiiin, what the fuuuuucckkkkk??!!!” My voice just about cracked from how hard I was screaming as Robin and I fell.

_Have I ever mentioned that I have a massive phobia of falling?_

Because I do, and this is _definitely_ setting off my phobia.

“Hold on tight!” That’s all I got as a warning before Robin reached out and grabbed onto a handrail. He grunted at the strain our combined weight likely put on his arm as his hand grasped the railing tightly. We dangled in the air for almost a minute, a relieved sigh soon escaping Robin’s mouth. “Sorry about that, Master—it was the first thing that popped into my head.”

“Just don’t let go…” I really wish I hadn’t looked down…

“I’m going to throw you up right now…brace yourself!” as he said this, Robin launched me into the air, throwing me over the railing.

“Aaaugh!” A pained yelp left my mouth as I landed roughly on the steps. Could be worse…but at least I’m safe.

_Somewhat._

Mephistopheles had gotten rather quiet all of a sudden. I don’t like that…I really don’t like that at all.

“Robin, we need to leave,” I told him as he pulled himself up.

“I’m…on it!” He landed next to me, taking a moment to catch his breath before picking me up. “We’ll take the elevator down to the lower floors.”

“Don’t say it out loud!” I resisted the urge I had to smack him.

What Robin didn’t tell me until after we had boarded the elevator on the first floor was that he had deliberately said that out loud.

“Had to throw him off somehow,” he explained. “We’re actually heading to the topmost floor.”

“That’s…smart.” I want to believe, Robin—I want to fucking _believe_.

“I want to believe, too…” Robin ran his hand through his hair. “Wasn’t expecting him to be so aggressive.”

“It’s not the thought that he might hurt us that scares me the most…” I swallowed hard. “Rather, it’s the thought of what else he could do to us.”

“Wh-What is he going to do to us?” Robin looked down at me.

“I don’t know.” That’s what’s freaking me out.

Robin and I shuddered.

…

…

As soon as the doors opened up, Robin peered out into the eighth floor. He scanned the hallways for any sign of that chaotic devil. Once he was certain that the coast was clear, he exited the elevator…and fucking bolted to the closest door he could find. That was how we found the garden.

“Holy shit.” My eyes went wide at the sight of so much greenery.

“Impressive…” Robin whistled. “Think there are any yew trees in this garden?”

“Only one way to find out…” I’m willing to explore this place if that’s what you’re asking.

There was something especially calming about being surrounded by nothing but plants and flowers. The garden was meticulously cared for, thriving at its absolute best in the artificial sunlight that shone from above. There were fruits and vegetables being grown alongside the plants and flowers. It’s just as we approached a field of herbs that we came across a young woman with blonde hair styled into a braid. She had pale skin and blue-green eyes with prominent eyebags. She paid us no particular attention as she continued with her task.

“Master—you might want to look over there.” Robin directed my attention to the woman dressed in a hooded bluish-purple robe, who was not that far away from the blonde-haired woman.

“Oh, what the fuck…” Not only was I aware that she was a Servant, but I knew who she was. “Medea?”

She looked up, the top half of her face completely hidden by her hood. Blue lips formed into a smile when she realized who she was staring at. “Oh my…you are a rather cute Master!”

“Uhh…” My face heated up with a blush.

“Well, at least she likes you.” Robin huffed out a laugh. “Don’t mind us—we’re just passing through.”

“By the way, if some purple-haired clown comes by and asks for us, you didn’t see us.” In fact, we don’t even exist. What you’re seeing is just an illusion, oooooohh~…

“Pfft…ahahaha!” Medea laughed, likely having read my thoughts…that’s a fucking thing. Whoops. “So long as you don’t betray me, let’s make the most of our partnership, yes?”

“I just got screwed over by the biggest asshole around. The last thing I wanna do is do the same to someone else.” It’s far too soon to be pulling such dick moves, if ever.

_I’m saving that shit for people who deserve it._

“Ahh, I guess that makes two of us.” Medea reached out to pick an herb. “Such a vengeful, little Master…so cute and full of anger…”

“She’s full of anger, that’s for sure.” Robin prodded my cheek with his index finger. “I guess that’s what makes her so adorable.”

“You guys are making me blush!” Fucking hell, leave me alone!

“Who the fuck?!” The blonde-haired woman just noticed we were here, taking a moment to pull out her earbuds from her ears. She was rather surprised to see us. “When did you guys get here?!”

“They’ve been here for a few minutes now,” Medea answered. “My, you noticed I was here, but not them?”

“I wasn’t in the middle of reviving some herbs when you passed by!” the blonde-haired woman pointed out. “I just acknowledged you and that’s that!”

“Who are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Robin decided to change the subject.

“The name’s May—and everything in this room is _allll_ mine,” she proudly proclaimed. “If you need anything, just ask.”

“Ahh, but I didn’t ask you.” Medea smiled.

“You didn’t bother me, so you get a pass,” May explained. “Also, rule number one: Don’t fucking bother me. Rule number two: Don’t annoy me. Rule number three: Don’t fucking touch me. Follow these rules and you’ll avoid an early death. Trust me—I won’t hesitate to turn you into fertilizer if you provoke me.”

…

“So speaking of death!” I think it’s best to change the subject, because holy shit, May is scary… “You survived!”

“I wha?” May made a face.

“Everyone’s dead, May…” Holy shit, I don’t think this chick knows what happened. “You might want to head to the infirmary for more information.”

May stared at me as though I had grown a second head. Then she stood up and started making her way out of the garden, leaving me alone with Robin and Medea. As soon as I was sure she was out of earshot, I spoke.

“That went better than expected.” I was expecting a lot of yelling, like with Alicia.

“I give her an hour at most,” Medea remarked. “Of course, that depends on how she copes.”

“It’s been pretty hectic,” Robin said. “So would you prefer to stay here or follow us out?”

“Hmm…I think I’ll stay here just a bit longer.” Medea picked another herb. “It’s nice to have such a vast array of ingredients for my potions… Speaking of which, I think a revitalizing potion would be of immense help for such a cute Master.”

“I don’t think I should be ingesting any weird stuff without knowing how it’ll affect me.” It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust this body.

“That is understandable.” Medea nodded her head. “But do know that I’m always open to help you out, since you seemed to have expended quite a lot of prana.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” It’s only a matter of time before I pass the fuck out. “Maybe I should take a nap to be safe…”

“Sleep would certainly help…have some lavender in the meantime.” Medea handed Robin a small sachet of lavender. “Just put it in your pillow case before you sleep.”

“Sounds good.” Robin pocketed the sachet. “Let’s get going, Master.”

Hopefully, we won’t run into Mephistopheles on the way to my room.

…

We didn’t. However, that did not mean we didn’t run into anyone…because when we entered my room, Robin and I spotted a fair-skinned young woman sleeping in my bed. She was curled in a ball, hugging my pillow closely to her chest. She had light, green hair and was dressed in a modified green kimono with white thigh highs. Yellow ribbons were tied underneath the horns that were growing out from the sides of her head, matching the ribbon that was tied at the back of her black obi.

“What the fuck?” I said a little too loudly.

That was enough to wake the young woman up. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing a vibrant pair of yellow eyes. She sat up, her gaze falling on me. She blinked a few times, her eyes slowly widening when she realized that she was no longer alone. I was expecting her to scream…

She didn’t—instead, she just jumped up and wrapped her arms around me, loudly exclaiming in a surprisingly **deep** voice, “Master-sama!”

_Oh no…_

Alarms are blaring through my head for reasons I cannot even fathom. I…don’t know this person. Yet, my brain seems to recognize them. It’s enough for me to notice that something isn’t adding up.

“Servant, Kiyohime—I’ll be in your care, Master-sama!” It hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Oh my fucking god…” I remember now.

_Ohhhhh **nooooo** …_

_Fate/Grand Order_ —that’s the name of the game. That’s the name of the game I’m stuck in…

_I don’t remember **anything** …_

Which is weird, because I _know_ I’ve been playing the game for months. I spent money on it, goddammit—why can’t I remember shit past the fucking prologue?! Why now? Whyyy???

_What use is there in having knowledge of events that already happened?!?!_

“Master-sama…are you okay?” Ohhhh noo…then there’s **Kiyohime**.

I don’t remember much about her, but I do vaguely remember referring to her as my stalker… “Aren’t…Aren’t you supposed to be female?”

_None of this matches up with what I remember._

_What the **fuck** happened?!_

“I was summoned in this form—isn’t it to your liking?” Kiyohime frowned. “Would you prefer it if I grew out my hair?”

“I would like to know your pronouns.” One thing at a time, Noa—one thing at a fucking time…

“I’m perfectly fine if you refer to me as how I am in this form, if that is what you mean.” Kiyohime smiled. “If it helps, you may even call me Kiyo—I don’t mind.”

“Okay…Kiyo.” That’s gonna take some getting used to, but I’ll live. “I’m Noa and I…seem to be your Master.”

“You are indeed!” Kiyo ran his fingers through my hair. “When was the last time you combed your hair?”

“I don’t know.” I don’t know anything. “Can you please let me go?”

My heart won’t stop pounding and there’s an intense fear I have of being burned, for some reason…

“I guess it is improper for a young man and woman to be so intimate…” Kiyo’s cheeks heated up with a blush.

“I was going to ask if you guys needed a moment,” Robin said, reminding us that he was also in the room. “I was just here to drop off Master for a nap.”

“I don’t think I need that nap anymore.” I’m wide-awake for all the wrong reasons. “Let’s just…join the others, now.”

“May I come along?” Kiyo asked.

“Just ask before you touch next time…” I don’t mind being hugged, but coming from you…I think I’d prefer it if you ask first.

“Up you go, Master.” Robin lifted me off the floor. “Sorry, Kiyo—but Master isn’t in any shape to walk.”

“That’s…fine.” Kiyo forced a smile, his voice sounding somewhat strained. “Just don’t do anything inappropriate.”

Robin snorted. “I think you should tell that to Master—have you seen what she’s wearing?”

“Hey—no shame!” I’m not in any mood to be judged like this!

“Relax.” Robin ruffled my hair. “I’m just teasing you.”

“Shouldn’t we get going?” Kiyo piped up, hopping out of bed. “I’m sure the others are waiting for us.”

“You’re not wrong.” At this point, they probably are waiting for us.

…

And it turns out—they were. The infirmary was pretty crowded when we arrived. Emiya looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here, with the way CasCú and Cú hung around him.

“Is this what it’s like to be around me?” he asked me.

“More or less…except I’m more scared than annoyed.” I’m seriously sorry about that…

“Understandable.” Emiya sighed. “I hear you and Archer got chased around by a devil.”

“We did.” Robin made a face. “Don’t…talk about it.”

“Please don’t.” I don’t want to remember.

“Shall I end him for you, Master-sama?” Kiyo offered.

“Nonono—I don’t want him dead.” I just want him to stop tormenting me. I might have to use a Command Seal for this, but again…I don’t want him dead. “He might have his uses.”

“Unfortunately…” Robin sighed.

“I know.” I’m just as disappointed as you. “That makes…eight Servants, now?”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Senpai?” Mash had such a concerned look on her face.

“I’m fine.” I’m not hungry, though I am exhausted…but I don’t feel like sleeping just yet.

“That’s good to hear, because we’re going to have a rather long evening.” Roman stepped in. “By now, we’ve collected all the dead so far…”

“Ahhh yes—the corpses.” Corvin sat up in his bed. “We got crests and circuits to salvage.”

“Is there any point?” Lumaria asked. “The world’s been fucked over—what use do we even have for that?”

“Well…I should mention that there’s a chance we could fix all of that.” Roman cleared his throat. “Since we’re all here, I think now is a good time as any to explain the situation.”

“But first—a moment of silence for the fallen.” Da Vinci clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention.

…

…

_Well…this is sobering._

I couldn’t even force myself to laugh it off. It’s just… **damn**.

“As you already know, we’re…all that’s left.” Roman ran his fingers through his hair. “And aside from sheer luck, the only reason we survived is because Chaldea seems to be the only place outside of the normal timeline. It’s likely following the timeline right before the collapse.”

Roman took a moment to collect his thoughts. He seemed to be having some difficulty maintaining his calm composure. I don’t blame him…

“Think of this place as a colony floating in space,” he continued. “And until we do something about this situation, the outside world is dead.”

…

…

“So what _can_ we do?” I have a vague idea of what needs to be done, but a part of me is still in denial.

“I don’t mean to push a lot of pressure on you, Noa, but…you’re our last hope.” It pained Roman to admit that, likely because that’s an overwhelming amount of pressure he just _put on me_!

“No pressure, ahahaha…” I sounded like I was one verge of a breakdown…probably because I was.

_Keep it together, Noa._

_Just…keep it together._

It was a lot to take in, being reminded that there were seven singularities that I was going to have to fix in order to get history back on track. It seemed so simple, back when this was just a fucking gacha game. Now that fiction became reality—it’s starting to sink in with how stressful this is for the player character.

_Who I seemed to have replaced…_

Yeah, that’s a thing that happened. It’s not as fun as it sounds, since I’m going to be _risking my life_ for the sake of saving humanity from destruction. Now it might just sound like I’m being overdramatic and maybe even selfish, but I almost died three times already within the span of forty-eight hours. I don’t feel like having any more near-death experiences, but I guess we can’t all get what we want.

“Master Candidate #48, Fujimaru Noa.” Roman’s expression turned serious. “If you wish to save humanity… If you wish to have a future beyond 2018. Then you alone must go and face these seven singularities in human history. Are you prepared to do this? Can you shoulder the burden of Chaldea and humanity’s future?”

“Of course.” I want to live, dammit. This is my life now—I have to get used to it. There’s no point in bitching and moaning about how unfair life is.

_Not that that’ll stop me from doing so…_

“Thank you.” Roman smiled in relief. “With those words, our fate has been decided. We will now carry out the Preservation of Humanity as laid out by Olga Marie Animusphere, the former director of Chaldea. This is where the rest of you will come in, since there’s only so much that Noa can do on her own.”

“Missy’s already expended a lot of prana to summon us,” CasCú spoke up. “She can’t be the only one helping out.”

“Speaking of which, _how_ are you still conscious?” Corvin asked as he looked at me with weary eyes. “As soon as I get my hands on your medical chart, I’m going to examine you. The last thing we need is you dying because of negligence.”

“That might have to wait after we bury the dead,” Da Vinci said. “I’m sure this is the last thing any of you would have been expected to do after all that has happened. However, it will not do us any good in the long-run to leave these corpses be.”

“I don’t think it’s sanitary, either,” Grim pointed out. “Bodies _do_ decompose.”

“Can we stop talking so casually about dead bodies?” Kade pinched the bridge of their nose. “At least until we get there…”

“I have the list of every staff member in Chaldea.” Roman looked through his clipboard. “I’ve already checked us off, so now it’s just a matter of confirming the dead.”

“And salvaging the circuits and crests!” Corvin added. “And before you ask, Lumaria…it’s for their families, you inhuman monster.”

Lumaria stuck his tongue out at Corvin.

“We should add ‘find Lilith an interpreter’ to the list of things we should do later,” Echo said as she watched Lilith sign at a fast-pace. “Otherwise, we’re just going to be leaving him out these conversations and that’s pretty rude.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s also breaking a few laws,” Navi pointed out. “Then again, we’re on Antarctica, so what laws even apply?”

“Being a decent human being?” Alicia offered.

“That sounds about right.” Navi nodded her head.

“We do have a few books on sign language in the library,” Lash brought up. “Though, the question is which one is he using?”

…

“Let’s save that for later—you okay with that, Lilith?” Roman turned to Lilith.

Lilith just nodded his head.

“So…the bodies?” May pulled out her earbuds.

“Just follow me,” Roman said with a sigh. “Brace yourselves—you might see people you recognize.”

“Joke’s on you—I barely know you people.” Ali had a weird sense of humor…then again, that could just be a coping mechanism.

“Dude, I saw a bunch of guys getting their intestines eaten out by angry worm things,” Grim said. “At this point, nothing fazes me anymore."

There was a chorus of “Mood.” spoken simultaneously in a deadpan tone by a number of people within the room. Roman looked so fucking done and Da Vinci just laughed, while everyone else was just confused, concerned, or both.

Our heroes, everyone!

_We are such a fucking mess…_

…

…

_“You are the dancing queen,_

_Young and sweet,_

_Only seventeen…”_

The past half hour that we’ve been going through these dead bodies has been a lot less dreary and depressing than it should have been, thanks to May’s singing as she searched dead bodies and checked names off the list. It’s kind of a mood whiplash, but one that was especially needed to keep the rest of us going. And honestly, I gotta say—I’m feeling mighty envious that May can shrug it off just like that.

“It’s not going to last.” Shush, Medea—let me have this. “Just prepare yourself.”

Less than five minutes later, a horrified expression crossed May’s face as she suddenly blurted out, “Imagine all the plants that went extinct!”

And just like that, it all came crashing down as May started to cry. That was enough to get Echo to start crying and soon, so was everyone else who wasn’t a Servant.

“Why did you have to be riiiight?” I wiped the tears out of my eyes as I looked at Medea. “Ahhhhh…”

“Because you all survived such a tragedy,” Medea replied. “It’s best to be prepared so that it’s easier to come to terms with the weight of such a burden.”

She had a point…I just wish it was under better circumstances. This is a fucking joke, just crying over people we barely even knew, if at all.

_This really **sucks**._

It takes six hours—six fucking hours to identify a total of one-hundred and sixty-nine bodies (of which many of us had said, “Nice.” when Roman confirmed the number). It took a lot longer because every hour or so, we’d start crying again. While this went on, Zangor and Ty were cleaning up body parts and organs, since not all the bodies were in one piece and a good chunk of them were already burnt and charred.

“This is gonna be a pain in the ass to get through once the paperwork comes in…” Corvin let out an aggravated sigh.

“You’re the one who wanted to salvage the circuits and crests,” Lumaria pointed out. “This took a lot longer because of that, when we could’ve just burned the bodies after we were done.”

“It’s called respect for the dead, boy!” Corvin lightly swatted Lumaria on the head. “Anyways, since we agreed on cremation…where exactly are we going to do this?”

…

“The labs do have an area dedicated to incinerating waste,” Grim brought up. “Although, I would prefer to sit this one out—I’m not comfortable going back there.”

“That’s valid,” Echo remarked.

“Uugh, I wanna take a shower or something.” I feel all gross and icky after handling all of those dead bodies.

_I’ll be seeing them in my nightmares tonight…_

“A bath sounds absolutely lovely…” Roman sighed. “It might be a good idea to head to the seventh floor after this.”

“Shouldn’t take long with CasCú’s magic.” That shit is fucking potent.

“You flatter me, Missy.” CasCú grinned.

Cú narrowed his eyes, looking somewhat peeved. He reminded me of a dog who was jealous of the attention that another dog was getting.

_Speaking of dogs, doesn’t the name Cú Chulainn have something to do with them?_

If I recall Sétanta’s _Persona 5_ entry correctly, it was something along the lines of “Hound of Culann.”

…

It’s a sad, sad day when all I remember the most about Cú Chulainn is his childhood name, due to my obsession with his design in the _Persona_ series… I mean, he had a great design, it’s just…I wish I knew _more_ than just that and whatever I managed to retain from when I skimmed through Cú Chulainn’s Wikipedia entry.

_Welp…it’s never too late to pay the library a visit._

I’ll just ask Lash about it once we’re through with this. I just want to get this over with so I can get some sleep. I don’t think it’s healthy to stay awake this long when exhausted…

…

Neither of us stuck around to see the bodies burn. The fire was in a contained space and there wasn’t much left for us to do, so we just left for the seventh floor. Apparently, we all had the same idea of taking a bath. I didn’t really think much about it—neither of us did, until…

“Hold on a second!” Roman was the first to realize that something was wrong just moments after we had entered the changing room. “We’re not getting in together, are we?”

A few seconds passed, then Da Vinci spoke. “Oh right—the baths worked on a schedule since we don’t have separate bathing facilities.”

“Do schedules even matter when everyone’s fucking dead?” Zangor asked.

“Just means we have the whole place to ourselves!” CasCú seemed perfectly fine with that.

“Mixed bathing has never been my thing,” Emiya said. “But do we even have a choice?”

Roman looked at Emiya in disbelief. “Y-Yes?!”

“I honestly don’t care.” Corvin was already in the middle of pulling his shirt off, not really giving a damn that he was changing in front of people.

“Move the fuck over—I got blood and organs to wash off!” Ty pushed us all aside as he started stripping and throwing his clothes into an open locker.

Cú laughed. “Reminds me of my younger days.”

“Move.” May gave zero fucks as she walked past us without her shirt and bra on.

Roman stammered and sputtered, his face about as red as a tomato. “M-May?!”

“I’m not waiting.” May gave Roman a harsh glare, stunning him into silence.

“I don’t feel like waiting either…” I’m not comfortable with the idea of bathing with people, but at this point—fuck it. I just wanna get clean and sleep… “Thanks, Siegfried…”

I appreciate the head pats…

“Hmm.” Siegfried just nodded his head.

“Look, if anyone is uncomfortable with mixed bathing, you can just wait it out,” Alicia suggested.

“Normally, I’d wait, but considering our current circumstances…” Jekyll cleared his throat. “I’ll make an exception.”

“Oh please—there are only like twenty of us still alive, not including the Servants that were summoned.” Lash huffed. “Who gives a shit about mixed bathing?”

Lilith raised his hand at that moment.

“See?!” Roman pointed at Lilith. “Lilith agrees with me!”

That was the last thing Roman should have said, because that only spurred Lilith to strip down in front of everyone. He walked off as naked as the day he was born, with his chest puffed out in pride.

“You shouldn’t have provoked him.” Medea laughed behind her hand as she watched Roman squirm uncomfortably.

“You should just give up, Roman.” Da Vinci patted Roman on the shoulder. “You’re fighting a losing battle. Just relax.”

“Easy for you to say…” Roman exhaled wearily. “I guess…I’ll also make an exception. Just don’t make a habit out of it.”

“No promises, Romani!” Gwen unabashedly exclaimed.

“What she said,” Kade said as they walked past Roman.

“At least now I’ll be able to get my cloak back.” Well, you shouldn’t have lent me your cloak in the first place, Robin. “Not that I mind sharing, but I still don’t feel comfortable being so out in the open.”

“Ohh…” Well, if _that’s_ the case, then you should have said so! I pulled off the cloak and handed it back to Robin. “Let me know if there’s anything else that’s bothering you. The same goes to the rest of you. As your Master, I’m all ears, yeah?”

“My, aren’t we considerate?” Robin chuckled as he accepted his cloak.

“That’s Senpai—always worrying about others.” Mash sounded especially proud. It’s honestly making me blush…

…

The bathing area was enormous—rightfully so, since there were at least two-hundred people working at Chaldea…originally, at least. The place was divided into two parts, with one half of the room consisting of washing stations and the other half consisting of the baths. The baths were extravagantly designed, separated into multiple tubs of differing sizes. It’s like the sort of thing that you’d see rich people having at their places, but at least there was a point to this, since it wasn’t just meant for a few people to use.

The room was full of steam, but not enough that it made the entire place into a steam room. I would know, since I’ve been into a steam room myself. The difference is that it doesn’t feel weird when you breath out, nor does it hurt to move so much… I mean, it still hurts, but that’s only because I’m so fucking _sore_.

“Thank you so much, Mash…” She is such a sweetie, helping me wash my back and hair. I almost wanted to pass out from how gentle she was and how nice the hot water felt on my aching body…

“It’s nothing, Senpai!” Mash chirped. “You’ve been through so much, that it’s only fair!”

“She is correct.” It took every fiber of my being to keep me from turning my head, because Siegfried decided to sit at the washing station right next to ours. The last thing I want to do is make this any more awkward than it already is…

_Do I even care?_

I’m honestly too exhausted to give a damn… At most, it’ll just be a mild inconvenience that will haunt my memories at the worst possible moment. It’s best that I don’t think too much about it. That seemed to work for everyone else.

“Man, does anyone have a pair of scissors?” I asked out loud after Mash had spent more than ten minutes washing my hair. “I’m thinking of cutting my hair…”

“You will not, Senpai!” Mash was rather adamant about convincing me otherwise. “It’s proof of our bond!”

Oh shit, it is… “Uuuuugh, fiiiine! But you’re gonna have to take care of it!”

If we’re gonna make this work, then you’re in charge of caring for it, because I honestly can’t be bothered to do so…

“Thank you, Senpai!” Mash sounded so happy, it was pretty cute… “Close your eyes.”

God, I hate this part… I held my breath as Mash dumped a bucket of water over my head. “Hwah!!”

That is a _lot_ of shampoo that needs to get washed out…

“I don’t envy you one bit.” Oh, who asked you, May?!

“Make sure to braid that thing or something once its dry,” Navi suggested before going off towards the baths.

Mash had to help me put my hair up in a bun after she had finally finished rinsing it out. So much shampoo and conditioner were used…so, fucking _much_.

_This is my life now._

“Oh god, this really is my life now,” I said moments after submerging my body in the fragrant steaming bathwater.

“Are you okay, Senpai?” Mash asked as she soon joined me in the main bath, which is where mostly everyone was (mostly, not all). She sat right next to me, looking at me with such concern.

“I’m fine, just…a bit overwhelmed.” That’s a huge understatement. “What is this smell, anyways?”

“It’s mint and chamomile,” Medea answered, her head mostly covered by the towel she had wrapped around her hair. She was in the smaller tub nearby, just sitting on her own. “I thought it would help ease everyone’s nerves.”

“Is this just tea?” May swirled her hand around in the water in tub just across from ours.

“Herb mixes are quite versatile,” Medea explained with a smile on her face.

“Does that mean I can drink this or—” Echo was cut off as Medea curtly said, “Do not.”

“Don’t drink the bathwater, Echo.” Roman pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s the least sanitary thing you can do.”

“Less unsanitary than handling dead bodies?” Corvin asked.

“You know what I mean…” Roman sighed. “Kiyo—please don’t get so close to your Master.”

“Kiyo, what were you doing?” I should mention that Kiyo has been surprisingly distant up until this point. I assume he is right behind me, from the way Roman is looking in my direction.

“I was going to massage your shoulders,” Kiyo explained himself.

“I’d suggest saving that for later.” CasCú had a sly smile on his face. “You never know what sort of sounds that Missy might make.”

…

“Hey!” I almost stood up at that moment, but then I realized everyone was looking at me, so I just sank lower into the bathwater. I scowled when I heard CasCú and Cú high-five each other.

_Well, they’re getting along…_

Emiya, on the other hand, still would prefer to be anywhere else but here. It helps that CasCú and Cú refused to leave him alone, as the two were trying to strike up a conversation with the Archer. Robin was not at all envious as he stared at Emiya from the tub at the far end of the room.

“Please put on a towel…” I heard Jekyll tell Kiyo. “For the sake of our Master.”

_Yeah, for **my** sake…_

_Splash!_

“Whoa!” I was almost swept away by the large wave of water that Siegfried had created when he entered the bath.

“Senpai!” Mash reached out and grabbed my hand, keeping me anchored to her side.

It took a few minutes for the bathwater to still. Everyone’s gaze was now on Siegfried, who seemed somewhat embarrassed.

“Sorry…” he apologized as usual.

“Try to be more careful next time.” Da Vinci just laughed it off.

“Dude, how much do you weigh?” Zangor asked, baffled at how Siegfried could easily cause such a disturbance.

“I think there’s a scale in the relaxation room?” Ty sounded uncertain.

“Yeah, it’s by the massage chairs,” Alicia confirmed. “That’s where I’ll be when I leave, in case anyone needs me.”

“Mind if I join you?” Gwen asked Alicia.

“Nah…just don’t wake me if I fall asleep in a massage chair.” Alicia yawned loudly. “Gotta catch up on sleep.”

“How much sleep do you even _need_?” Lumaria was baffled. “Are you a koala?”

“Koalas were cute…” Alicia smiled.

“Holy shit—does this mean that koalas are dead?!” Echo suddenly yelled as though it only just occurred to her.

“Not like they weren’t already dead.” There are so many things that are wrong with koalas. I don’t even know where to begin… “Koalas are so fucking stupid.”

I noticed that Lilith was signing something at me. I don’t know what exactly he was saying, but from the looks of it, he seemed to be agreeing with me.

“Hey, fuck you—koalas are doing their best!” Echo retorted.

“Were,” Ali corrected her.

“Fuck you!” Echo snapped.

“They suck so badly at being alive,” Lash said. “Their teeth are useless for the food they eat.”

“They eat only one type of eucalyptus,” May contributed to the conversation that was focused on shit-talking koalas as a whole. “One type that slowly poisons them.”

“ _Koalas in the rain, koalas in the rain~._ ” Corvin started singing. “ _No fucks given, koala koala…_ ”

“Do you even know what a koala is?” Lumaria asked Corvin.

“Nope!” Corvin wasn’t even ashamed to admit that. “At least, I don’t know what it looks like…”

Echo stared at Corvin in disbelief. “Corvin…I’m gonna give you a crash course of the animals that are native to my country.”

“We have a few photography books in the library that can help,” Kade suggested. “Speaking of koalas, did you know that they have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains? It’s to protect their brains from any injuries…should they fall from a fucking tree. Their brains are so fucked up from all the eucalyptus leaves they eat.”

“Koalas just starve to death when their teeth finally give out from eating all of those leaves.” I know so much useless shit about koalas because it just _appalls_ me that such a creature can even exist. Everything they do is a fucking mistake that just contributes to their eventual downfall. “The leaves they eat don’t even have any nutritional benefits for them!”

Echo looked like she wanted to say something, but then she stopped. After a few seconds of thing, she sighed and said, “Dumbass drop bears…”

We spent at least ten minutes talking shit about koalas, while Mash and the rest of my Servants just listened intently on our conversation. It was entertaining to them that we could all just talk so much trash about one particular animal. In defense of Echo and Grim, they were from Australia. Lilith, while unable to contribute verbally to the conversation, was also from Australia. Everyone else came from different parts of the world and really didn’t have much of an excuse of _why_ they would know so much about koalas…except Lash and Kade. They spent enough time in the library to learn a lot of random facts out of boredom.

Moving on, Ali was from Ireland, Navi was from America, Corvin and Lumaria were from France, and that’s about as much as I could remember in one sitting before I decided that I’ve stayed in the bath long enough.

“Hey Fou.” I have no idea where Fou has been these past few hours, but I wasn’t that surprised to see him just showing up in the bath as I was leaving. “You need a bath?”

Mash reached out and caught Fou before he could flee. “It’s been a while since your last bath.”

“Fou!!” Fou hissed as he struggled to break free from Mash’s hold.

“I won’t take that long—just behave!” Mash sighed.

“Well, I’ll leave you to that.” It’s been nice knowing you, Fou, but I feel like changing and getting some sleep…

“Do you need any help getting dressed?” Kiyo was quick to ask.

“I’m fine!” I’m not that helpless and frankly, I don’t trust you…

…

I was meaning to leave on my own, but Siegfried followed me out—likely to keep an eye on me, since Mephistopheles was still on the loose. He was at least wearing a towel, so it wasn’t that bad. It was still awkward, but I’ll live…

_Thud!_

“Uhhh…” Now for current matters, I somehow didn’t see the pink-haired girl that was standing by the locker I had used and ended up bumping into her. “Hello?”

She was taller than me, with pale skin and purple-colored eyes. She had a rather androgynous look to her, making me wonder if she was really just a flat-chested girl or an incredibly effeminate boy. I was tempted to ask so as to avoid any misconceptions, but I didn’t have to.

“Ahhh, so _you’re_ my Master!” They smiled at me, revealing a rather adorable fang that protruded from the top half of their mouth. “Hmmm…”

They stared intently at me, not giving a damn that they were invading my personal bubble. A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of my face as my eyes stared into theirs. I tensed still when their fingers brushed against my ear. “Hwah?!”

“Ehehehe.” My reaction was amusing enough to make them laugh. “You pass!”

“Pass what?” I was about to ask before a pair of soft lips pressed against my own. “Mmmmph?!”

_What the fuck?!_

_CRASH!_

That seemed to be the last straw for the next person who happened to enter the changing room at this very moment—which just so happened to be Kiyo. He punched a massive hole through the wall, allowing everyone within the bathing area to see the scene that had set off Kiyo.

“Astolfo?” I heard Siegfried say, memories of a certain Rider then popping into my head.

_I **know** that name…_

“Heya!” Astolfo waved at Siegfried after pulling away from me. “Good to see you!”

I don’t know much about _Fate/Apocrypha_ , but I know just enough to recognize who the hell Astolfo was… The first thing that came into mind was that _this was not a flat-chested girl_. This was an androgynous-looking **boy** whose towel had _suddenly dropped onto the floor_.

_Holy **shit**._

I have no words for what I had just seen. All I can say is that I am _very_ thankful for Siegfried covering my eyes to keep me from staring any longer. I am also thankful that Medea was keeping Kiyo from absolutely _murdering_ Astolfo. And what of Astolfo? He only laughed at the chaos he had created, showing little to no shame towards his shenanigans.

“See ya around, Master~!” Astolfo was going to be the death of me, I swear.

“Are you okay, Master?” Siegfried asked me after a minute.

“I have no idea…” I feel especially flustered and I’m not sure if it was because of the kiss or because I had stayed too long in the bath.

…

There was something awkward about being carried by Siegfried to my room, dressed only in a robe because there was no way in hell I was putting on that filthy set of lingerie. I’d been in that thing for almost forty-eight hours— _no thank you_. I stumbled around the room, not yet used to my surroundings. I took a few minutes to familiarize myself with everything that was inside my room, which wasn’t much, since up until recently, Roman was just using it to slack off.

And yet, it’s thanks to Roman that I had a clean set of clothes to change into—be it, it was just a plain black t-shirt that fit me almost like a dress, but it meant a lot to me. All I had so far was a pair of panties, because that’s all that Da Vinci had been able to give me on such a short notice. Gotta say, that was actually embarrassing—how the _fuck_ did she know my measurements?!

_Don’t think about it, Noa—just don’t think about it._

I crashed onto the bed, groaning when my head hit the pillow. I was so exhausted…

“Master?” And Siegfried was still here.

“You dun’ halfta stay if you dun’ wanna…” I slurred out. All too suddenly, I was finding it difficult to talk at all. My eyes struggled to stay open and slowly, my consciousness started to fade. The last thing I remember was seeing Siegfried sit down in the chair across from my bed, his gaze just focused on me.

“Goodnight, Master,” he told me before I finally drifted off.

…

…

I’m not sure how long I stayed asleep, but when I woke up, I found myself pressed against Siegfried’s body. I don’t know _when_ he got in my bed, but I scrambled off the bed the instant I realized how close we were.

_Thud!_

That was enough to wake him up, although…I don’t think he was even asleep in the first place.

“Wh-Why?!” was all I could say as Siegfried sat up in my bed.

“You were shivering in your sleep,” he replied. “Sorry…”

“D-Don’t apologize!” I just wanted an explanation… “Next time, ask—okay?”

“Understood.” Siegfried nodded his head. “Do you need help getting up?”

“Maybe?” For some reason, I was having issues standing up.

…

Apparently, I had been out for a few days, which would explain why I was having so many issues just moving around. My body was still sore, but I was no longer exhausted and holy crap, that actually made a difference.

_Growl._

“I’m hungry…” Being asleep for a few days means that I haven’t eaten at all during that span of time. “Let’s go to the kitchen, Siegfried.”

Not much had changed during the time I had knocked out, with the exception that there had been a few other survivors that had hidden themselves in the theater room. Most things were now up and running, with the Command Room almost at one-hundred percent, which meant that it was almost time for me to enter a singularity.

_Fun times._

When Medea offered me a revitalizing potion, I actually took it this time. I didn’t even care for the side-effects, because I just wanted to stop feeling so sluggish.

It ended up having quite the opposite effect on me. While I wasn’t exactly sleepy, I was just…very quiet. Like, everything was so fucking clear and I just wanted to get so much done at once!

“I apologize—I didn’t think you were that sensitive to stimulants.” Medea found me just going through so many books in the library.

“I’m…used to them.” Although, I think I’m more used to them at a lower dosage… Or maybe this body isn’t used to them at all? I do recall reacting similarly when I was in the fourth grade after I had gotten a new prescription of ADHD medication that actually _worked_ for me. “It could be worse.”

“Senpai—you haven’t eaten in six hours.” Mash forcefully closed the book that I was reading. “Please get something to eat…”

“Uhhhh…” Do I need food?

_Growl._

I guess I do. “Okay, I’ll eat.”

“Kyuu!” Fou jumped out of my lap, the noise having scared him awake. He had been asleep for the past hour, deciding that my lap would make an especially comfortable bed. That was probably why I hadn’t moved at all to get a new book and decided to instead reread the book I had just finished…

“You should also focus on brushing your hair and getting dressed,” Medea said as she got a good look at my attire. “You’re still wearing such drab clothing.”

“It feels comfortable…” Although, I did scare the crap out of Roman when he realized I was wearing his shirt. He had almost forgotten that he left that in what was now my room.

“Da Vinci said she’s ready to make you a replacement outfit at any time,” Mash told me. “She just needs your input on what you would like to wear.”

“Is that so?” In that case, I have an idea of what I want to wear…

_C-CRAAASH!!_

_BAM!_

_Thud, thud, thud, thud!_

But before that, it seems someone had an accident in this library.

“What happened?!” Kade shouted, not happy with the mess they were likely going to clean.

The noise came from the upper floor, where the lounge room was at. We went up the stairs to investigate, as the elevator was still out of order. Medea had her dagger out in the case it was someone who was here to cause us harm—one can never be too sure. We lost a lot of people because of Lev, so there wasn’t much room to give anyone or anything the benefit of the doubt.

Everything was still in one piece, although as shelf had collapsed, alongside a multitude of books. Though, a closer look revealed that there was someone underneath the pile of books that had fallen onto the floor.

“Whomst the fuck?!” Kade asked, pointing their finger at the person sitting within the pile of fallen books.

A fairly tall man with long, black hair stared back at us with dark eyes. His expression was quite sour, as though things had not gone in his favor. He wore a red coat over a black suit and had a long, yellow scarf draped around his neck. A cigar stuck out of his mouth, which fortunately unlit, though it still earned him a warning from Kade that went something like, “If you light that thing while you’re here, I’m gonna punt you into the fucking sun.”

“Is there even a sun anymore?” Mash asked.

“I don’t care—I just don’t want him smoking here. We just cleaned this place, dammit!” Kade huffed.

“There’s something about you…” Medea looked closely at the strange man. “Something…special.”

“Now that you mention it…” He does look kind of familiar, but where…?

At that moment, I received a call on my wristband. I answered it, the projection immediately showing that it was Roman, as usual. He seemed rather frantic, as though something had suddenly popped up.

 ** _“Chaldea just summoned a Heroic Spirit!”_** he blurted out, his eyes widening when he caught sight of the strange man within the library. **_“What is Lord El-Melloi doing here?!”_**

“The second,” the man instantly corrected him, his expression growing even sourer.

“Hold the fuck up!” I _know_ this man—Waver Velvet, Rider’s Master during the Fourth Holy Grail War! “What are _you_ doing here?!”

_You’re not supposed to be a Heroic Spirit—what the hell?!_

At least…I don’t think so.

 ** _“Who are you supposed to be, Lord El-Melloi II?”_** Roman asked Waver.

Waver removed the cigar out of his mouth. “Servant Zhuge Liang—I succeeded his power, so don’t worry.”

That…raises so many fucking questions. I don’t even know where to begin…

“So…you’re a Master.” It seems Waver noticed the Command Seals on my…wait a second!

“They’re all here?!” Instead of there being two Command Seal and a faded marking, there were three covering the back of my hand. “How the _fuck_?!”

_Aren’t I supposed to get only three seals?!_

**_“Weren’t you informed?”_** Roman furrowed his brow. **_“These Command Seals are supposed to restore themselves after twenty-four hours. Though, it likely took longer for you, since you expended so much prana and overloaded your circuits.”_**

“Circuits…” Waver repeated, his eyes slowly widening the longer he stared at me. “ **Fuck** —it’s _you_.”

“Me?” I pointed at myself.

“ _You’re_ the reason I’m here.” He seemed so displeased. “Such an inexperienced mage, and yet—your magic circuits…”

“What about them?” All I know is that I have them and this body is _so_ not used to using them… _yet_.

_Maybe one day, but certainly not now._

“We need to get you examined.” Waver stood up, taking a moment to adjust his clothes as he kicked aside the books at his feet. He ignored Kade when they scolded him and instead, walked over to me.

“Wh-Whoa…” It honestly baffled me with how tall Waver had gotten over the years, since I barely came up to his chest. God, I’m still so used to his younger form, when he was so small and frail…

_And cute._

Shut up, brain—don’t make this awkward for me.

“You’re much smaller…” Waver’s comment snapped me out of my thoughts. I barely had much time to react before he grabbed me roughly by the hand. He started dragging me towards the stairs, ignoring my complaints as he asked, “Where’s the infirmary?”

“B2—hey, get back here!” Kade shouted at Waver. “You need to clean up after yourself, fucker!”

“Later,” he merely told her before going down the stairs.

“H-Hey!” You don’t have to drag me, dammit!

“I don’t exactly trust you to do as you’re told.” What do you mean by _that_?! “You remind me of a certain…someone.”

Should I feel offended by that statement?

“Thanks?” I found myself saying.

My response only earned me a couple of sardonic laughs from Waver.

“Wait—who are you talking about?!” I need answers, dammit! “Tell me!”

“Just as loud, too…” I heard Waver mutter under his breath.

“Now you’re just being mean!” I’m starting to regret ever liking you!

…

…

I sat in a chair, with Waver standing behind me as Corvin looked through my file. We were at the infirmary, with Mash currently waiting outside with Fou at her side. I still had no idea what was up, but based on the looks that Corvin was making as he read through my file…something was wrong.

“How old did you say you were?” Corvin asked me, as though I hadn’t already told him.

“Twenty-three.” This better not be your way of making a joke, because I’m ready to slap the next person who calls me a child…

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit.” Corvin’s comment caught me by surprise. “I don’t know what happened to you during the Spiritron Dive, but unlike you, these documents don’t lie. You’re nineteen, which makes you three years older than Lumaria.”

“He’s sixteen?!” What the fuck—I thought he was older?! “Wait a second!”

_I’m nineteen?!_

“Same exact age, too.” Seriously, Waver—what the fuck are you on?! “Do you have any information regarding her magic circuits?”

“I was getting to that.” Corvin flipped through a few papers. “I’m comparing and contrasting the medical examination chart I have on her before and after the incident and…”

Corvin trailed off, his gaze just focused on the papers. He blinked a few times, then rubbed his eyes before looking back at the papers. After two minutes, he closed the file and handed it over to Waver. He then walked over to one of the empty beds and just passed out after saying, “Fuck this.”

“What the hell was that about?” I looked at Waver for some answers, since he now seemed to have them.

“Fujimaru Noa, age nineteen, female, third-generation, possessing a magic circuit count that is just below average…” Waver read the information out loud. “Just a typical low-level mage who cannot even be compared to her much more talented cousin.”

“I have a cousin?” A part of me wants to feel insulted over the unnecessary comments that Waver was making, but I was genuinely surprised about that revelation.

“That’s what surprises you the most?” Waver clicked his tongue. “I’d be more surprised about the change in soul you seemed to have had.”

_What?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, have a massive chapter! Didn’t mean to take so long, but shit happened! I apparently have a Vitamin D deficiency (so let the jokes commence!), just recently recovered from an infection, only to find out that my maternal grandfather was suddenly rushed into the hospital, so my mom and dad had to leave for Mexico. I had to stay behind because my sister needed someone to watch her kid, so I’ve been home alone these past few weeks and will be until September 9th. I find out that following Sunday that my grandfather died that Friday. I haven’t seen him since I was like eleven, which was the last time I’ve been to Mexico and…it’s been pretty rough, being on my own and just dealing with that loss.
> 
> He wasn’t the best grandfather around, but…I still had some good memories. I’m doing a lot better, though being on my own has been time consuming since I have to do chores on my own, which has been taking up whatever free time I’ve had. As of today, I’m back to school, so depending on how things go, my productivity might take a dive. At the very least, I don’t have to worry about money, since I got a refund back from financial aid and also got approved for a work study, so things are gonna be a LOT easier!
> 
> It helps that I haven’t been to work at my usual job since the start of this month, so I’ve had enough time to recover from all the shit that I’ve had to go through with boss lady.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, because a lot happened. A lot went down in the Gacha Meme Hell discord, which is how shit like Kiyohime being male became a thing (there’s more to it than meets the eye, so don’t jump to conclusions just yet) and Chaldea got mapped out after much discussion. This is pretty much the turning point to not expect things to go exactly as how they were in the game. Like…at the very base, it’s still the same, but how we get there is something that we’ll just have to wait and see.
> 
> The OC Inquisition made its appearance, so you guys might as well get used to them. They won’t always have the focus on them, but just be aware that they exist. This is pretty much their introductory chapter for future references. So many thanks to the Gacha Meme Hell discord for their contributions to this chapter, **Lyrecho** especially.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you guys so much for taking the time to comment! It really has been helping me stay productive and also helping me through these difficult times! Don’t ever feel afraid to leave a comment, just so long as you’re not pessimistic about it, yeah? And do think twice about how you might come off as, because there’s a difference between giving criticism and being an ass.
> 
> So long as you understand that, then it’s all good! I’ll be willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but don’t push your luck as some people have with my other fics. That’s about it for now, so until next time, everyone!


	5. Cosplay and Cú Chulainn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about Nasuverse magic, so I’d appreciate it if people would go easy on me if I make any mistakes. This is shit fucking tedious, even with **Lyrecho’s** help. That being said, I’m BACK!

You know, I probably should have expected this… I _really_ should have expected this. And yet, nothing could have prepared me for this.

“So…who are you?” Waver looks up from the file, snapping it shut as he waited patiently for an answer from me.

So here I am, not knowing what to even say, when I’ve been caught red-handed in whatever the fuck I did to the original owner of this body.

“I’m…Noa.” That’s all I can really say after a good minute of silence. I keep drawing nothing but blanks every time I try looking into the past to get a better grasp of the person I was. I can remember just about everything that matters to me, except my own name—my _real_ name. Every time I try looking deeper into my memory, all I get is the name that I somehow shared with the original owner of this body (and her existence).

“Are you?” Waver arched his brow, seemingly unconvinced.

“Yes…no??” I don’t know… I _really_ don’t know. “I’ll admit that Noa isn’t my real name, but…it _feels_ right—especially since I can’t remember _anything_.”

I’m technically telling the truth, because I really can’t remember _anything_ about this body. It’s not mine, but…shouldn’t I at least get something from it?

_Why am I getting nothing?_

Is it because I’m not supposed to be here?

_Why am I here?_

Who am I?

_Why why why whywhywhy **whywhy**?_

How did I get here?

_Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy?!_

Am I in trouble?

_Am I?_

“I’m sorry…” Tears flooded my eyes as I choked back a sob. It was really starting to hit me—about how _wrong_ this was. “I’m…so, so sorry.”

I never meant to steal someone else’s body…

“You don’t have to cry.” Waver sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “It…happens.”

I feel like he’s talking about what he did with Zhuge Liang, but… “B-But I’m not a Servant like you.”

“Pseudo-Servant,” Waver corrected. “And while you are correct, I don’t see any negatives that you need to worry about. All your file mentioned was a change in soul—nothing harmful about that.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.” While it’s nice to know that I didn’t cause any harm, that doesn’t take away from the fact that I still stole someone else’s _life_. “What am I going to tell her cousin?!”

_Oh god—she has **family**!_

What about my family?!

_Mamá, Papá—!_

“Ahhhh…aaaaahhhhhhh…AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!” A scream tore itself out of my throat, my voice cracking under the intensity of my own volume. My vision blurred, eyes filled with tears. My body trembled, unable to remain calm as my chest grew tighter and tighter until it was too hard to breathe.

I could hear Waver trying to say something to me, but I’m too far gone for any of his words to register.

…

…

* * *

There isn’t a lot of room for Waver to react. It happens all too quickly and before he could say any more, a hand shoots out and pushes him roughly to the side.

_Thud!_

He bites back a yelp when he lands roughly on his tailbone. His anger flares up, and his face contorts into a scowl. There’s a lot that he wants to say, though he never does. Instead, he just watches as Noa is lifted into the arms of a Heroic Spirit with silvery-white hair and cyan-colored eyes.

“It would be of your best interest to avoid harming my Master in any way.” That’s as much of a warning that Waver gets before the Heroic Spirit leaves, taking his blubbering mess of a Master along with him. The doors shut behind him, leaving Waver completely on his own with Corvin’s unconscious body.

“ **Damn** ,” he says as a light blush dusts his cheeks red. He should have known that this could have happened—it’s only natural for a Servant to respond to their Master’s distress. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

There’s a lot that he has to learn, considering the special circumstances surrounding his summoning and the events that led up to it. Though it pains him to admit it, both he and Noa have a lot more in common than he’d like.

“Tch.” Waver clicks his tongue in annoyance. He can feel a migraine coming on, likely as a result of the interactions he’s had so far. Things could be worse…but they could also be better. “I better not regret this…”

* * *

…

…

It took me more than an hour to calm down. By then, I was back in my room, with Siegfried and Roman, who had the unfortunate luck of being in the hallway when Siegfried carried me out of the infirmary. It was kind of embarrassing, being such an emotional mess in front of Roman.

Thankfully, he seemed to have an idea of what to do and that’s why we’re in my room, having cake.

“Hey…did you know I have a cousin?” I asked Roman after finishing a slice of cake.

Roman stares at me, his fork still in his mouth. He blinks a few times and swallows before removing the fork from his mouth. “I… _do_ recall coming across a file belonging to a boy with the same surname as you. He’s amongst the rest of the Master candidates in cryopreservation.”

“Can I…Can I see his file?” I don’t know why I’m suddenly so interested in knowing about the cousin I apparently had when I knew next to nothing about him. I don’t remember any of the memories that belonged to the original Fujimaru Noa. And yet…there was an overwhelming sense of relief that washed over me when Roman returned to my room with the folder containing the files of a certain Fujimaru Ritsuka.

_Ritsuka—so **that’s** his name…_

My heart skipped a beat when I saw a picture of a pale-skinned boy with black hair and blue eyes.

_It’s him._

It’s the same boy that smiled at me during Olga Marie’s speech…

_So that’s **why** …!_

“Aha…ahahahaha!” Laughter bubbles in my throat, catching Roman completely by surprise. He doesn’t expect it, and neither does Siegfried. All they do is stare as I continued to laugh while tears rolled down my cheeks. “Ahahahahahaha!”

“A-Are…Are you okay?” Roman asked, looking rather concerned over my current emotional state. I wouldn’t blame him for worrying…

“I don’t remember him,” I confessed, not caring any more about the information I’ve been omitting. There’s no use in keeping that to myself, now that Waver knows the truth. “I don’t remember _ANYTHING_.”

I should be freaking out over the questions I’ll get asked, but I’m not. Instead, I just feel relieved. As long as he’s alive, then it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember.

_We can always make new memories…_

…

…

I was left alone after that, though Siegfried remained at my side. He sat at my bedside while I curled up in bed, just thinking about everything that had happened so far. It’s a lot to take in, but it’s not as overwhelming as it was before. It’s…strange.

_Strange, but not unwanted…_

Mash entered my room not long after that, Roman having sent her my way to check up on me. She brought with her a stack of black boxes full of rice balls that Emiya had made. As soon as she opened the box, I grabbed one and started eating.

“Emiya-san’s cooking is delicious, isn’t it?” Mash asked me with a smile on her face.

I didn’t say anything since my mouth was full, so I just nodded my head and reached out for another. I offered it to Siegfried, holding the onigiri out for him to grab. He stared at it, looking somewhat puzzled until I told him to eat it.

“It’s okay—there’s enough for all of us.” I’m starting to notice that Siegfried has a habit of putting the needs of others before himself. It’s a little concerning, but only because I’m worried about how far he’ll go to ignore his own limits. “C’mon—eat!”

Siegfried stared for a few more seconds before doing as he was told. And let me just say, I was actually expecting him to take the onigiri out of my hand. Instead, he decided to eat it right out of my hand like some sort of timid animal.

_Ba-dump!_

“Ahhh…” I felt my cheeks heat up from the sight. “Ahahahaa…”

It was kind of hard to laugh it off, but I honestly didn’t know how else to react. It’s just really baffling to have someone like Siegfried act this way in the first place. It’s kinda…adorable?

_I mean, Siegfried **is** adorable…_

Though I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the right word I was looking for…

_Get it together, brain!_

Well, if it’s any consolation, at least this is happening here, in my room, instead of out _there_ , where we could **_die_** …

“You got something to say, Mash?” I noticed she was staring and dear god, I hope it wasn’t about what Siegfried was doing.

Fortunately, it wasn’t—rather, she just wanted to know if I’d be fine with her fixing my hair.

“Medea gave me a comb and a few accessories to help you tidy up,” Mash explained, showing off a few ribbons and a golden comb. “It’s okay if you don’t want to…”

“I didn’t say no.” Why would I when you promised that you’d take care of my hair? Because really, I can’t be bothered to manage all this hair. “Just be careful, yeah?”

Mash nodded her head. “Of course, Senpai!”

Gosh, Mash is just going to slowly kill me with her cuteness…

…

…

“Master—I have something for you!” I ran into Medea not long after leaving my room. There was something so ominous about the way she approached me, though that could be from the fact that she still had her face hidden away from view.

“What is it?” I twirled a lock of my hair around my finger, enjoying how soft it felt. It certainly was a lot more manageable after Mash had combed it and pulled it back into a ponytail.

“This for you!” Medea eagerly shoved a bag into my arms. “I made it so that you could change out of that drab outfit.”

This drab outfit is by far the most comfortable thing I have ever worn, and honestly? I don’t feel like changing it out of it anytime soon…

_Sorry Roman, but I’m keeping this shirt!_

I’d wear it all day if I could, though Medea did go through the trouble of making something for me. And it would be rude to ignore it, so…I’ll just see what this is…

…

…

_…Eh?_

Is…Is this right? “Medea?”

“Hmm?” She tilted her head to the side, her lips still formed into a smile.

“This is…a bit much, yes?” I stared nervously at the outfit that Medea had given me. It wasn’t that bad, although, I’m not exactly sure if there’s anything practical about wearing a maid outfit…

Ignoring the fact that I literally spent hours dressed in nothing but my skivvies…which is _totally_ different!

_It’s not…_

“I thought it would suit you best!” Medea’s smile only widened, a light blush tinging her cheeks red. “I made sure to consult Da Vinci for your measurements, so it should fit you!”

“ _Why_ does she know my measurements?” I made a face as I held up the maid outfit in front of myself. It looked pretty cute, even if the skirt was kinda short…hold on, there’s more in the bag—are those _thigh highs_?! “Ahhh!!”

_I almost didn’t see them there…_

“Fuck it—I’m down!” I got nothing to lose except my dignity and I’m pretty sure there isn’t much of it left, so what point is there in worrying about it?

_Nothing, that’s what._

Glad we’re on the same wavelength, brain! “Mash, Siegfried—out of my room, I’m changing!!”

…

The clothes fit perfectly like a glove, with nothing feeling out of place—not even the pair of flat-heeled Mary Jane shoes nor the lacey underwear that came with it. It was comfortable, which made it easy to ignore how creepy this otherwise would have been, had it not been coming from Medea.

_Could be worse!_

And that’s ignoring how exposed my back is, but otherwise, it’s aaaaaaallll good! “Ehehehe!”

“You seem pretty happy, Senpai!” Mash laughed as she watched me twirl.

“Can’t save the world if you ain’t cute!” That’s honestly been my logic with every videogame that gives me the option of customization. Although, I should probably stop acting as though this is still a videogame, when it’s the exact opposite…

_Welp…there goes my mood._

Time to look for a distraction! “Onwards!”

“To…where, Senpai?” Mash asked.

“I have no idea!” I gleefully replied.

…

…

My eyes widened slightly at the hand that suddenly came down on my head, fingers gently tousling my hair. I stayed especially still, my cheeks heating up with a blush.

“I will accompany you, Master.” I didn’t even need to check to know that it was Siegfried. This man is willing to ride or die with my shenanigans and something about that just makes me so… _happy_.

_God, I don’t deserve you…_

“It’s good to see that you’re so lively, because I also have a message for you,” Medea piped up, completely snapping me out of my thoughts. “That Caster wishes to see you again, so you’re needed in the Command Room.”

“Ahhh…him…” Aaaaand there goes my mood again… “I guess…that’s fine. Ahahaha…”

_Oh god, how am I going to face him like this?!_

“Can you tell him to give me like an hour?” I don’t think I’m emotionally prepared to see him after that massive meltdown I had in the infirmary.

“That won’t be necessary.” God fucking dammit—he’s _here_! “Thought it’d be much quicker if I approached her in person.”

“My, my—so impatient, aren’t we?” Medea laughed, sounding rather amused.

“Time isn’t a luxury that any of us have, considering our current circumstances,” Waver remarks. “So it’s best to make the most of what we— _what_ are you wearing?”

Oh _good_ —he noticed. Greeaaaattt… “Clothes.”

“Pfft.” I heard Mash stifle a laugh just then.

Waver scowled, obviously annoyed with my response. “I am being serious.”

“So am I.” I wish I knew when to shut up, because all I’m doing is pissing him off. That’s kinda the last thing I wanted to do, but I guess we can’t always get what we want.

“Do you like them?” Medea looked expectantly at Waver. “I made it myself—with some help from Da Vinci, of course.”

Waver paused for a moment to think, carefully choosing his words before finally saying, “It’s…nice.”

_Ba-dump!_

_Shit, I don’t need this right now— **dammit** , Medea!_

“I’m glad you think so!” Medea smiled. “Anyway, I think I should be heading off now. I wouldn’t want to intrude on whatever business you have with my Master… I trust you will keep her safe, yes?”

There’s an unsaid “or else” in her tone when she asks Waver. He stares at her for a moment before silently nodding his head.

“Then I shall see you around.” Medea takes her leave, stopping for a moment to inform us that if we needed her, then we could find her in Da Vinci’s workshop.

“She has a workshop?” I found myself asking as soon as Medea was out of earshot.”

“Yes, Senpai,” Mash answered. “I’ll show you where it is when we have the time. For now…”

“For now…” I turned to Waver, who looked like he’d rather be elsewhere than here. “…I’m not changing, if that’s what you want.”

Waver almost chokes on his spit. “You cannot be serious…”

“I am.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s either this, or Roman’s t-shirt. Take your pick.”

…

…

“Lookin’ good, Missy!” I was not at all surprised to hear that coming from CasCú. He stared at me with the biggest grin on his face, his eyes shifting momentarily to the side on Waver. “Is this what you called me for?”

“What— _no_!” That just about snapped Waver out of whatever emotionless funk I had put him in. “You are needed for an upcoming mission!”

“Which is…?” I tilted my head to the side. We were currently in the Command Room, which is where we met up with CasCú…

“Alright, everything seems to be in— _goodness_! **What** are you **_wearing_**?!” And Roman, who just showed up, nearly dropping the clipboard in his hand out of shock. His gaze was focused on me, a light blush dusting his cheeks red.

“Clothes—isn’t it obvious?” I smiled mischievously as I watched Roman sputter a few times.

Waver pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering a few words under his breath that I couldn’t quite catch.

“So what are we here for?” Mash decided to ask, seeing as my outfit clearly threw everyone off track…everyone except her and Siegfried, who is literally the only other person who isn’t at all bothered with my attire.

“Anyways!” Roman cleared his throat a few times. “After much discussion, it was decided that it would be a _terrible_ idea to send any of you into a new Singularity without any prior training.”

“That is a completely valid reason.” Ignoring the fact that we managed to already clear one Singularity—I honestly consider that a fluke. Holy _fuck_ , I could’ve _died_ …

“There’s also the fact that Noa’s profile is in need of a massive update, considering her most recent check-up…” Roman flipped through a few papers on his clipboard. “We’ll…get into that later. For now, I’m going to hook you up to a coffin.”

_Excuse me?_

“Uhhhh…” I don’t like the sound of that… _Why_ do they have to call it a coffin?!

“Look—I know it sounds bad, but it’s completely safe!” Roman seemed to have noticed my distress. “You’re just going to Rayshift to Singularity F for some training…”

Ahh, I see… _wait_! “Are you fucking high?!”

I ain’t going back to that hellscape!

“You’re not going alone, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Roman ran his fingers through his hair, sighing in exasperation. “I know it’s too soon, but we don’t have any other choice. We’d normally use a simulation, but it’s too risky to just throw you in without knowing the extent of your abilities.”

“That’s where I come in,” Waver explained as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket. He was about ready to light the cigarette in his mouth, but Siegfried stopped him.

“Master would prefer it if you didn’t smoke,” he says, his hand crushing the cigarette after removing it from Waver’s mouth.

Waver scowled, his eyes immediately shifting over towards me. “Is that so?”

“Ehehe…” God, I am _not_ making this easier for myself…

“I certainly have my work cut out for myself…” Waver pinched the bridge of his nose.

“So…why’re you here?” I turned to CasCú, who just grinned at me.

“I know my way around the Singularity better than any of you, so I’ll be your guide for this trip, Missy!” That…actually makes a lot of sense… “The faster we get through this, the sooner you can head back to your room. Don’t make me carry you—unless…you want me to?”

“N-No—I can walk—h-h-heeyyy!” Dammit, CasCú!

…

…

“See? Now that wasn’t too hard, was it?” Roman’s voice was still audible, despite the glass barrier between us.

“Get in the fucking robot, Shinji…” was all I could really say, considering the amount of effort it took to get me inside a coffin—which actually didn’t look like a coffin. It was more of a cylindrical tube with a glass front, like something you’d see out of a sci-fi series.

“Excuse me?” Roman was taken aback with my response.

“Oh nothing—just a joke.” Geez, now I’m actually feeling bad for the crap I put everyone through. They didn’t deserve that… “Sorry…”

“It’s fine—it’s probably just anxiety,” Roman reassured me. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I sure fucking hope so.” I don’t want to make a habit out of this. “Let’s…Let’s just get this over with…”

…

…

“Aaugh!”

_Thud!_

_Thud!_

_Thud!_

_Thud, thud, thud, thud!_

_Okay, what the fuck?!_

One minute, I’m standing in the coffin, the next, I’m in some sort of closet, getting pelted in the head by falling cleaning supplies. I tried to get up, but only succeeded in tripping on a broom and falling flat on my ass.

_THUD!_

“Son of a bitch!” I swore loudly, nearly screaming when a mop suddenly smacked me in the face.

“Senpai?! Is that you?!” I could hear Mash’s voice calling out to me, which was soon accompanied by the sound of footsteps heading my way.

I clambered around the closet, looking for some way out before anyone could see me in such a sorry state. Too bad I picked the wrong wall to support myself as I stood up, because that wasn’t a wall— “Waaugh!”

_BAM!_

That was a door. “Mother _fucker_ …”

And that was how everyone found me, looking like some sort of clumsy maid from some sort of fanservice anime.

 ** _“Wasn’t expecting you to come out of the closet this early,”_** I could hear Ali’s voice coming through my bracelet. Must’ve activated it on accident…

“Can someone just tell me _why_ I ended up in a fucking closet?!” I’m not in the mood for jokes right now. “Roman—what the hell?!”

 ** _“I can assure you that it was an accident!”_** Roman hastily replied. **_“Something went wrong during the Rayshift. We’re currently investigating the issue, so we’ll get back to you on that once we have enough information. For now, we’re just relieved that you weren’t that far away from the others…”_**

“As opposed to…?” I trailed off, waiting for an answer.

 ** _“As opposed to you ending up alone in an abandoned high school,”_** Da Vinci suddenly cut in. I don’t know when she showed up, but she’s definitely with the others in the Command Room now. **_“Do try to look on the bright side. I’ll make it worth your while if you behave…”_**

“I’ll try.” But I’m not making any promises…

 ** _“Good, good!”_** I heard Da Vinci clap her hands together. **_“Now that you’re all together…how about we find you some targets to practice on?”_**

“Can I at least take this broo—er, mop?” I held up the mop that smacked me in the face earlier. I wasn’t exactly being serious when I asked, but then I heard Grim ask, **_“You planning on cleaning the streets in that?”_**

_Is that a challenge?_

You know what? “Fucking watch me!”

I don’t give a fuck—I’ll even take the broom if I have to!

“That’s the spirit, Missy!” That’s as much of a warning as I get before CasCú suddenly lifted me off the floor. “As much as I was enjoyin’ the view, I think it’s best we get movin’, yeah?”

I stared at him for a few seconds, a light blush soon dusting my cheeks red. I swung the mop at him, trying my best to smack him. He only laughed, finding my attempts to land a hit on him more amusing than troubling. When I almost succeeded in actually hitting him, CasCú used his staff to block the attack.

“Too slow!” he said before using his staff to disarm me. It happened all too fast and before I even knew it, I was getting bonked on the head with a mop. “Don’t go thinkin’ that I’m not the type to get physical just ‘cause I’m a Caster…”

“Yeah, yeah…” I huffed in annoyance. At the end of the day, this dude is still Cú Chulainn. I don’t know why I’m even surprised that this happened… “Can I have my mop back?”

“Just give me a sec—I need to teach you how to properly hold it first if you’re gonna go hittin’ people with it.” CasCú reached out for my arm and pulled me closer to him, quickly turning me around so that my back was to his front.

 ** _“Oh myyyy…”_** Lash, shut up—you’re supposed to be in the library, not the Command Room!

Geez, is everyone just here to watch me suffer? “Try anything funny and I’ll have Siegfried shove you again.”

Siegfried, by the way, is currently hovering behind Waver, just staring down at him for reasons I couldn’t quite understand.

“If you’re that annoyed, why don’t you use a Command Seal to get a hold of the situation?” Waver had his arms crossed over his chest. “You need to assert your position as Master.”

“Why bother when I can just ask nicely?” I lightly jabbed my elbow into CasCú’s stomach. “Right, CasCú?”

CasCú chuckled. “Right.”

Honestly, you’re the last person who should be telling me that, Waver. You let Rider do as he pleased, and you got out just fine!

_Ignoring the possible trauma that came from facing Gilgamesh…_

_Geez, does he have nightmares about it?_

And I should probably abandon that train of thought before I go asking questions I shouldn’t ask.

“You say that, and yet you still complain?” I’ll bitch if I want to, Waver—you can’t stop me!

“Sorry, but…wouldn’t it be more appropriate for Lancer to assist Master instead of Caster?” Siegfried suddenly spoke, bringing all attention on him. He averted his gaze, muttering a quick apology.

“You know, I didn’t want to admit it, but…he’s right.” CasCú sighed as he reluctantly released my hands. “While I do know my way around polearms, it’s nothing compared to the actual wielder of Gae Bolg—speaking of which, I know you’re there.”

 ** _“Ahaha—caught me!”_** I heard laughter coming from my bracelet, followed by a few gasps as a certain Lancer, presumably, showed himself to those in the Command Room. **_“Was wondering when you were gonna notice.”_**

“I was just humoring you.” CasCú had the widest grin on his face. “It won’t be too much trouble to send him over, yeah?”

 ** _“Just give us a few minutes,”_** Roman responded, sounding somewhat exasperated. **_“I need to locate a Leyline…”_**

“You okay Mash? You’ve been quiet…” I only just noticed that Mash hasn’t been saying anything.

“I’m fine, just…confused.” Considering the shit that’s been going on, I wouldn’t blame her for not knowing how to react. “I’m glad you’re okay, Senpai.”

“Aww, I’m glad you’re okay too, Mash!!” I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you…

…

…

In the time that it took Roman to locate a Leyline, Waver managed to drill the basics of magic (magecraft—whatever the fuck it is, I already forgot) into my head and blah, blah, blah…

_I should be paying attention, but I’m still reeling over this newfound information…_

**_“I’ve written some notes if you’re still confused,”_** Roman reassured me.

“Thank youuuuu!” I was on the verge of tears from the wave relief that washed over me. I’d ask Waver to repeat himself, but…he kind of scares me.

_Why does he have to be so fucking **tall**?!_

“So when can I shoot fire magic or whatever?” I decided to change the subject, because this is _super_ boring…

And for that one moment, I could see the life in Waver’s eyes fade away as he buried his face in the palm of his hand.

“Magic isn’t something you can do.” CasCú was trying his hardest not to laugh. Unlike Waver, he was having the time of his life.

“So what can I do?” Just…give me the key points. Don’t overcomplicate it…

“Magecraft!” CasCú simply replied.

And just like that, you lost me! “What’s the difference?”

That comment earned a very exasperated groan from Waver, who was regretting every little thing that involved me.

_Maybe I should shut up…_

“Okay…since this seems to be a lost cause, I’m just gonna…whack a few monsters…?” I think I can hear something moving towards us…oh yeah, that’s a _skeleton_! “Alright, time to test this mop out!”

To be quite honest, I expect nothing…but that won’t stop me from trying!

_THWACK!_

“Holy shit—that fucking _worked_!” I stared in awe at the skull I knocked off with a mop. “Hell yeah!!”

**_“The batter swings, and that skull is outta here! Will she be just as lucky on the next one, or will the bat break on the next few swings?”_ **

“You better not jinx me, Grim!” I swung the mop again, this time, breaking right through a skeleton’s spine.

_Snap!_

_That’s not a pleasant sound…_

**_“SWING BATTER, BATTER! SWING!”_ **

“Navi, what are you doing here?!” How many people are there in the Command Room right now?!

 ** _“Feeding these hardworking fools.”_** That…makes sense, but…the only ones who have been working hard are Roman and Da Vinci… **_“And also the freeloaders.”_**

_There we go!_

**_“Freeloader is nicely putting it…”_** I do not envy Roman one bit, being surrounded by so many people who are mostly just watching instead of _doing_ something.

 ** _“Be nice, Romani!”_** Da Vinci laughed.

 ** _“Yeah, Dad—listen to Mom!”_** Who let this sassy child into the Command Room?!

 ** _“I am not your father, Lumaria—”_** And that’s where the transmission cut off—likely Da Vinci deciding that we’ve heard enough. I’ve definitely heard enough from the peanut gallery…

_THWACK!_

“Aw yeah—home run!” That skull went outta here! “Oh?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see another skeleton getting burnt to ash by the fire that CasCú sent its way.

“Gotcha covered, Missy!” he told me before sending a wave of fireballs at the group of skeletons that were heading his way. “Just keep at it!”

…

You’d think the mop would break by now, but it is surprisingly sturdy with how many skeletons it’s managed to break. My arms, on the other hand, are starting to reach their limit and if it wasn’t for Mash, I would’ve gotten an arrow right through my chest.

_Clang! Clang! Clang!_

“Just stay behind me for now,” she told me, her lips turned into a frown. “Are you okay?”

“Just a little slow, but…I’m fine!” I give myself until we head back before I _really_ start feeling it. I turned to Siegfried, who was still so effortlessly striking down skeletons with his sword. I’m not even surprised, though when I looked at Waver, who still looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, I was expecting him to struggle to defend himself…

Don’t know why I even bothered, because this dude just snapped his fingers and set whatever skeletons were near him on fire. He looked at me, his expression still as sour as ever.

“This isn’t magic, if that’s what you’re going to ask.” I wasn’t going to ask, but just for that—I’m calling _everything_ magic…

_I don’t give a shit!_

By the end of the hour, Waver looked like he was about ready to strangle me for calling magecraft, “magic.” “I regret ever deciding to take you under my wing…”

“You didn’t have to, so you only have yourself to blame,” I said as I crushed a skull under my heel. “Hey—this bone is _red_!”

Where the fuck did _that_ come from? I don’t remember seeing any red skeletons…

“I’ll be takin’ that, Missy!” CasCú swooped in to collect the red bone under my foot. “Let me know if you see more—they’re pretty useful if you know how to use them.”

“I’ll take your word for that.” I don’t think I want to know, lest I risk another lecture that will just go over my head…

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

“I’ll get that!” I held up my bracelet and tapped on the button to answer whatever call I was receiving. Then, in the cutesiest voice I could make, I said, “Hiiii, it’s Becky—I’ll be your maid for this evening! Meow!”

The hologram booted up this time, so I got a good look at Roman’s flustered face as he sputtered and gaped. He was at a loss for words—rightfully so, since I doubt anyone was expecting that. I could hear laughter coming from behind Roman as he buried his face into the palms of his hands. Only Da Vinci wasn’t putting up with my crap, as she forcefully shoved Roman out of the way so that she could talk to me.

 ** _“Now’s not the time for jokes, Becky!”_** Despite the fact that she referred to me by my joke name, Da Vinci had a serious expression on her face. Her brow was furrowed, and her lips were pressed tightly into a line. Her eyes were moving left to right across the screen, as though she was reading something. **_“There’s a hostile-looking entity heading your way!”_**

“Missy—watch out!” I barely had time to react before chains wrapped around me, digging into the exposed areas of my skin as I struggled against them. I could feel a tug at the end of the chains, nearly throwing me off balance.

“What the fuck kind of kinky shit is this?!?!” I screamed, almost wheezing when the chains suddenly grew tighter around me. “Aack!”

“Senpai!” Mash was, understandably, concerned.

Thankfully, Siegfried jumped in and slashed his sword through the chains, breaking whatever connection there was to whoever it was that was at the end of the chain. He lifted me into his arms and dashed over to Mash, who was quick to set her shield down in order to help me remove the chains that were wrapped around me.

“Are you okay?” she asked me, receiving only a wheeze from me as an answer. “Good enough!”

Siegfried remained still for a moment before spinning around to deflect an attack from a figure completely shrouded in shadow. And I’m not just saying that because we couldn’t see a damn thing about them—it was as though they _were_ shrouded in shadow. It was emanating from their body like dark smoke, completely hiding their face and most of their body from view.

Mash quickly grabbed her shield and placed it in front of us so as to keep us covered while Siegfried fought off the mysterious figure. The two were completely matched, the sounds of their weapons clashing each time they attacked. This went on for a few more moments before the figure’s hand shot up to their face and removed what might have been a blindfold covering their eyes.

That was when Siegfried lost all sense of mobility. “Gggh!”

Feminine laughter came from the figure, who tossed what looked like a dagger at Siegfried. Thankfully, Waver stepped in, sending a wave of debris in between them and Siegfried. That’s when the figure turned their attention to Waver and threw yet another dagger at him. This time, it hit, though it barely grazed his face, had he not had a fan in his hand.

“Tch!” He clicked his tongue, his thumb swiping over the cut on his cheek. “A Rider, huh?”

The mysterious figure only laughed before jumping out of the way to avoid a wave of fireballs.

“It figured that a Rider would target our only line of offense…” CasCu was scowling, his gaze focused on the mysterious figure.

“Uhhh???” I looked at Mash, who just replied, “A Rider’s magic resistance is high enough to render most attacks from a Caster useless…”

“And that…thing, just…” Well, _fuck_! “Siegfried—are you okay?!”

I only received a barely audible grunt from him, his body slowly regaining mobility.

 ** _“This is the perfect time to test out your outfit’s Mystic Code!”_** I had almost forgotten that I was still in contact with everyone in the Command Room. Also… “What the _fuck_ is a Mystic Code?”

“Now isn’t the time for these explanations!” Waver rudely jumped in, taking a moment to wave his hand in CasCú’s direction. “Keep her busy for the time being!”

“I doubt this is going to work well on her, but it should be better than nothing!” CasCú started up his incantation, managing to maintain his focus, despite the mysterious figure swiping at him with their weapons.

Waver ran over to Mash and me, quickly telling her to hand me over to him. “Go handle Saber—we need to take cover fast.”

“Whoa!” I let out a yelp when Waver suddenly threw me over his shoulder. “Heyyyy!”

“Stop complaining—that Caster’s going to set this place ablaze!” He had some difficulty keeping me still, mostly because the chains were digging into my skin into the most uncomfortable of ways.

“What about Mash?!” I watched as we got farther and farther away from Mash as she rushed over to Siegfried.

“Your Shielder should be able to defend herself and the Saber!” Waver reassured me. “She has that shield, yes?”

“Y-Yeah…” That’s right…

“Then it should be fine…here!” Waver took me into an alleyway—just in time, as we barely avoided the wave of fire that was sent outwards. It likely came off of CasCú’s wicker man, which I heard him yell out for. “We’re safe, for the moment.”

“Neat.” Can you get these chains off of me?

Waver dropped me like a sack of potatoes, kneeling down afterwards to untangle the chains wrapped around me. It took a lot less effort from him, likely because he had a clearer mind than Mash did.

“A mystic code is like a prepared magecraft—all you have to do is supply it with prana, and you should be able to cast whatever skills it comes with,” he explained to me as he looked me over for any serious injuries. “It’s just some minor bruising. It should go away in a few days. Might not look pretty, but at least you’re not dead.”

“So…I just gotta run prana through it?” If I recall what Olga Marie told me, I just gotta feel it… How do I use it, though?

“Feel for your prana and just push it out— _concentrate_.” Waver snapped his fingers in front of my face. “You might be an ignorant brat, but I don’t expect you to stay that way forever.”

“Gee, thanks…” I’ll take that as a compliment… “Okay, let’s try this!”

_Focus!_

I’m feeling… _something_. I think that’s my prana—I guess I just gotta…push?

_Pushing…_

_Pushing…_

“Holy crap!” My outfit’s glowing! “What now?!”

“If what that woman told me is right, there should be a skill in there that should help the Saber with his paralysis.” Waver grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the alley, his gaze scanning the area before he directed my attention at Siegfried and Mash. The two were behind Mash’s shield, currently taking cover while CasCu did his best to deal with the mysterious figure. “Imagine yourself curing him of his—what did you do?”

“Uhhh…” I’m just as confused as you are. One minute, I’m trying to keep my focus, and the next, my outfit stops glowing.

“Head’s up, Missy—she’s headed your way!” Oh what the fuck?!?!

“It’s because you activated the wrong skill!” Waver clenched his teeth, his fan manifesting in his hand as he prepared for his next attack. “Now she’s targeting _you_!”

“Oh god, I’ve got the aggro!” Fuck—why do I have that skill?!

“Try again!” Waver tried his best to keep his composure, though something about the way I mentioned “aggro” just made him cringe. “Hurry!”

“I’m trying!” It’s hard to do things under—fuck! “Did I activate the wrong skill again?!?!”

“You are _impossible_!” Waver waved his fan, sending a blast of debris to keep the mysterious figure at bay. “Why was I summoned to deal with such an unbearable student…why?!”

“You think I asked for this?!” I’m not even the right body, dammit! This isn’t my body! This isn’t even my world! I shouldn’t be here, but I _am_.

“ **Shit**!” Waver swore loudly when the mysterious figure jumped over him. “Look out!”

“Aaaugh!” Things happened so fast. One second, I’m falling flat on my ass, the next, I’m looking at the ass of someone clad in a blue bodysuit.

_Nice…_

“Glad you’re enjoying the view!” Oh god dammit—he can read my mind! “Hope I wasn’t too late.”

“What took you so long?!” We were waiting for you to arrive, Cú!

“Aackk…” a sickening gurgle caught my attention. I looked to the side and saw that Cú had ran his spear through the mysterious figure.

“There were some issues we had with setting up a connection with the Leyline—it’s fixed now.” Cú took a step back, pulling his spear out of the mysterious figure. The mysterious figure collapsed to the floor, soon fading out of existence in a puff of smoke. “What matters is that I arrived in time.”

Waver scoffed. “Barely.”

“My hero…” I felt somewhat high off the adrenaline rushing through my veins. My heart felt like it was going to explode from how hard it was beating in my chest. “That was _seriously_ too close…”

_Thanks for the rescue…_

_Ahahhaa, resCú!_

Ohhh, that was _so_ bad, even Waver groaned at that—wait, _what_?! “Oh god dammit, not you too!”

“Your next lesson is going to be how to properly guard your thoughts.” Waver placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it with his lighter. “For now, you should focus on your Saber.”

“That’s right!” Siegfried—I’m coming for you! “I’m so sorry for screwing up, buddy!”

It took a bit longer to activate my last skill, since I was having a hard time trying to remain calm enough to focus. I kept blurting out apologies as Siegfried stretched out his limbs, having regained his mobility. As soon as everything was good for him, he turned to me and reached out to ruffle my hair.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he told me. “It’s not your fault.”

“For the most part,” Waver remarked, his unneeded commentary earning him a forceful shove from Siegfried. “Tch.”

“I don’t think Siegfried appreciates it when you talk down to Senpai like that…” Mash frowned.

“I can see that.” Waver took a long drag from his cigarette. “It at least shows just how strong a connection you have, as Master and Servant…”

“Not that I haven’t been enjoying our time together, but maybe we should head back now.” CasCú made his way over to us, taking a moment to high-five Cú for a job well done. “I think Missy’s had enough excitement for one day.”

“I lost my mop…” I pouted childishly as I pressed the button on my bracelet. “Becky again, calling to ask if we can leave?”

 **“Please stop calling yourself Becky…”** Roman pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t as flustered as before, though he still looked pretty exhausted. Standing behind him, was a woman I haven’t seen before. She had her hair pulled up into a neat bun and wore a sailor fuku outfit that seemed out of place with the rest of the others—assuming that she was even part of the Chaldea staff.

“Who are you?” I couldn’t help but ask.

 ** _“I’m Esther, but you can call me Es!”_** she cheerfully answered. **_“And I’m just here ‘cause I got lonely…”_**

 ** _“She barged in, not too long ago, because she misplaced some keys I recently gave her…”_** Roman sighed in exasperation. **_“Alongside her glasses—anyone find them yet?”_**

 ** _“No…”_** was all he got as answer from everyone else.

 ** _“We need to put a tracker on your glasses…”_** Roman shook his head. **_“Da Vinci, can you do something about it?”_**

 ** _“I can try—anyways, we’ve collected enough information.”_** Da Vinci leaned into view. **_“We’ll Rayshift you back, just hold on for a few…”_**

“Sorry we have to leave, even though you just got here,” I told Cú, who just shrugged it off.

“I don’t mind—just glad I was of some use before we left.” He flashed me a dazzling smile.

“Show off!” I playfully jabbed my finger into his stomach. “Holy shit—how hard are your abs?!”

“Hard enough.” Cú burst into laughter when I suddenly swatted his hand. “You’re so easy to tease!”

“She is, isn’t she?” CasCú chuckled.

“No wonder Emiya always looks like he’d rather be somewhere else when it involves you two!” Geez, they’re such a hassle to handle when they’re together…

“You okay, Senpai?” Mash asked me.

“I’m fine—just a little tired.” My arms are starting to feel sore… “I’m taking a bath when we get back.”

Might as well start breaking some of my bad, depressive habits while I’m at it…

…

…

“Man, I’m tired!” I said to no one in particular as I submerged my body into the bathwater. It seemed that today’s herbal mix contains lavender…not a fan of it, but hey—it could be worse. I’m just glad I’m done with washing my hair… “How can you stand to do all of that, Mash?”

I turned to my left, which is where Mash was sitting. She blinked a few times and just smiled at me. “Something about it just eases my mind!”

“Is that so?” I mean, it makes sense… “I’ll try it one of these days on Siegfried.”

When I’m not too afraid of accidentally seeing his dick or something…

_Goodbye sweet innocence—whatever left of it there is._

Don’t know why I’m even worrying about it, when I’ve already seen my fair share of shit from the internet… And yet, that still doesn’t stop me from completely averting my gaze when Siegfried sits down to my right.

_Don’t look at his abs, don’t look at his abs, don’t look at his abs…_

“Are you okay, Master?” _Please_ don’t call me that when we’re naked…

“I’m fine!” That’s a total lie, but I’m not in any mood to elaborate just yet. Maybe later, when we’re out of the bath and dressed and not…yeah. “Oh—do you mind if I wash your hair, Siegfried?”

While it sounded like a simple enough question to ask, it _does_ involve a situation that requires me to get behind Siegfried—which is something that causes him discomfort. He’s not too keen about letting _anyone_ near his back, so I don’t expect him to say yes so easily…

“Only if you ask beforehand.” And yet, he does so anyways, catching me completely by surprise. “So long as I know that it’s you, then there shouldn’t be much of an issue…”

“J-Just let me know when you start feeling uncomfortable!” Even if you tell me that it’s okay, I still don’t expect you to get over your discomfort that easily! It takes time—of which we haven’t had much of, since it’s only been a few days since we’ve actually met. “I don’t wanna force you so suddenly!”

Siegfried only grunted in response, not saying much else after that.

…

…

After a brief moment of silence, Mash started to speak, “You’re always so quick to worry about us instead of yourself, Senpai.”

“You’re not wrong…” It’s hard to forget how willing I was to risk my own life so that I could save someone I just met… “I’m glad you’re okay.”

I still don’t know much about Mash, but…I can certainly say that she’s no longer someone I just met. We’ve spent enough time together—long enough that I can consider her a friend.

“We’re friends…right?” A part of me still feels so unsure about it, so I can’t help but ask Mash to confirm it.

“Of course!” she replied with a smile on her face.

A part of me almost forgets to breathe as wave of emotions rushes through me, leaving me somewhat lightheaded. I start laughing, not knowing how else to react. I’m just so happy.

_So very, **very** happy…_

I had almost forgotten about the person whose life I’ve taken over. It’s really only when I’m standing in front of Fujimaru Ritsuka’s coffin that it all sinks in…

“I’m sorry…” I tell him, even though I know he won’t respond to me. The relief that I felt from earlier was now replaced with an overwhelming sense of guilt. “I’m sorry that I’m here, instead of her…”

I’m sorry that I can’t remember anything about her…about _you_ …

_About **anything**._

“I’m…sorry…” The tears spill out of my eyes, my chest growing tighter and tighter with each passing second. It’s hard to breathe as I continued to apologize to him. I wanted to scream when I remembered his smile…

_That smile wasn’t for me—it was for **her**!_

They must have been really close…

_And I took all of that away from them…_

…

…

* * *

“Yahoo—Master~!!” Astolfo notifies his Master with his presence, cheerfully calling out to her after spending a good half hour searching for her. “Is this where you’ve been?”

He was hoping to see her in the maid outfit that he’s heard Medea brag about so much, but to his disappointment, Noa is back to wearing that oversized t-shirt. It’s not a bad look, but he was hoping to see her in something far cuter…

 _“Oh well!”_ He at least found her, so that’s that! Though, she does look a little under the weather, from the way she’s sitting on the floor, with her knees brought up to her chest. “You okay, Master?”

He doesn’t receive a response from her, which is concerning. He doesn’t push her though, deciding to instead plop down right next to her and just wait for her to get better. He looks at her, frowning when he notices the long locks of hair that cover the floor.

“Geez—you’re such a mess!” Astolfo laughs to himself as he moves his Master around, taking care as to not be too forceful. She doesn’t seem to mind from the way she doesn’t protest. She remains silent, even when Astolfo starts running his fingers through her hair. “A cute girl like you should at least take care of her hair!”

Of course, if she doesn’t want to, then he’ll just have to do it for her… So he starts humming to himself as he begins to braid his Master’s long, orange hair. It takes him a lot longer than it does with himself to even get partway through, due to how much hair Noa has.

More than a few minutes have passed before Astolfo finds himself hearing his Master say something. “…cuter…”

“What’s that?” Astolfo pauses for a moment, looking over Noa’s shoulder at her. There’s a light blush dusting her cheeks red as she murmurs, “You’re cuter.”

“Ohh…?” Astolfo laughs. “I think so too! Thank you!”

Yes, he can certainly get behind having this girl as his Master…

* * *

…

…

I was feeling a lot better by the time Astolfo finished braiding my hair. He seemed especially proud of his work, telling me, “Now we match!”

He laughed as he draped the long braid over my shoulder, similar to how he had his hair. He hums contently, immediately standing up and adjusting his skirt.

“C’mon, Master!” he encouraged me. “Today might’ve been a bad day, but there’s always tomorrow!”

He held out his hand to me, waiting patiently for me to take it so that he could help me off the floor. It still surprises me with how much taller he is than me… I barely came up to his chin, which says a lot about how short I was, when Astolfo wasn’t that tall of a person to begin with.

“That’s a good Master!” He patted me affectionately on the head before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the room. “Da Vinci-chan wants to talk to you, so I was sent to look for you.”

“Were you?” Somehow, I doubt that…

“Hmmm…okay!” Astolfo laughed. “You caught me—I just wanted to see you in that outfit Medea was bragging about. Since Da Vinci-chan was looking for you, I decided that this would be like killing to birds with one stone!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Geez, if you wanted to see me in that outfit, then all you had to do was ask…”

“Maybe later—we shouldn’t keep everyone else waiting, yeah?” He had a point…

“Alright…later, then.” Though, before that…

“H-Hey!!” Astolfo exclaimed when I suddenly reached out to pinch his nose.

“That’s for kissing me!” I’m not really mad, or anything, but…I feel like I should at least assert some boundaries. The last thing I want is for him to go kissing me again in the changing room…

_Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it—FUCK._

I didn’t need that mental image brain, but thanks anyways… “Next time—make sure you’re wearing clothes.”

I’m going to regret that phrasing of mine, but I don’t exactly expect this to be the last time I kiss any of my Servants. The least I can do is set up some conditions so I’m not _always_ dying of embarrassment…

“Okay, okay—just let go, Master!” Astolfo whined in annoyance, reaching out to pinch my nose as well. We stopped walking from that point on, neither of us willing to let go of the other’s nose.

A minute passes and the two of us soon burst into a fit of laughter.

…

…

Da Vinci was in her workshop, drawing a circle on the floor when we showed up. She greeted us in her cheeriest tone, smiling warmly as she gestured at me to come closer.

“I assume you have an idea of how summoning usually works, yes?” she asked.

“Uhh…” I was too busy staring at the weird contraptions and papers lining the walls and tables. The floor was made out of polished wood, and the walls were lined with tile. There was at least one bookshelf in the room, filled with various books and some jars. It seemed so out of place, compared to the rest of Chaldea, that it was almost distracting… “Wait—you’re not gonna slice my hand, are you?!”

That snapped me out of my thoughts, bringing me back to the situation before me. I held my hand closely to my chest, my gaze focused completely on Da Vinci, who just giggled.

“This type of summoning does not require blood,” she calmly explained. “Rather—it relies on the bonds between you and your Servants. That bracelet of yours has been collecting information from your interactions and converting them into points.”

Da Vinci walked over to me, grabbing my hand so that she could remove the bracelet on my wrist. Afterwards, she held it so that I could watch her press two buttons simultaneously, booting up a hologram that displayed my profile.

“Hmm, hmmm…” Da Vinci furrowed her brow, likely taking note of the fact that the image used for my profile was no longer relevant, considering how much longer my hair had gotten. “I’ll make sure that Romani updates your profile. For now…everything seems just about right.”

“What the hell is quartz?” That was the first thing I asked when I noticed the list of weird stats underneath my name.

“That is what Chaldea uses in order to summon Heroic Spirits,” Da Vinci explained. “You need at least three of them in order to initiate a summon, though I recommend waiting until you have thirty to maximize your chances of summoning a Servant.”

“You mean I won’t always get a Servant?” I think that’s how gacha games work? You get something, but it won’t always be what you want…

“Unfortunately, yes…” Da Vinci sighed. “That’s where Craft Essences come into play, as they are the result of a failed summoning…”

“Thankfully, Master didn’t fail when summoning us!” I let out a yelp when Astolfo suddenly threw his arms around me. “Of course, you didn’t _really_ summon me…”

_What?_

“Ahh, yes…like El-Melloi II, you more or less were summoned by Chaldea itself.” Da Vinci nodded her head. “Though, unlike El-Melloi II, you showed up willingly—not out of necessity, but of your own decision.”

“Heehee!” Astolfo giggled as he pressed his cheek against mine. “You caught me!”

“If I didn’t summon you, then…why do you call me, Master?” I don’t exactly understand…

“Because out of everyone, _you_ interest me the most!” Astolfo lightly pinched my cheek. “So if I had to call someone Master, then I’d prefer it be you!”

“Ahh…” Okay…I _think_ that makes sense.

“That aside, it seems you’ve accumulated enough points for a summon.” Da Vinci zoomed in on the numbers right next to an icon of two hands shaking each other. It was primarily green in color, framed with gold. “Alright—let’s start!”

She walked back over to the circle, setting the bracelet down in the center where a strange device was placed. As soon as she had the bracelet hooked up to the device, Da Vinci walked out of the circle.

“Now we wait and see who answers your call,” she tells me, gesturing at the circle as it began glowing. “Who will it be that accepts you, based on the bonds that you’ve established?”

“I hope it’s someone interesting!” Astolfo’s eyes practically sparkled in awe. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!!”

Unfortunately, nothing came out of the first few summons. All I got was what Da Vinci referred to as, “Completely worthless Craft Essence.”

She was already throwing them into some weird machine that spat out blue-colored crystals each time she fed a card into it. “I hope you don’t mind if I burned these, yes?”

“I don’t mind.” Not like it mattered, since she was already “burning” them.

“This is disappointing…” Astolfo said as he got off of me. He stretched out his limbs, yawning afterwards out of boredom. “Booooring!”

“It is supposed to be an alternative to using quartz, though it has it’s limits of what it can summon.” Da Vinci crossed her arms over her chest. “I wouldn’t expect much out of the Friend Point Summon.”

“Friend Point?” Is that what we’re gonna call it?

“FP for short!” Da Vinci grinned at me. “Like it?”

“It makes sense.” And that’s all I have to say about it, because I really can’t be bothered to learn about the exact details of summoning and crap… “Huh?!”

“Oho~!” Da Vinci’s gaze focused back on the summoning circle. “It seems someone answered your call!”

“About time!” Astolfo tightened his hands into fists, his body practically shaking with excitement. “Who’s it gonna be? Who’s it gonna beeee?”

Astolfo received an answer in the form of a blue-haired child with pale skin that appeared in midair. He had short hair and wore formal clothing suitable for someone of his size. He hovered in the air for a few seconds, his blue eyes somewhat wide with shock.

“Incoming!” Da Vinci exclaimed as she gave me a light shove towards the child. “Go greet your new Servant!”

I held out my arms, hoping to catch the boy before he hit the floor.

_THUD!_

It went exactly as one would expect from someone of my particular height catching someone who wasn’t that much shorter. It certainly helped that the boy weighed a lot more than I was used to carrying, so it wasn’t that much of a surprised that I wasn’t able to maintain my balance.

“Augh…” I landed hard on my tailbone, no thanks to the boy’s weight adding more to the impact. At the very least, he was okay, if a bit shaken up…wait a fucking second! “This little boy?!?!”

 **_This_ ** _is who I summoned?!_

The boy looked at me with the harshest expression he could make, clearly not pleased with my comment. It barely had an affect on me, as I found him even more adorable instead of threatening…

That’s when he opened his mouth and said, in the deepest voice I have _ever_ heard from a child, “Excuse _you_ , my name is Hans Christian Andersen!”

My eyes practically bulged out of their sockets as I stared at the blue-haired boy sitting in my lap. Of all the things I was expecting, _this_ wasn’t it.

“Holy fuck!” I don’t think _anything_ could have ever prepared me for this.

“Welcome to Chaldea, Andersen!” Da Vinci was completely unfazed with the scene before her, clapping her hands together as she cheerfully welcomed the Servant I had just summoned. “It seems that you were the only one to answer Noa’s call!”

“Master sure is summoning a lot of Casters!” Astolfo knelt down to Andersen’s level, looking him up and down before reaching out to ruffle his hair. This earned him a harsh swat from Andersen. “Ehehe—at least this one’s personality is similar to Master’s.”

“I’d say that the difference is in execution,” Da Vinci remarked, seeming especially amused with Andersen. “I’ll go inform Romani of our most recent addition to the Servant list… In the meantime, why don’t you get to know each other?”

“Is this even a child?!” I blurted out, looking questioningly at Da Vinci. This only earned me a harsh tug to my braid from Andersen.

“So asks the person who appears to be a child as well!” he snapped.

“ _You_ are the last person who should be calling _me_ a child!” I countered, not wanting to hear it from someone who looks like they’re only ten or eleven…

“So we both agree—neither of us should be calling the other a child.” Andersen crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze still focused on me.

“Don’t think I won’t treat you like one if you misbehave…” I won’t hesitate!

“Likewise, my foolish Master!” Andersen barked out a laugh. “I suppose you’re decent enough to work with…”

“Not like you have a choice.” With the way things are, I don’t think _any_ of us have a choice… “By the by, my name is Noa—I’d prefer it if you call me that, instead of Master.”

“I’ll call you whatever it is that I like.” Alright, Sass Master—anything else you’d like? “Since you offered, I would like a cup of tea.”

“Are my thoughts _that_ exposed?!” I am _so_ going to Waver after this!

_Before that, though…_

“Can you get off my lap first?” I know you’re comfy and all, but I can’t make you tea while I’m like this. “You can sit however long you want when I’m done.”

That comment alone was enough to make Andersen’s face burn red from embarrassment. “Fool! Why would anyone choose such an awkward place to sit?!”

“I dunno…you look _really_ comfortable!” Astolfo piped up, laughing deviously behind his hand as he watched Andersen climb out of my lap. “Enjoy yourself?”

“As if I’d ever!” Andersen was having some difficulty keeping his composure.

_How cuuuute~!_

You know what? I don’t think I mind having this little guy as a Servant. Sure, he’s pretty sassy, but…I think I can manage. “C’mon, Andersen—you asked for that cup of tea, so I’m going to make it for you!”

I grabbed onto his hand as soon as I stood up. He protested at first, not at all pleased that I was dragging him by the hand like some sort of child. Eventually, he relented, deciding that this was the sort of person I was. That still didn’t stop him from roasting the shit out of me.

"Rudeness, and childishness?! Were it not for the dire stakes of this war you are so ill-equipped to truly fight, I would have returned to throne myself before having needlessly flung my own head onto the nearest pike of a soldier! Truly, this war is over before it had even begun."

_I do believe that this is the start of a beautiful friendship…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE, IT’S BEEN A WHILE, YES???
> 
> Major shout-outs to **ShadedCat** for that Andersen roast, because, according to him, I’m, “terrible at being mean.” He wrote that out for me, so thank youuu!! And also, shout-out to **Lyrecho** for that Cú pun. Lmao, there was another one I thought up, but felt it wouldn’t translate well, but it was basically going “tasuCúte” instead of “tasukete” (which is Japanese for help). Yeah, just…thought I’d share it. It’s bad, but fuck it! I don’t care! XD
> 
> Moving on, I’ve gone through all of Babylonia, Solomon, and am currently making my way through Shinjuku, so spoilers up until then are no longer banned, though, I still won’t talk much about them for the people reading this fic, so I won’t…really talk much about it until I get to those parts in this fic (THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG FIC, YES).
> 
> Since the last time I updated this fic, I’ve gotten an influx of five star servants, of which NOW includes an NP3 LV100 Ozymandias who got jealous because I was thirsting after the Archer of Shinjuku and showed up in a roll instead of him. Just thought I’d share that, because, gacha salt aside, it’s hilarious. Anyone wanting to share FGO codes, just hit me up in a commend, and I’m willing to share! I don’t mind! ^^
> 
> Thank you guys so much for taking the time to review! It really means a lot to me, so don't ever feel afraid to leave a comment, just so long as you're not pessimistic about it, yeah? Other than that, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!
> 
> Until next time, everyone!


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